I knew today was going to suck...

[LouiseB]

Where to start

Ok, the results - i knew they were bad, now they are much worse

Still only a 2ml sample that is too viscous, but here is a comparison of the rest of the results:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaFirst Test aaaaaaSecond Test
Total Conc.aaaaaaaaaaaaa5.6 mil/mlaaaaaa4 mil/ml
Normal Progressiveaaaaaa4.3%aaaaaaaaaa1%
Slow Progressiveaaaaaaaa13.5%aaaaaaaaa3%
Not Progressiveaaaaaaaaa28.6%aaaaaaaaa5%
Not Moving (dead)aaaaaaa53.5%aaaaaaaaa91%

Then there was the doctor

Clearly 35+ without children and she talked to me like i was a child. The conversation went something like this:
"We was thinking about going private"
"Oh, well these isn't any rush, you're only what - 29?"
"No, 25"
"Oh gosh! See no rush at all!"
"Well, hubby is 35 already..."
"Haha, he can go until he's 70!"
"Umm, biologically maybe but i don't want him to be 70 with a 5 year old child"

And then what was worse is that hubby then pointed out that i'm impatient so it was like it was both of the old fogies vs the child in the room that was apparently me

Plus she's an idiot. Talking to hubby about his "spermies being a little slow" and then she started talking like all we'd need is them to wash the sperm and concentrate them for us... it sounded like she was describing IUI, and i was like are you frickin kidding me?! Are you looking at a different set of results to me?!

I still needed my chlamydia doing so she wouldn't refer me but i couldn't have it done today because i had sex last night and... umm... gross.

The appointment they gave me at the desk was 21st!!! So i said no way, and now the doc is supposed to be doing it and it will be arranged for ASAP.

They also wanted to give hubby another test to check his testosterone so that another delay.

She said once we got the result sback that she'd refer me - i should be seen in 8 weeks on the Nhs or 2 weeks private... so i think i'm going to push for private.

I mean, i know i am young and impatient and maybe even a little irrational but all this waiting just takes over my life and it is so not worth it

Urgh! I feel so frustrated

 

[Piglet10]

hope ur ok hun, dont know what to say but didnt wanna read and run xxx

 

[Kezzamunster]

Same as Lisa hun, we all here for you
xxx

 

[Nurse 26]

aww hun, she sounds like a battleaxe to me

who is she to tell you when to have ivf??? grrr, Dr's can be so daft sometimes for suposidly intellegent people

If you have the money and want to go private i say push for it!!!

Hope your ok.

BIG HUGS!!

 

[MissJuly10]

Sorry to hear that Louise, I really have no helpful words at all, I can only offer you a hug.



Hope you're ok, like the others said, we're all here for you. x x

 

[LoopyLouize]

Aww so sorry Hun
What a useless doctor!!!!
Xx

 

[kizzibea]

Sorry to hear that hun.

I really hope everything comes together for you soon.

 

[BabyLover]

Well what gives her the right to say what she did....I am glad we have a caring GP, who understands...

As for the going private bit, it is quicker and better, but is it worth paying all that money, when you have the same done on the NHS but You have to wait a bit longer?? I know you said you are impatience, but what is a couple of week's versus a couple of thousands of pounds? At the end of the day it's your choice and you go with what you feel is right for you and your O/H.

I wish you all the luck in the world and my fingers are crossed for you

Donna xx

 

[LouiseB]

Thanks ladies

what is a couple of week's versus a couple of thousands of pounds?

Well, that is just the difference in timescale for the initial appointment. I need to phone up for the difference in starting treatment which can be anything around a couple of years on the Nhs.

The doctor commented that they manage to get people who are 39 rushed through before they hit the age limit so i might not be waiting that long for Nhs treatment to start... but that just made it sound to me that i might be even at a disadvantage if they are going to put the older ladies ahead of me in the queue because i have longer until i hit the age limit

I'm going to see if i can find out the timescale right now...

 

[BabyLover]

Well I know that for someone our age, because I am 25 years old as well....it all depends on where you live, how busy they are on the NHS and like you say how many people older than you that get rushed through, our referrel was quick, it was just the blood and sperm tests and waiting to see my normal GP that delayed it. We are awaiting treatment and I rang up the fertility centre yesterday and they said we will have a appointment, just after christmas to start the treatment. So from day one of going to the GP to getting our appointment ready for fertility treatment, I would say it's been a couple of months...aint that long.

I suppose it's worth getting a timescale, because a couple of thousand of pounds is a waste, if the treatment does not work, when you can have it on the NHS for the free and that leaves you maybe that money to spend on your Newborn baby, when you get your BFP!

I am here if you need a chat

Donna x

 

[LouiseB]

I am here if you need a chat

Donna x

I know you are thanks

I'm feeling utterly confused now. I phoned CARE fertility and the lady said there is zero difference in Nhs and private treatment if you go to a clinic that does both - but there must be a difference, surely...? Hubby says that the Nhs advertised CARE so maybe they have a mutual agreement of some sort.

