
I want to give up BFing. I'm in pain because my nipples are so cracked and I dread her needing feeding- which is just the cr*ppiest feeling in the world.
I know it's best for her- I tried expressing and feeding her from the bottle but I only want her to have expressed milk if we are out- not when it's possible to feed her at home.
I feel so selfish- the only thing that hasn't stopped me going and getting formula over the weekend is the fact that BFing burns calories and it's doing the same as what I would be at the gym.

Sorry, Had to get it off my chest. I know it should get better and I know I don't REALLY want to put her on formula. OH doesn't understnad what I'm talking about- he just wants me to be happy and he can see that at the moment I am in agony!

**UPDATE**
7am yesterday morning I went to Tesco and bought some formula. Evie took her next 3 feeds from a bottle and it nearly tore my heart out. I felt utterly useless. I tried to feed her a about 10pm but she wouldn't latch on and it was hurting so much I was in tears; so we gave her formula which she gulped down and then fell asleep. When she woke up at 3am I decided I was going to try again and after 30 minutes of crying and me wincing we finally got there. This morning I managed to feed her again- and it wasn't as painful as it has been. I've decided to give boob another go- if I'm tough enough to squeeze a baby out with no pain relief I can bloody well breastfeed!

I keep reminding myself that she's well worth the pain... I don't want to give up and I think that's the main thing. I want to be able to feed her myself- not just for my body's sake but for US. Watching my OH feed her was nice in a way but I couldn't help thinking he was taking my role away from me.