i think my friend is dissapointed in me?

[teampc]

Ok this is probably going to all sound a bit odd ....but lol


My best friend has turned strange recently (its been getting worse since I got married i think), the way she acts and the things she says have turned odd, i have been noticing it more and more recently and Im beginning to think she is unhappy with the way I do things and how i am

Im not bothered by it, im just finding it a bit odd really, and wondered if anyone else is experiencing similar things with their friends?

She is a single mum with a 6 year old boy and he is her life

When she had him she wouldnt let anyone do anything with him (she barely even let his dad do anything) and I think he was almost a year old the first time she left him with someone else and that was me and it was for about 5 minutes.

Anywho as my pregnancy has gone on she has been making comments about things and asking me questions, and my responses always seem to bother her

for instance, we had a 3d scan last week, before i went she was totally against it, couldnt understand why I would do it etc, then when she saw the photos she asked if i cried...I said no, it was lovely to see my baby but Im not the type to cry at stuff like that....she was shocked and amazed, it was like cus i didnt cry I must not care as much or something

she then asked if i cried at the other scans....nope...again not a good reaction

she was near enough shouting at me the other day about bringing my pram home, I said I dont believe any of that stuff and Ill happily bring it home (as it happens its at my mums house as I havent finished clearing out space for it yet lol) this went down very badly, it was as if Id just said when the baby comes Im going to throw it around

She keeps making comments about when baby is here and how will I do things etc, and as a lot of my opinions on these things are different to hers I get glared at

Ill admit im finding it quite amusing for the most part, but just seems odd that shes being like it

Oh and one of our other friends has recently had her baby and I am constantly being tld about all the things she is doing 'wrong' which is the one thing that is annoying me as I am convinced the same things will be said about me

 

[cherelle]

Sounds to me like the green eyed monster! Maybe shes sad that shes not in a position to have another baby and so shes taking it out on others because shes jealous.

If it was me i would gently say something to her just to let her know shes overstepping the mark a bit and making you feel a bit awkward x

 

[leibiloo87]

She sounds a bit over the top to me, we all do things differently that doesnt make it wrong, I didnt cry at scans either allthough my hubby cried enough for both of us lol!! and iv had my pram up in the house since it was delivered at 22 weeks I wanted to play with it put it back in the box now but was nice to see it all up im not a bog beliver in all the old wives tales I do what I want no matter what people think. Do you thing maybe you friend is very broody with her child been 6 she might really want another baby but curcumstances means she cant at the moment and shes just a bit jelous of ppl who are having babies? it can do crazy things to women! just ignore her for now im sure she will come around but if she does it when the baby is here id tell her to keep her opinions to herself xx

 

[leibiloo87]

Didnt see cherelles post until I had posted lol 2 great minds think alike!

 

[riotfox]

I haven't been in this situation as none of my friends are ready for babies yet. I don't think she is right to comment on how to do things as everybody does things differently and how it feels comfortable to them. Maybe it is jealousy like Cherelle said. xx

 

[teampc]

thanks girls

Im thinking ill carry on ignoring it for the most part, maybe drop in a careful comment here and there to try and make her see what she is being like


I am beginning to think she is going through a bit of an early mid life crisis, and is feeling a bit jealous about other people, i got married last march and then got pregnant, one of our other friends bought a house with her oh, another friend got married this march, and about 3 friends have had babies, and it does seem like every time something happens she has a little funny episode (we get lots of 'its alright for you your married with your own house and a baby on the way' type comments) she has also been going through men like crazy, like she is desperately trying to find one to settle down with to 'catch up'

If she keeps it up when the baby comes then I can see me having to have words with her, I have enough trouble with the mother in law without adding her new found craziness to the mix lol

 

[pinkymum]

This is so similar to an experience I had just after I fell pregnant its scary!
It does sound like she is very jealous! If it was me I'd ask her outright, you don't need to be nasty. Although I'd only ask her if I felt the friendship was worth it.
The person I was best friends with from the age of 2 became jealous that I was having a baby. Bearing in mind she has a 7 year old boy and is quite capable of getting pregnant again. Infact she was actively trying to trick her long term partner into falling pregnant!!!!! Anyway, we had pretty much been through some awful things together but it all kicked off before Christmas and I have since distanced myself from her. I used to see her 3 times a week, I've seen her 3 times since Christmas. I thought I would miss her but I don't, infact I feel a lot better. Im really just waiting for the friendship to fizzle out now.

That's just my experience though, some friendships are worth fighting for and some become stale and its time to move on
X

 

[teampc]

that sounds awful pinkymum, i dont think we will come to anything like that

I think she just needs a gentle nudge back to normality to be honest, I dont think she realises what she is suggesting half the time, its just getting a little tiresome at the moment


me and my friends are planning a girly night with a movie and dinner before the baby comes, so Im hoping us all being together like normal might show her that nothing has changed and we are all still the same even if we are all doing new things in our lives

 

[Cantstop]

I think she sounds like a knob! Like she knows best and her way is the right way and she a very fixed opinion of what's right and wrong, probably because as you say, she's clearly a bit odd with her own child. Obviously we should all love our kids but she sounds a bit OTT.

 

[teampc]

lol cantstop that made me giggle

she is very ott, and seems to think thats how everyone should be
she is very very protective of her little boy, to the point where he isnt really like little boy at all, he is too scared to climb trees or even ride his bike because of how scared she is about it
oh and a month or so ago she crashed her car (car written off due to value but she was fine) but she refused to tell him about it, instead she made up some ellaborate story about her day and said someone had bought the car ... now really what good can that do?


thing is i feel bad thinking about her badly and things, but the worse she gets the harder it is to pretend i think its normal

 

[wookie]

sounds like she needs to get a bit more of a life and let other people live theirs too..I hope I don't turn into a control freak with my kid !

 

[nmf1987]

before i read anyone elses responses i was thinking jealous cow sort your life out. sorry harsh i know.

she clearly is though. if she is like that then there is no wonder as to why you are all maried or having babies and she is a single mum.

when you treat your friends like that how are you going to treat a partner.

ignore her hun but if she carries on just tell her everyone is different and you will be bringing up your baby how you and oh see fit. xxx