I'm screwed!

[xshauna_bazx]

Sorry another rant...

OHs mams 50th at the end of the month and i havent even got enough money for the bills.
I said your gonna have to tell your mam we cant make it...as its 35 mile away and i have no clothes that fit me...i mean like literally a pair of leggings and a top thats all! So obviously ill need something to wear!!! OH started moaning saying he wasent missing his mams 50th!
I cant fucking help it what am i going to do...i dont even want to think about xmas!!! He keeps saying we will sort something out...HOWWWWW!!! magic money or go and fucking pick it off a tree!!! Seriously we havent enough for our direct debits at the end of the month by about 100 pound so how the fuck does he expect us to go to a fucking party 35 mile away!!!
I feel like bursting out into tears what a mess!!! i dunno what im going to do!!! im screwed completley he doesnt understand it doesnt magic out of thin air!

 

[ruthiestar]

Try not to worry and stress yourself with money probs ( easy for me to say not being in your position!) but you should be looking after yourself, don't get wound up.

I'd still go, i'd be very upset if my OH didn't go to my mothers 50th party! There would be definate fireworks in my house! lol Don't worry about clothes, you can always accessorise with what u have? Is only one evening x x

 

[tipper]

I hear you on the money issues D: It can be so hard sometimes juggling your every day bills and expenses, and then throw in all the get-togethers that families like to have. My inlaws LOVE taking trips up to wine country and are always trying to get us to go. Something about $700+ a pop doesn't sit right with me when I have massive bills, we're trying to save for a house, plus you know...a baby on the way!

Anyway! I understand the thought of going to this is probably driving you insane, but 50th birthdays do seem to be rather important events in a person's life. Even if you guys can't get her a gift (not sure if one is expected), or buy a nice new outfit to attend, I think just showing up and being there for her night would mean the world to both your OH and his mum. Again, I COMPLETELY understand how you're feeling as I've freaked out on my husband more than once for very similar situations...but I would still recommend trying to get there if at all possible. If not, I would just let his mum know that unfortunately there is absolutely no way you can get out there due to expenses....and if she really wants you there, maybe she'll offer to pay for the travel fees out

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Thats the thing zilch money completley. And no money to get there as it 35 mile away. Ive put so much weight on nothing fits me i mean nothing xx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I hear you on the money issues D: It can be so hard sometimes juggling your every day bills and expenses, and then throw in all the get-togethers that families like to have. My inlaws LOVE taking trips up to wine country and are always trying to get us to go. Something about $700+ a pop doesn't sit right with me when I have massive bills, we're trying to save for a house, plus you know...a baby on the way!

Anyway! I understand the thought of going to this is probably driving you insane, but 50th birthdays do seem to be rather important events in a person's life. Even if you guys can't get her a gift (not sure if one is expected), or buy a nice new outfit to attend, I think just showing up and being there for her night would mean the world to both your OH and his mum. Again, I COMPLETELY understand how you're feeling as I've freaked out on my husband more than once for very similar situations...but I would still recommend trying to get there if at all possible. If not, I would just let his mum know that unfortunately there is absolutely no way you can get out there due to expenses....and if she really wants you there, maybe she'll offer to pay for the travel fees out

Thanks, to be honest they are people who dont care i didnt even get a birthday card off her last year took her up until now to get OH his theory test which was for his birthday that was back in march he didnt get a card either. Arghhhhhhh! xx

 

[mumofmany]

I totally understand your money worries, is there anything you can cut down on, we got rid of sky tv and the home telephone and just had our mobiles if we had any money we would put credit on if not then it was tough people could still get hold of us. We also got gas and electric meters as it was easier to find the money weekly than monthly. When we were back on our feet we got virgin as it was alot cheaper, we moved to council house as rent cheaper. just trying to think of ways that can ease the stress a little. Try ebay for an outfit you will be suprised i picked up a lovely dress for 99p that still had tags on. I would try and see if there is a way to go to the party as it only happens once, what is your MIL like is there anyway she would lend you the money to go down there for a while, i know my mum and MIL would rather we asked them than not turn up. If your OH is really not understanding the money trouble then ask him to sit down with you and see what you can do together about it write down what comes in and what goes out, and if there is anything you could live without and get him to see if there is anything he can live without, I had to do that with my OH then he finally got it, luckily enough we are out of it now we still owed our mums money but we started a standing order of £20 a week to pay them off, my mum actually owes me money now and it should be up to £200 by xmas, we still owe his mum and wont finish paying her till march but we should be totally straight by the time baby comes.
I hope youfind a way soon to get by and have less stress but i always have said sod the bills once in a while and enjoy yourself when the stress gets too much, cause we only have 1 life and its here to enjoy not to stress about money. I know it sounds irresponsible but I dont know wether we would have got through it if it wasn't for those few nights were we got to relax and actually have a laugh together.

 

[xshauna_bazx]

ive worked bills out this month and we have literally nothing left after. my house is private and i cant get a council ( i wish) only got sky a few month ago so were in a contract for 12 month now. the rest is gas and elec and tv license which are all direct debits and need to be paid i already dont pay water after a few month of saying well catch up next month and we never did so owe them alot. Ill be relaxed tomorrow but it plays on my mind all the time. were already going to have to go the rest of the month with no shopping. xxx

 

[tipper]

Family dynamics can be really hard to understand. Even though his mom seems to not pay much attention to you guys, I would say if it is important to your OH to be there, go for him if possible. Best of luck!

 

[lealea85]

Sorry another rant...