The money won't really be out of our pockets because hubby's parents will pay and they are wadded

Now i've contacted Nuffield to see what they say about it.

We're in roughly the same area Donna in terms of where the main cities are, which clinic have you been referred to?

 

[Olive]

Hey mrs,

Thinking of you. Have msgd you Let me at this woman!

Re no difference between treatment, I think (but am possibly wrong) that the treatment will be the same, it's just the timescales that are different between private and nhs, and the surroundings. I had a lump last year and went private (just because my mum had cancer at 39 and was worrying). I kept my initial NHS appt, which was about 8 weeks, but private appt was literally a few days. It was exactly the same doctor though at both. I went to the NHS appt to get it removed once they found out it was benign and was the same guy I saw. Also my Dad was going to go to Nuffield when had heart attack, but the hospital said same doc and best not to move him. Prob not what you meant at all, but just incase. xxxx

Sometimes I wonder if Doctors can empathise at all and be personal. They can be so inconsiderate and clinical. Surely a massive part of their job should be to be caring and actually listen!

xxxxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Just read this hun and wanted to sent you big x x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[BabyLover]

I am here if you need a chat

Donna x

I know you are thanks

I'm feeling utterly confused now. I phoned CARE fertility and the lady said there is zero difference in Nhs and private treatment if you go to a clinic that does both - but there must be a difference, surely...? Hubby says that the Nhs advertised CARE so maybe they have a mutual agreement of some sort.

The money won't really be out of our pockets because hubby's parents will pay and they are wadded

Now i've contacted Nuffield to see what they say about it.

We're in roughly the same area Donna in terms of where the main cities are, which clinic have you been referred to?

I have been referred to Kingsmill, in Mansfield, nottinghamshire. I had the option to go there or Chesterfield, but with the weather like this etc...I stuck to the closer one which is Kingsmill and my GP has said the doctor she has referred me to see at the fertility centre, is one of the best ones in the area and a very nice person.

The difference between Private and NHS, is not really a difference it's just you get better care in private, like your own room and meals etc...that bit extra of luxury...you always near enough see the same consultant as you would on the NHS. I don't think there's that much in time difference, if it's something serious LauraAnn has said you get in straight the way, because you are paying for that service, when it's private. but with situations like ours, it will be more or likely the same amount of time, because you still have to go through the testing etc... which is all time consuming. I have been private loads of times for minor op's and treatment (because my partner has private healthcare through is work) and there was difference, except for you seen the same consultant as did the NHS patients...I just got my own room and wasn't pushed to get out of the hospital lol

Like you say if you aint paying for it and someone is paying the bill, then go for it...

Do you know where you are being referred to? did she give you a possibility?

Donna x

 

[LouiseB]

Do you know where you are being referred to? did she give you a possibility?

The doctor she mentioned was a guy that i'm pretty sure is at The Derby Royal Hospital.

 

[BabyLover]

Derby Royal Hospital is a good hospital....I wish I lived closer to there or I would of gone there.

My friend worked there, she has now left and it is a good hospital

Donna x

 

[Bead]

Hi Louise
Really sorry to hear your news.

I'd say it's worth hanging in there for NHS treatment for 3 reasons:

1) From my experience at Nurture (QMC Nottingham), there really is no difference between NHS and Private (apart from not having a hefty bill at the end of course). We all sat in same waiting room, waited our turn, had treatment in the same rooms etc.

2) Odds are against IVF working first time, so make use of the freebie to limit the number of times you have to pay out.

3) It will give your OH time to implement the 'super sperm' tips It takes ~3 months for sperm to fully develop, so cutting out caffeine etc now won't reap the full rewards until Feb. You're then less likely to need ICSI, which gives your little embryos a better chance of developing normally.

Hang in there and try to stay positive. Our results were similar to yours (some a bit better, some a bit worse), but we managed to make a grade 1 perfect little embryo, so there's light at the end of the tunnel for us all.
Big hugs Xx

 

[LouiseB]

Thanks for the advice bead

I mentioned to hubby about the Nhs being the same and it actually seems to be him that is keen on having private. He is looking into hospitals, but i'm feeling a bit indifferent today. I think i'm getting over the horrible doctor app. and relaxing a bit more again.

Bead, did you get put right in for ICSI or did they try IUI and things on your first?

 

[Bead]

Because the first two sperm test results (one at GPs, one at fertility clinic) were so bad, they referred us straight to the IVF clinic. They said there would be no point trying IUI.
The IVF clinic did a 3rd test, and those results were actually worse, so they said we'd most likely need ICSI.

Then hey presto massive suprise on ICSI day
I bet if we started the whole process all over again, they'd try IUI first.
Xx