Im just so lonely :(

[tambo1976]

Hi Ladies, sorry for the upcoming rant but Im so bloody depressed atm and I wanted to get it off my chest.

6 years ago I divorced from the Dad of my 3 kids, I then met a wonderful new fella and we have been together for 5 years.

When I got divorced I had to move out of my house as my ex refused to budge, so me and my new partner got a house together in a new area. The problem is through divorcing and moving area I have lost touch with every friend I ever had through one reason or another and even though I am immensely happy with my OH I am so so lonely. It was very hard to keep my friends when I left as they were friends of both me and my ex and I needed to break free from that circle.

Because my children are older I dont get to meet other Moms through playgroups and such. We are TTC and I have no-one to share my thoughts with except my OH, and we all know that its just not the same as having a gossip with your mates.

I have never been close to my Mom and even if I was she lives an hours drive away, I also only have 1 brother who I have lost touch with as he suffers from mental issues. I am sadly not close to the rest of my family.

I used to have an awesome circle of friends and I miss them all so much, I just feel so sad most of the time when I see other women shopping together and sat in cafes enjoying a laugh over coffee.

I just wish I had friends in my life again to talk to about my hopes and fears of ttc at my age (Im 35 and worried Ive left it to late to have another).

Sorry everyone for the rant but Im just so sad atm and wanted to write down my thoughts. I hope I haven't depressed you

Babydust to all xx

 

[jodie34]

Hi hun , I can say hand on heart I know how you feel even though I have my dh and 2 kiddiwinkles at home I feel the same as u , I live 4 hours from family and just moved to a new area so don't know a soul its hard to meet new mums at school as my son is autistic I feel they see him as a bad kid , it doesn't help that I suffer from anxiety so being stuck in the house all day just makes things worse , I'm 35 aswell but feel like a miserable old woman sometimes , you do need other female friends like u say to go and have a cuppa with and a right good old gossip , when I lived in yorkshire I knew everyone had loads of friends but now I feel isolated and some days so low dh does understand but that doesn't help lol , feel free to rant anytime bcos I know exactly how you feel x x

 

[Kiki0210]

I'm sorry to hear ur story. I don't know if it helps but the relationship I was in before the one I have now was very difficult, jealous, controlling, abusive and he had mental health issues. I ended up losing touch with my best friends that id grown up with because it was just easier than to get grief! I never thought I could repair the damage and it's taken a long time but i'm beginning to get my friends back. If u had people that were ur friends to begin with its maybe that they just found the break up of u and ur ex difficult? Maybe they're feeling the same as u? But ul never know unless u try and build bridges. If that's a possibility id give it a go. It might seem difficult at first but if u can get talking again it's worth it. Whatever happens I hope u feel better soon xxx

 

[precious_cargo]

I think Kiki has some good advice. True friends will welcome u back with open arms it may take a but to build bridges but ring/text/ message n say how much u miss them xx



Babydust to all

 

[Alwaystrying]

Aww Hun so sorry you're feeling down, I had a similar situation when I was younger, I was with him for 6 years and lost touch with all my old friends and allot of my friends were "our" friends. When I left the relationship I felt very lonely and found it harder to find new friends, thankfully this has now changed and got a solid group of very close friends who have stuck with with through thick and thin.

Like precious cargo mentioned could you not get back in touch with them and ask about going for a coffee etc I'm sure once you get talking it will be just like old times

 

[hayes]

I dont really know what to say but just wanted to say this forum is always fab for chatting away your fears and for picking up bak up when you are down. Big hugs to you hun.

Michelle. x

 

[tambo1976]

Thanks for all the lovely responses

Ive had a better day today, guess I was just feeling really down last night... been a real grump the last few days and last night was just awful, sorry for my rant again!

I doubt I could go back to my old friends though tbh, they were to involved in my ex and as he has played zero part in my kids lives the last 2-3 years (yes he forgets Christmas and Birthdays without fail sadly) I really dont want any talk of him as it just upsets my little girl too much, going back would just be a reminder as he would be mentioned by people in front of her and stir up old emotions.

At least these forums are full of wonderful people with fantastic advice!

Lots of Babydust to everyone xxx

 

[Babybushie28]

Hi Tambo,

I understand what you mean also, I moved to London about 10 years ago and although I have met lots of fantastic people I would only call 3 of them my close friends, they don't live close to me so our meet ups are planned way in advance and are few and far between. All my school/college friends are in my home town which is about 2hrs drive away and I miss just bring able to pop over when I need cheering up or just to watch Saturday nite tv with!

Don't get me wrong my oh is great but it's not the same. I've just signed up with a local leisure centre to join some aerobics classes to get fit and also with the hope of meeting some new people that are local.

Maybe that's something you can try!? Check out what local events happen in your area maybe book clubs or cooking classes might give you the chance to meet some new friends.

As all the girls have said everyone on here is really lovely and are always here for you.
Xxxx

 

[sexysmurf]

i know how you feel. 7 months ago i walked out on my ex husband and after a long battle finally got custody of my daughter( he lied in court) his new girlfriend has moved in with her son, and now he doesnt want anything to do with his daughter. I moved miles away from manchester to southport, leaving family and friends, and now have to start again. My new partner is totally wonderful, and yes we have only been together 7 months and im nearly 2 months pregnant but im finally happy, if you ever need more friends we are all here for you xxx

 

[babyfever]

Tambo you are only 35! that is by far not too late to have another! I'm sorry you haven't a friend to confide in hun but the ladies here are all great! I'm sorry about the ex sitiuation, I am divorced and my ex has has 2 more children in past 5 years! We haven't been ttc very long but it just seems like a lifetime and that is why I love this forum and the gals here! I hope you feel better sweetie! and lots of baby dust to you!

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi hun,

Although I live close to my family and friends I have kept my TTC journey to myself.

Only a few people know about our 2nd and 3rd miscarriage and the fact we had tests / were under care of recurrent miscarriage clinic...

My choice I know, but it still made the whole process very isolating and lonely... Thank God for this place!

Meeting people locally will happen hun - do you have any hobbies? Any classes you wish to take?

xxxxxxxx

 

[tambo1976]

Thanks again everyone for your advice and support !! Reading your comments has really cheered me up!!

@ Carnat... Joining a gym or excercise class is something I have seriously considered tbh, but I just feel like such a fool going on my own. Im not the most outgoing person and walking into a room full of groups of women who are obviously friends just seems so daunting! I think I would go as red as a tomato lol.

@Babyfever... I know 35 isnt to old but I think I kinda "feel" to old as my eldest will be 19 this year and I am terrified he will make me a Nan before I have another child lol... I think its just because of my other kids ages that I genuinely feel like a proper Granny haha

I went to the Doctor this morning to express my concerns over my age etc and she said I am far from past it, which was really nice to hear!. She is going to send me for a progesterone test in 20 days just to make sure all is in order. I kinda feel its a bit to soon as we have only been ttc for 2 cycles! but she sort of insisted so I just went with the flow.

The Doctor also told me that I wont be considered for ivf as I already have 3 children, I was like "Hold your horses luv!!! Ive only been ttc for 2 months" lmao. Ivf hasn't entered my head!

Oh well I'd better get me some riding boots because Im trying the smep this month Yeeeehaaaaa

Lots of babydust to you all! xxx