I want to give up **UPDATED**

[Jade&Evie]

I want to give up BFing. I'm in pain because my nipples are so cracked and I dread her needing feeding- which is just the cr*ppiest feeling in the world.

I know it's best for her- I tried expressing and feeding her from the bottle but I only want her to have expressed milk if we are out- not when it's possible to feed her at home.

I feel so selfish- the only thing that hasn't stopped me going and getting formula over the weekend is the fact that BFing burns calories and it's doing the same as what I would be at the gym. I don't want to feel so selfish- I want to enjoy feeding my baby and look forward to 'Mummy and Evie Time'

Sorry, Had to get it off my chest. I know it should get better and I know I don't REALLY want to put her on formula. OH doesn't understnad what I'm talking about- he just wants me to be happy and he can see that at the moment I am in agony!

**UPDATE**

7am yesterday morning I went to Tesco and bought some formula. Evie took her next 3 feeds from a bottle and it nearly tore my heart out. I felt utterly useless. I tried to feed her a about 10pm but she wouldn't latch on and it was hurting so much I was in tears; so we gave her formula which she gulped down and then fell asleep. When she woke up at 3am I decided I was going to try again and after 30 minutes of crying and me wincing we finally got there. This morning I managed to feed her again- and it wasn't as painful as it has been. I've decided to give boob another go- if I'm tough enough to squeeze a baby out with no pain relief I can bloody well breastfeed!

I keep reminding myself that she's well worth the pain... I don't want to give up and I think that's the main thing. I want to be able to feed her myself- not just for my body's sake but for US. Watching my OH feed her was nice in a way but I couldn't help thinking he was taking my role away from me.

 

[LilysMummy]

DO what you feel is right for you and Evie.If you can stick it go for it but if you switch dont feel guilty. I changed to formula I was in constant pain (no one told me it was completeley normal) I had bleeding nipples and I was crying when ever she was awake dreading her next feed. I was purple on my boobs the worst the MW had seen. I switched to formula and the relief was instant. I know its not breastmilk but its not poison. I expressed all my colostrum so I know she had the goodness of that. She isnt a hungry baby but her suck in phenominal she can near enough pull the teat off the bottle

Hope you decide whats right for you

PM me if you want to

 

[happy-chick]

Your doing so well chick, if you feel you cant do it anymore then dont feel guilty thats your choice and you need to enjoy Evie not feel so upset.As mids said this time is the hardest and if you can get past this part then you'll be fine, I really really struggled at first and nearly gave up so many times but I didnt and it was so hard but now i look back and i so pleased i didnt and proud of myself. Good Luck with whatever you decide im sure you'll make the right decision hun.

 

[nancy]

You've done really well to get this far and you've got to do what's best for you and your baby but it really does get better, I promise.
Get yourself some Lasinoh either from your midwife in sachets or a tube from Boots or Mothercare etc. It really does work wonders, it sorted my sore nipples out straight away with both of mine. I was ready to give up breast feeding my son when my midwife gave me a couple of sachets, I went on to feed him for nearly a year. This time I asked for some as my nipples were starting to feel sore and I only needed to use it once!!! It really is miracle cream for boobies!
I really hope it gets better for you soon as it sounds to me like you really want to carry on deep down inside. x

 

[weenik]

You need to do what's right for you & Evie - Bf'ing will get easier if you stick at it......no-one told me how much hard work it was going to be and there were times I thought I couldn't do it either. I never really got sore nipples or anything though so I'm lucky that way. Whatever you decide, be happy that you're doing the best for both of you. Remember that they don't stay tiny babies for very long so you want to enjoy every minute xx

 

[Jade&Evie]

Thanks Girls.

I spoke to my midwife about it this morning and she said I'm doing fantastic- for a first time mum apparantly I seem like a natural. (I was like this inside: ) She said the same as you lot- that in a couple of weeks I won't feel half as bad. We are going with the theory that as I'm not due for another 4 days I can at least bear it until then because it's only replaced the aches nd pains of pregnancy!

