I hate breastfeeding :-(

bethanyann

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:-( I really, really wish I didn't, but I do. I expected it to be this amazing bonding experience that would make me and Eva super close and it would be really magical, and in reality now that I'm doing it - it's the only time I feel I'm NOT bonding with her. I just sit there the whole time thinking "please hurry up darling". Now don't get me wrong, I've bonded with her AMAZINGLY, I love her more than anything in the world, there is nothing else I love more than playing with her, holding her, kissing her, singing to her - I love every single second of the time I spend with her - except when she is feeding from me.

I feel so disapointed because ever since I've even thought of having children, all I ever wanted to do was bf. I've nothing at all against people who ff, but for me I've just always wanted to bf, and I so don't want to stop because I know it's what is best for my baby. I gave her a bottle of formula the other night because we were out, I don't feel comfortable to bf in public and I could only express 3oz. She only had 2oz of formula - then spent the whole night throwing up, and she is NEVER ever sick on my milk - we never even take muslins out with us because we know she won't be sick! That just made me put even more pressure on myself to bf, because how on earth could I stop feeding her and instead give her somthing that makes her sick??

Urgh, I don't even know why I'm writing this, think I just need to get it out of my system. I'm just so sick of the constant worry of if I have enough milk - the hours of feeding when I don't have enough for her, the pain of my nipples when she just starts nibbling because she can't get any milk out...I just can not wait to start weaning, and Eva's only 7 weeks so I've got a loonnnnng way to go! :-(

Sorry for the moan xxx
 
Don bear yourself up about it sweety. If you don't like it, try expressing more to build supply and that feunergreek stuff is mean to really help, and then maybe if you express more you'll feel like you've achieved it. Or try different formula. Some people just dont like breastfeeding it s absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Your her mummy and no matter how she's fed she will love you for it :) xxx
 
What breastpump are you using? First time round I tried the Avent manual one and could never express much, but this time I bought the electric Medela Swing and it was amazing, 6ozs in 5 mins.

I'd try again with some formula, use a different brand, its not meant to make babies sick all the time.
I've stuck it out 5 months, but only cause I enjoy it. If she starts to be fine on formula there is nothing wrong with switching. Don't feel guilty, you've already done a brilliant start and in my opinion it makes no difference when they're 5 years old racing round the playground.

x
 
I understand how you feel Hun. i do enjoy breastfeeding But my milk supply has been pretty rubbish so Tegan ends up screaming and feeding for hours on end. i started taking Fenugreek and its really helped. what formula did you use? Tegan wasn't gaining weight properly so the HV advised i gave her formula for her last feed i tried Aptamil But she brought it all back up i then tried sma gold and it stayed down fine Im not topping up anymore as my supply is better and so is her weight gain! x
 
Thanks girls! I use the tommee tippee manual pump. Some times I can get absolutely loads - some times I sit there for 15 minutes and just about have an oz. I jusy find it so frustrating because for a couple of days my supply will be great and I'll really relax and think we're on top of it, then suddenly the next day I'll have nothing and there is just no reason for it - I eat and drink the same and Eva eats the same, so I just don't get why it suddenly dries up - so stressful! I stupidly bought the tommee tippee electric pump without doing any research and it's utter crap! lol! But because I bought that we don't have much spare cash, if I know the medla swing will work, i'll def buy it - but is it really *that* good? If it is, I'll def invest! Also, the formula i gave was hipp organic (because it was the only organic one there - i'm so obsessed with organic food for me and hub, that i bought it purely because of that!) but i've just been and bought some sma gold to see if that's better if my supply runs dry again later xxx
 
i would def recommend the medela, amazon had it on offer on monday, they have the mini medela double electric on offer today, best get it quick.
 
Wow, you've written exactly how I feel! I haven't really admitted it to anybody, not even myself cos I felt bad thinking it, but I am the same. When she is feeding I am just waiting for her to finish, and the first time I gave her a bottle of expressed milk I felt really odd cos I loved feeding her with a bottle. I sometimes think I would like to just bottle feed with expressed milk, specially when my nipples are red raw!
My milk runs out when I haven't had enough sleep or if I'm feeling stressed, so a half hour nap does wonders for me :) x
 
I can relate to this too but mainly because I worry about how much Isla is actually getting and because she seems to feed all day long!