OHs mams 50th at the end of the month and i havent even got enough money for the bills.
I said your gonna have to tell your mam we cant make it...as its 35 mile away and i have no clothes that fit me...i mean like literally a pair of leggings and a top thats all! So obviously ill need something to wear!!! OH started moaning saying he wasent missing his mams 50th!
I cant fucking help it what am i going to do...i dont even want to think about xmas!!! He keeps saying we will sort something out...HOWWWWW!!! magic money or go and fucking pick it off a tree!!! Seriously we havent enough for our direct debits at the end of the month by about 100 pound so how the fuck does he expect us to go to a fucking party 35 mile away!!!
I feel like bursting out into tears what a mess!!! i dunno what im going to do!!! im screwed completley he doesnt understand it doesnt magic out of thin air!

Hunny try not to stress. He needs to understand that is a difficult time. No one wants to miss their mothers birthday. Unless he can capture a leprechaun to find the funds then I applause him.
Ask a friend or ur mum to let u raid their waldrobe (that's what I do when I have to go out), and tell suggest to your OH that if he is going to find a way to not be selfish n to find you the most comfortable n stress free way to travel 35 miles as ur carrying the Lil one.

Please try not to stress. Xxx

 

[lealea85]

ive worked bills out this month and we have literally nothing left after. my house is private and i cant get a council ( i wish) only got sky a few month ago so were in a contract for 12 month now. the rest is gas and elec and tv license which are all direct debits and need to be paid i already dont pay water after a few month of saying well catch up next month and we never did so owe them alot. Ill be relaxed tomorrow but it plays on my mind all the time. were already going to have to go the rest of the month with no shopping. xxx

Call the gas/elec company and ask to switch to metre rather than quarterly (if u pay quarterly/monthly), by law the water cannot be switched off if you do not pay it. If push come to shove maybe you could look into finding a cheaper house. Look for a maisonette or flat. Sadly these are things you have to consider when finances are extremely low n got a baby on the way. I gave up my i private rented place n moved bk to mums for a short period to save funds and get a cheaper 2 bed before baby arrives. It doesn't work for everyone but I really hope ur stresses go away soon

 

[Miss]

Awww hun it's just one thing after another for you isn't it!

My advice is do not stress....if OH is saying he will sort it let him try! No point you stressing over something you can see no way out of.

Oh and if you go don't worry - you will look lovely in whatever you wear!

By the way go to CAB - you cannot carry on having more out goings than incommings so you really need some proper debt advice and they are the ones to give it to you. Best to get it all sorted now rather than worring like this every month! x

 

[nmf1987]

im exactly the same about money hun. always seems to be us worrying not them.

if it was lee i would tell him we can go aslong as you find the money for that and the bills, or go by yourself.

try not to worry too much. if you speak to the gas, water etc they can set up payment schemes that make it easier for you each month.

xx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Thanks for all your lovely advice... i think im going to go to the jobcentre and see if theres anything else i am entitled too as my housing benefit said i should be, then on a walk in day in CAB im going to go there and maybe they can help sort my water out too. Ill tell him if he can find the money then we can go simple as.
My "friend" is always rubbing it in my face she has more money with all the things they buy i feel like shouting well me and my chap aint claiming seperate when her chap earns over 1000 a month and shes working on the side!!! they are rolling in it! Im not saying anything against people who claim seperate as i know someone who has before and they were doing it to get by because they actually couldnt live. But my "friend" is taking the piss shes doing alot more than just claiming seperate. How can she rub it in my face when she knows what she is doing.
She comes to my house and brings her own teabags and water!!! she said my water tastes funny. everything of mine is shit compared to hers! so she thinks even though if i say so myself i have made my house gorgeous and i love my living room but obviously she has something to say about it.
Sorry for offloading again just need to get it out lol thanks for listening to me blab on xxx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Oh and shes even tried to put me off having a 3d scan because she never got one! how selfish can you get.xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

WOW honey poor you. Sounds like you got all bases covered and you are doing the right thing, if he can get the money then maybe go, or if you really dont want to then you stay home wherever you feel best, you are the important one here...OH there is a website called freecycle where everything is free you could look on there in your local area for maternity clothes....its a thought...if you were down the road you could have had my maternity clothes.. Is there anyone who can lend you an outfit? just in case he gets the money together?

As for your "friend" you hit the nail on the head, shes not a very nice person and you are! END OF. So she can eff off hey.

Massive
xxxx

 

[XHopefulX]

I wouldn't of even let this woman through my front door less alone called her a friend!! I agree with you that if you can't afford things you simply can't have it...... leave the door shut the next time she calls around! Grrrr hate self obsessed people.

The whole benefit system annoys me too.... how can she get away with that?

I have worked since I was 14 and paid my taxes since then, never been unemployed so I have never claimed anything .... I work now full time and still struggle with my bills on a daily basis to keep the roof over my head, I am 37 so I think I have paid my dues and there are people like this so called friend ripping the benefit system off?!!! I know my rant my of offended people but that is the way I feel...

Shauna, she isn't a friend hun x

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I know hun, shes getting a college course paid for and doing avon in her sisters name too and shes got a kid so gets everything paid for rent poll tax she only has gas n elec. I know she aint a real friend, but why is she like this? she never had nothing when she was younger!!! xxx

 

[XHopefulX]

Jealousy!!! Trying to be better than you because she wants to be you! Or very low confidence that it comes across as bullying if you get what I mean x

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I know what you mean hun maybe it is, she will sit in my living room and say yours is better than mine im gonna decorate.
Your meant to be happy for your friends aint ya???
I find it very hard to be happy for them now xxx

 

[Miss]

I am gonna have to agree with everyone who has stated she is not much of a friend.

To be honest Hopeful has said everything I was thinking while I was reading your post hun.

Sometimes the only way people can feel good about themselves is by putting others down x