Telling the In Laws

[Beeble]

Ok, So I have told my mum and stepdad and my actual dad that I am now pregnant. I don't like attention from people so it was hard for me to do that - not because I was scared of their reactions, I knew my mum and stepdad wanted to be grandparents and that they would be over the moon! hehe

Anyway, we are still to tell my fiancées parents and the thought of it makes me feel sick.

It took a long time for me to get on with them, and we get on quite well now but they are a lot more formal than my parents and harder to have casual honest conversation with. They are more "parental" with my fiancee than my parents as they always have to give their opinion on things and make us think about buying a house, opening savings accounts, looking at what we are doing with our lives.
They know we are not loaded and struggle some months, we rent a house and I am not in a career that I want to stay in (I just got accepted into college which I will have to defer) So basically I am embarrassed to say I am pregnant because it puts loads of attention on me and I am scared of their reaction. I don't want anyone to be disappointed.

Anyone else had a similar situation or been scared to tell people? How did you do it?

Thanks

 

[claire671]

I know how you feel! I was absolutely petrified of telling my inlaws (sadly both my parents have passed away). I was with DH for nearly 4 years before we really started to get on well BUT I have to tell you, it has brought us so much closer. I wasn't working when I fell pregnant and had a pretty formal relationship with them but now it's so different. It did take them maybe a couple of weeks to get their heads around it but now they couldn't be more excited.
We told them by handing them my early scan picture (I was 8 weeks gone at the time) and had a very muted response..."Whats this I'm looking at here?" Me: "You're grandchild!" Them: "Oh yes, how lovely, fancy a cup of tea?" And that was it. But cut to now, they're helping us redecorate, buying our pram, picking up baby things when they're out, even HUG me when they say hello (this is taking some getting used to ).
Don't be scared hun, I really hope it all goes well for you! xx

 

[Loula]

i was sooo scared on telling my family my mum especially as i had applied to do a degree, had just got a fab job and got on my feet and knew they would be disappointed. They were at frist but they came round to the idea. Sometimes you just gotta bitwe the bullet x

 

[Beeble]

Thanks My family are thrilled which I am grateful for, my dad is clueless though - asking me if I know if its a boy or a girl at like 5 weeks! hehe

Can only hope the inlaws take it well - I think they want us married and in our own house before having a baby. Plus our wedding is next year so they will be wondering how we plan to save for that and the baby! We will tell them when we know the answer to that ourselves! x

 

[Leah04x]

I definitely know how you feel! :shocked:

I was absolutely petrified telling both my own parents and my OHs parents.. But their reactions were so different to what I expected.. I thought they would be disappointed, but they were all over the moon!

Hope it goes well! xx

 

[Asd1]

I haven't told anyone yet but i worry about telling my parents as it would be their first grandchild and iv always thought my older sister should go first on that one really. Plus the fact we were planning our wedding and iv just started a really good job. My ohs partners are no problem as they already have two grandchildren and have openly spoken about wanting another!

 

[Sunshine_1]

When I told my Mum and Dad about Number 1 all those years ago I thought they were going to kill me, I was still fairly young and we didn't have a lot of money..I hid behind my (then) husband......Mum burst in to tears of happiness and couldn't be more thrilled.

This time they knew me and my partner had been trying for a long time, and so we went and told them 'there was nothing the fertility specialist could do for us at the hospital today, because I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant'.....expecting tears and hugs etc much like last time.....she said 'oh, there we are then' . In fact it took my OH talking to my Dad about the weird reaction that evening in Scouts, and Dad talking to Mum for her to tell me the next day that she was pleased for me, just really worried.

I thought my FiL would be a little down about the news as it's only his second grandchild (this one after 18 years!) and he only lost his wife just before me and the OH met, he was ecstatic!!

What I'm trying to say is that you never know how they will react, sometimes they have to work up to it, but generally they can't stay angry or extremely concerned on the surface for long, your making them grandparents....hopefully they will be like my gran, who barely stopped crying for 9 months saying 'I always wanted to be a great gandma'

 

[Sammyxo]

We haven't told my OH's parents yet, mine are already grandparents so telling them hasn't been an issue and they were pretty over the moon.
I'm 26 as is my OH, we're not married, live in rented accomodation, and a few months ago I quit my job so money has been extremely tight recently - of which his parents know.
I am very nervous to tell them, seeing it from my older sisters point of view when she told my parents I know that with time they will get on board with it and it should be okay. I also know that they can't change my mind.

But I don't want them to blame me for this, my OH's mum still see's him as her 'baby' so for him (the youngest in the family) to say he is having a baby first is a little nerve wracking.

Not sure when he's going to tell them but I know he's stressed about it too. Argh.

 

[Jem1]

My folks know but im leaving if to my fella to tell his parents. This one is my parents 3rd grandchild, they have 2 off my brother so i knew my mum would be over the moon when i fell pregnant. Im 27 and my OH is 39 so a bit of difference in the age of our parents so as i say ive decided to let him handle it and we've no plans to get married as were both divorced but its both our first child!! What a complicated story!!!

 

[PyscoFalcon]

That's what we'll be doing when we visit on the 15th June - show them my 6 weeks scan

Then hide as I know his mums been wanting me to get pregnant for years.

 

[Beeble]

That's what we'll be doing when we visit on the 15th June - show them my 6 weeks scan

Then hide as I know his mums been wanting me to get pregnant for years.

Thats cute we are going to do the same with 8 week scan if everything is all good and well. Although not sure what reaction we are in for. They have never spoken about kids and are very protective of my oh and dont want him to ruin his life. It could go either way, fingers crossed they are happy

 

[PyscoFalcon]

*touches wood* for ya