I also feel tempted at times to just express and give her bottles.
 
hun- i was told by so many people that babies food is that strictly made none is more organic than another? i used aptamil and found it amazin as i wasnt allowed to bf... hope u get sorted hun x
 
I have the medela swing, and I read as much as I could and could never find a bad review.
Like a complete donkey I drop it in my steraliser tub and it stopped working, and then my OH got my the tommy tippee manual which is fine, I was well overdue for feeding and got about 3 ozs out no probs, but it was so much easier with the medela. Its pumps fast to get the milk to going, and then as soon as its 'spraying' you press a button and it slows down. You can make it 'suck' stronger or weaker.
I honestly was dreading expressing this time round after last time it just never really happened for me, but the medela was a god send. Now Im happy for him to have formula if I go out, and I never really get full up and painful anymore I decided not to replace it, but next baby, thats first on my list.
Also, Austin has SMA hungry baby if I go out, and is fine on it.
x
 
I'm enjoying the experience of bf but what with the growth spurts and the fact that Lilly feeds every 2 hours all day and night, i'm finding it reaaaaly tough. We tried formula once when she was having a spurt and I was literaly to exausted to move and she spent the rest of the night throwing up. Apparently if you have a baby that has been exclusively breast fed and you switch to formula, the first few will make them sick and normally constipated apparently. Sometimes i'm so exausted that whenever she calls for food, I burst into tears and I wonder why the hell I do it.

Don't feel bad about trying or even switching to formula at all hun, she's your bab and you do what is right for you.

xxx
 
if you dont enjoy breastfeeding hun dont do it! i hated it with a passion every second of it. i used to dread j waking up cos i knew i would have to do it! dont be upset that you might have to go to formula jut try and introduce it slowly until she gets ued to it! dont be afraid of choppign and chnging formula as well!! but please dont worry about it!! x
 
Im the same, When she is feeding its just like "Ugh again? Please be quick.." And yet if i express in a bottle.. I have none of that! My problem is getting enough milk when expressing, I expressed on and off for 3 hours tonight, switching boobs when one stopped going.. And still only got an ounce and a half, And I had to hand express all of that, my pump just doesnt work on me anymore, i used to get LOADS with it! (tomee tipee manual)

With the problems ive been having with alanna, i think my supply is dropping anyway.. I really dont want to give her formula, but seriously considering it now.
 
Im the same, When she is feeding its just like "Ugh again? Please be quick.." And yet if i express in a bottle.. I have none of that! My problem is getting enough milk when expressing, I expressed on and off for 3 hours tonight, switching boobs when one stopped going.. And still only got an ounce and a half, And I had to hand express all of that, my pump just doesnt work on me anymore, i used to get LOADS with it! (tomee tipee manual)

With the problems ive been having with alanna, i think my supply is dropping anyway.. I really dont want to give her formula, but seriously considering it now.

Your body will only produce enough milk to feed baby so you will need to 'train' your body to make more by expressing a little everyday. Alternatively you could take Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle or Fennel Tea to increase supply.
I took Fenugreek and my supply shot up within 72 hours :)

It does get easier and they do feed less the older they get. Breastmilk is easier to digest than formula so they tend to feed a lot more anyway. :)
 
i had a period of time after a few weeks where i got so exhousted and i couldnt lay down n bf night time as for some funny reason it made me feel sick. ( like that i would litteraly be sick) But im so happy i continued and now i love it again! even nights feeds are easier now as Noa eats alot quicker so 15 min once a night is nothing.
BUT you have to do what works for you :hugs:
 
I've found a new position for bfing, where I sit Lizzie on my lap and she faces my boob so feeds upright. I can see her face better and I only need one hand to keep her latched on whereas before I needed both arms cos she's such a chunky monkey! She also takes herself off to burp! Just this little change has made bfing a nicer experience :)
 
Fantastic news! Really well done to you for keeping at it x
 
I've used a handful of breast pumps tommee tippee manual, advent manual, tommee tippee electric and I would say under alllllll circumstances avoid the tommee tippee manual i could get nothing out and had to hand express leaving me sore and down the advent is the next best and then the tt electric is great!! Xx

They reckon that aptimil is closest to bf - if you don't like it hunni don't do it baby will pick up on the bad vibes. There is even an aptimil for sick/colic babies for extra sensitive tummies xxx
 
Yeah if I move to formula it will be Aptamil.. Providing I can get it! I just moved to the middle east..
Ive been expressing a bit everyday to build up some more supply, and this morning hand expressed enough for a bottle.. But she wouldnt take the damn thing! Grrrr

And then threw an utter tantrum at being put on the other boob instead.. So I have a hungry baby sleeping in her moses basket..

I hate these tantrums. She does it before every feed, then by the time I get her latched on.. She is too tired to feed properly.. just gets foremilk.. and refuses to wake enough to finish the feed. So she isnt gaining weight proplery and im totally fed up. Wont take boob or bottle. What else can i do!? Lol
 
Maybe express your fore milk and stick her on for the hind milk?
 

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