i'm heartbroken-sort of updated :-/

[fran_23]

deleted

 

[fran_23]

anyone?? all my friends are at glasto so i can't even get anyone to come round and have a chat! i never thought i'd feel like this again- i should have never got back with him

 

[beanie]

oh hun, I am so sorry to read this I don't know the background between you guys but you can't sit around waiting for him to decide what he wants, its not fair on you or Hayden. Perhaps give it a few days to see if he gets back in touch but also try and get on with your life, I know that is not easy but it will help you in the long run no matter what he decides, and he will also see that you are an independant woman who doesn't need him but would want to be with him iykwim. Massive hugs hun, I hope you are ok.

 

[SarahH]

Oh hun I am so so sorry!! I really hope the pair of you can sort something out.

Can anyone watch Hayden so that the pair of you can talk properly?

 

[fran_23]

thank you hun true its not fair on me to sit around waiting for him to decide what he wants, tomorrow i'm gonna take Hayden to the park and then to see my nan..then i guess just take one day at a time trying to keep busy, i just don't know how to function normally when all i keep thinking about is how me and him won't be together anymore and my little family is destroyed..i must have been a crap girlfriend and who the hell else is ever gonna want me now? not that i want anyone else.

agh its just so hard i better try and get some sleep somehow, or i'll defo be good for nothing tomorrow. life sucks

 

[fran_23]

Oh hun I am so so sorry!! I really hope the pair of you can sort something out.

Can anyone watch Hayden so that the pair of you can talk properly?

my mum took hayden earlier so i could try and sleep as i'd been up all night crying- but he doesnt want to talk he said he needs some space to think about what he wants..which is selfish really while i'm just in limbo but i guess he doesnt know what he wants...

 

[SarahH]

 

[beanie]

thank you hun true its not fair on me to sit around waiting for him to decide what he wants, tomorrow i'm gonna take Hayden to the park and then to see my nan..then i guess just take one day at a time trying to keep busy, i just don't know how to function normally when all i keep thinking about is how me and him won't be together anymore and my little family is destroyed..i must have been a crap girlfriend and who the hell else is ever gonna want me now? not that i want anyone else.

agh its just so hard i better try and get some sleep somehow, or i'll defo be good for nothing tomorrow. life sucks

that is crap and in time you will see it. You are an amazing girl and he will one day regret losing you! Take care hun, hope you get some sleep tonight

 

[Flame]

I dont really know the history between you but if the person i had just split up with called me dude! when i had just poured my heart out to him i think i would take his heart out with a knife!

But if that is how you normally spoke to each other then i would say the fact he is saying see how it lies in a few weeks is a cop out for "not getting back together".

It is heartbreaking right now but you will be fine, you have your baby to think about so try and focus all your love and energy on him and try to forget about this person who doesnt deserve your love and commitment.

 

[MrsBrightside]

I so feel for you hunni, the best advice I can give you is try and take each day as it comes.. sending you lots of love darling

 

[1sttimemum]

i hope he sees sense and comes back to you for good/

 

[LisaJ1986]

I am so sorry. It just sounds like he needs some time to himself. But don't sit and wait for him!
Just spend some time focusing on yourself and your LO. I know it sounds so hard. And it really is, but it gets easier. Then when he's ready you can talk calmly about things. It'll give you time to sort your head out too.

 

[zebrastripes]

everyone else is right, sitting around and brooding will do you no favours maybe this is what you need, a few weeks apart to think things over and give your relationship a fresh start- just try to keep positive for Hayden and yourself- you haven't been a crap girlfriend, this is just one of those things...hope you get it sorted

 

[lfc_sarah]

Aw babe
I really dont know what to say!
I cant imagine going through that much pain, ive never been there

Just try your hardest to get over it although its probaly really hard

 

[Penstraze]

Im sorry your going through this its tough and even worse that theres no finality you don't know if its definately over so you cant try and grieve and get over the end of the relationship as you dont know if this is the end! Its easier said then done but try and look on the positives its not definately over for good from what I can gather from just reading the messages he still cares for you alot but feels sufocated (sp) right now and needs space to sort his head out, its really difficult to do but you really need to give him this space if your relationship stands a chance of being rebuilt keeping messaging him etc will only make him feel worse not beter and could push him away!

When DH and I were going through a bad patch a few years back all I wanted was some space to get back in touch with me and work out what I wanted as I felt like I'd lost my sense of self and my identity and was just unhappy all the time my DH couldn't give me the space I needed because he was so scared that if I were to be away from him that would be it we would be over to cut a long story short we ended up spliting up it was all very messy everyone especially him got hurt and I made alot of mistakes but 6 months down the line we were able to become friends and discover each other again and why we had loved each other before all the fighting and hard times I had learn't alot about myself and us in the time we were appart and eventually we were able to re-build our relationship which is stronger now then ever! If he had been able to give me the space I needed and asked for originally perhaps we could have avoided some of the heart break we had to go through to get here

 

[fran_23]

thank you for all your replies...pestraze that was helpful thank
you for sharing that, good to get a view from the otherside of things!
and thats kinda what i've been thinking..i'm just going to take it that its final and over... leave him alone completely and if he misses me and wants to work things out then fine..if not i'll just have a headstart on getting on with my life! its very hard but my little man is giving me the strength to just get on with things and not sit here pining for him.

thanks everyone this is gonna be a long few weeks for me so apologies in advance for whinges sure to follow

 

[Daggers]

oh dear Fran, this has been an up and down relationship for awhile now hasn't it?
Personally I always think (I know it sounds naff) 'if you love someone then set them free', if they love you back then they'll come back to you. Think it's time you let your OH go, let him think things out. You've been here before and you got through it then, life does go on and he's not the one then you WILL find the right person for you one day.

Take care hun,
Dxxx

 

[fran_23]

oh dear Fran, this has been an up and down relationship for awhile now hasn't it?
Personally I always think (I know it sounds naff) 'if you love someone then set them free', if they love you back then they'll come back to you. Think it's time you let your OH go, let him think things out. You've been here before and you got through it then, life does go on and he's not the one then you WILL find the right person for you one day.

Take care hun,
Dxxx

yes you are right- i said that quote to danni last week and i believe it to be true for myself- its just so much harder when applying to yourself!
you are right we have been up and down, i don't think i had fully recovered from last time we split and he went out with another girl for a month. I was constantly jealous and controlling to him and he was understanding for ages but i think it wore him down constantly having to reassure me that he wasn't going to do it again. when we are good we are fantastic but more often that not stuff from the past ruins it for me. It's time to let go as much as it kills me. I just hope i stop hurting soon..how can something be right when it hurts so much and feels so wrong???

 

[reallyoldmum]

Fran my gran once told me the man worth your tears will never make you cry - be gentle with yourself and take care x x x x

 

[Daggers]

Hi hope your feeling a bit better now, you know if you can't let the past lie - forgive but it's okay to remember (that's what my OH says) then maybe it's not worth continuing cause like you said it will just eat you up inside and you will constantly bring it up everytime something annoys you and that not fair, if you've already addressed the matter then but it to bed!
I know it's not easy but if you want your relationship to work then you really need to work on this.
Take care hun, and hope things start to look up for you.
Dx