I've got some lasinoh- it's not really helping though so I am going to try nipple shields.

My OH is back to work on Thursday and Friday but he's taken next week off as holiday. He's being fantastic- he knows how much I want to feed her myself so he's going to spend the week helping me out so I can just concentrate on getting past the worst bit.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Good for you! if possible get your nips out in the sun too as it will toughen them up a bit as well - i read this in pregnancy mag!

Your doing great just keep going!

 

[Bloom]

Hang on in there Jade it does get better the first 2 weeks are the hardest i would try nipple shields i found they were great just to give your nips a break for a while and the Lasinoh stuff. When you have finished a feed rub some of the breast milk into your nipples it help them heal.

I have been so close to giving up bit im glad i stuck at it and got past the first 2 weeks set yourself small targets im aiming for 1 month now and take it 1 week at a time.

If you really dont feel you can carry on then like others have said dont feel guilty for it you need to be enjoying being a mummy.

 

[Squiglet]

Hun you are doing great... It is soooo painful bfing.. and for something that should be natural getting it established is so hard.

I can't imagine NOT bfing now... and having the hassle of preparing bottles and formula and sterilising.. and I absolutely love having lil miss cuddle up to me and nuzzle me for boob... it makes me feel loved and special because only I can give her that comfort.

Not that it wasn't hard and still is in a way... and it hurt even though this is my second time... it just takes a while... but it has emotional benefits that vastly outweigh the physical discomfort.

I didn't realise just how special bfing was and how much I missed it with Tia until I had Serena.

but as LilysMummy said.. don't feel guilty if you have to switch to formula... A happy mummy makes a happy baby, but then thats another reason to plod on with the bfing...Forget about whats "best" for your baby in terms of type of milk... it may make you miserable right now, but you will miss the closeness and uniqueness you share with your LO if you quit...

I continued with Tia because I knew it would help me loose weight, and it was the best selfish thing I have ever done...

 

[muppetmummy]

I think you're at the point now where it won't be long until the pain goes away. I'm at the stage now where it doesnt hurt much anymore.
I agree that going around the house topless and rubbing milk onto your nips after a feed helps.
If you do go onto formula don't feel bad it wont harm Evie.
Having bottle fed James since a week old though I have to say in the long run bottle feeding is such a pain in the long term, I hated having to wash bottles and make sure I had enough feeds made up in the fridge. Its also a pain finding somewhere to heat milk when you're out and about

 

[purple13]

everyone has given top advice hon - it really is up to you as to whether you can cope with persevering... formula isn't poison, and a happy mummy is a happy baby. but like muppetmummy says, preparing bottles is a lot more faff than boobie-feeding!
breast feeding really is one of the hardest things i've ever had to do and i've posted on here quite a few times about all the problems i had. but connor's 2 months now and i've grown to really love feeding him and i'm so glad i stuck with it. nipple shields were my saviour
good luck xxx

 

[clarey]

Everyone else has already given fab advice, so just hang in there !

Its so hard but its sounds like you have a very supportive OH which will help loads, I think everyone feels exactly the same at this stage but I have been so glad I stuck it out, as Squig said, its kinda nice having that unique closeness that BFing gives you. Good luck hun

 

[Jade&Evie]

Thanks Girls. Have updated in the first post

 

[LilysMummy]

Which makes you happy hun If you can carry on breastfeeding then go for it hun but dont shoot yourself if you have to switch to formula

 

[Rosieroo]

Your winning jade it might not seem it but you are ..the latching on is the hardest part for most you got that far and the pain does go I promise ..

If you do switch you have done really well but like you say you pushed a baby out you can put up with this a lil longer ...I guarantee you quit you will miss it like crazy!! ...chin up hang tough ...not much more pain a couple more weeks of constant feeding and you will be soooo happy.

Your so close to it all getting better hun xxxxxxx

Agree with Midna, hang on in there girlie you're getting through the toughest stage