i know this is jumping the gun a bit...

[HannahD]

...but have you ladies decided who'll be your birthing partner? I've been reading my pregnancy bible and it got me thinking the other day about who I want at the birth. Yes, I know, I'm not even 2 months yet but these things go through my head when i'm at work on my own and bored out of my mind!!
Is it bad that I don't actually think I want my husband with me? I don't know who I want instead tho and i'm a bit of a billy no mates now we've moved away so there's no one here I know well enough to have with me.


....personally, I don't even want to be there but I don't think i'm going to be able to get out of this one somehow

 

[Frog99]

I'm a complete billy no mates since we moved last year so I'm expecting my OH to come in with me - I shall me cursing him throughout I think.

How about your mum or a best mate going in with you or something? I guess if you don't live that close the actual getting there on the day might be complicated.

What is your pregnancy bible? I'm looking for an 'idiots guide' type book that will explain EXACTLY what's going on inside me and answers the multitude of questions i have - recommendations welcome!

 

[DaisieBee]

Hi, I knew from the beginning that I would want my mum with me. I am married and my hubby initially felt that he wasnt keen on being there as he is quite squeamish and also I think it would upset him to see me in so much pain which in turn would cause me further stress. However, since the scan hubby has began to feel that perhaps he would like to be there but has left the deicision to me, which I am still trying to decide.

I think if hubby wants to be there then he should be, I would never deny him the option. However, there is no pressure for him to be, either way my mum will be with me as personally, I want someone who knows me well and who has been through birth themselves. Also, like any child, when I feel ill I want my mum!!

 

[Snuggle]

I will be having hubby there, no doubt about it. It was so special sharing that time with him when Maddison was born and he says it was the most amazing thing he has ever witnessed

 

[HannahD]

Frog, my pregnancy bible is exactly that. It's called "Your Pregnancy Bible: The Expert's Guide to the Nine Months of Pregnancy and the First Weeks of Parenting" It's brilliant. It gives you a week by week guide to what's going on with your body and the development of your baby. Loads of hints and tips and information on everything you ever wanted to know. I'd highly recommend it....and it's cheap on Amazon!!

I think the main reason I don't want my hubby there is because of the total indignity of childbirth and the bodily functions that occur!!! I know that probably sounds so silly and the last thing that'll be on my mind at the time but I just don't really want him to witness that. I haven't discussed it with him so I don't know what he wants to do. My mum doesn't live too far away so I think i'll definitely ask her to be there.

 

[Tasha20]

My OH will definatly be there and hopefully my best friend, though we are due within a few days of each other!

I personaly feel that its important to have the father there at the birth, seeing their child born into the world and how much the person they love has through to do that is great for bonding.

They can not appreciate what a woman goes through, even when witnessing it, but supporting and apart of something very special can be very special for them.

I pooed abit in labour and OH still now has a litte laugh about it, but he dont care, neither do I, I couldnt give a damn at the time and at the end of the day he got to see his flesh and blood be born.

I think he would of been very upset if he hadnt of been there, nor appreciate the enormaty of childbirth

 

[louears]

I am having my man there, he wouldn't miss it for the world, it is our first baby. might ask my mum to come too, just depends if she can get there from work or not if she is working the day i go into labour, but i dont know yet, think it might be better just me and my man.

as for books, i bought a book called, your pregnancy week by week, it is a good book and i bought the blokes guide to pregnancy for my bloke, that is a really good book

 

[Sweetpea134]

My husband will be there

 

[Mama 2 Be]

I was filling out my section in my maternity notes the other day and was reading the birthing plan. Was talking to hubby who def wants to be there but will draw the line at cutting the cord!

Told him he can have the choice because after the baby is born he isn't drawing the line at anything!

I've got 'What to expect when you're expecting' which scares the living daylights out of me most times when I read it. It's like looking up a sprained ankle on the internet, by the end of it you'll be convinced you have a very rare skin condition and that your leg is going to have to be amputated! My sister gave me a great book, v.funny but I can't remember the name of it. It's basically a diary of a fictional woman during her pregnancy with the techinical bits thrown in for good measure. Will find out what its called and let you know.

Blokes guide to pregnancy for Papa 2 Be.

 

[Barbiexx]

My mum!

 

[Becc]

....personally, I don't even want to be there but I don't think i'm going to be able to get out of this one somehow

if only!!

I'm pretty much decided that I want just my OH there... I dunno... I just feel like it's our baby and only our baby and much as I love my mum and I know she's itching for me to ask her to be there I just would far rather it be only the two of us.

 

[Kittykins]

DH.

I used to be worried about all the bloody, yucky, undignified side of things, but in October he saw me have a m/c (and saw absolutely everything - it was after a D&C so I wasn't expecting the sac to suddenly come out on holiday) and then in November, he had to take me to A&E with a threatened m/c and saw the doctor give me an internal exam, bloody speculum and all. He's also sat through 3 transvaginal scans, all with bleeding.

I think if he can take all that stuff without flinching, blood and loss of dignity in a birth situation is hardly likely to bother him - and I feel so many people have now had a good look at my bits, I'm hardly going to be bothered by DH seeing his baby being born!

Besides, much as I love my mother, she'd be the last person I'd want in the room with me. SHe'd probably criticise the way I was pushing...

 

[HannahD]

Ok, so I felt a bit guilty about not wanting my DH there so I thought i'd ask him what he thought. This was his response:

"It's up to you sweetie, you're the one who's going to be p*ssing and sh*tting yourself so it's whether you want me there or not"

WHAT!!!!!! FFS!! ....don't know why I bothered to ask


....think i'll have my mum!

 

[louears]

Ok, so I felt a bit guilty about not wanting my DH there so I thought i'd ask him what he thought. This was his response:

"It's up to you sweetie, you're the one who's going to be p*ssing and sh*tting yourself so it's whether you want me there or not"

WHAT!!!!!! FFS!! ....don't know why I bothered to ask


....think i'll have my mum!

aww no, men eh?, i am terrified of my bowels letting go in front of people including my man but, oh well, he wants to be there and i want him there too.

 

[Mama 2 Be]

Sssssh! I haven't told Papa 2 Be about that possibility yet.

I honestly think he thinks I'll just pop into hospital have a little push and the baby will come out on a cloud of cotton wool without even breaking a sweat - oooooh is he in for a surprise!

My SIL mentioned about stiches the other day and I said something along the lines of 'oh yeah you had about 150 didn't you'. Papa 2 Be started laughing because he thought I was exagerating!

Clueless, the man is clueless!

 

[Snuggle]

One thing I want to say is, dont worry about the indignity of it all. If you poo you poo! I had a poo all over the hospital floor with several people in the room including hubby...I didnt even care as I was too busy concentrating on the contractions Hubby didnt care either, his only concern was helping me as much as he could. Its a personal choice who you have with you, I cant wait to share it all again with hubby

 

[Mama 2 Be]

Oh no! enough with the poo stories or I'll be too posh to push!

 

[Serendipity_]

My OH, without a doubt. I wouldn't even dream of choosing someone else over him and he assumed I'd have him there anyway. I need someone to spit at, pinch, punch etc.

 

[gems]

Last time before i went into labour I didn't really want anyone with me I just wanted to get on with it by myself. When it actually came down to it my OH and my mum were with me while I gave birth. When your actually in labour you don't really care whos there! This time will just be my OH as my mum will be looking after Jessy this time.

 

[Jade89]

With Aaliyah I had my OH and my Sister. (I poo'd and proud of it , No but really when your there you wont give a s***...LOL excuse the pun but imagine the labour pains and wanting to get the baby out on top of everything else...a little poo will go un noticed, I diddn't even realised id done it until I asked OH)

This time i'm going to have just OH if it's c-section and my OH and Mum if it's natural. (Hey I might even poo again, who knows )