I feel like a horrible person

[lisey27]

Hi,

I feel like a horrible person that I cried when I got off the phone to my very best friend (shes like a sister to me). She has just discovered that she is pregnant and I am so so happy for her, I have known she was trying and she even asked if I was ok with it all, and I have been but when I knew it was real, it made what happened to me surface again. I feel bad that I got upset, its so selfish of me . xx

 

[tinselcat]

Hi Lisey

You're not a bad person at all (and your friend sounds lovely too). It's a natural part of the grieving process to feel like that. (I think it took me 2 or 3 years to be able to handle people being pregnant around me).

Take care hun and hope you're alright

xx

 

[lisey27]

She is amazing, the best friend I could wish for, she even asked if i was ok when she told me. I am so truely happy for her but I guess it is the grieving process like you said. xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

No it's not selfish Hun and doesn't make you a bad person because you are happy for her. It is just a close reminder of what you are going through. If anything the fact you are happy for them is a strong sign of friendship and your kindness and genuine happiness from them. So if anything that makes you a GREAT person

Xx

 

[lisey27]

Awww thanks, thats lovely xxx

 

[kra0]

No not at all, it's understandable that you might feel a little strange about it - perfectly natural. How lovely of your friend to check you were ok about it though and for u to be happy for her I dread walking through the town these days as seeing pregnant ladies breaks my heart Its not that I'm jealous, I just know that could have been me! Xx

 

[dyscochick]

its not selfish to be happy her for sad for you. You were very selfless when you didn't show her those feelings. xx

 

[Geminiblue]

Ive been on both sides of this fence and bless your heart, youre going through enough please dont beat yourself up and youve every right to feel awful. I have lots of friends who are ttc generally, using fertility or have mc'd and its hard for them and I feel bad for them too but I understand that a pregnant lady can cause them pain as it did me when I mc'd years ago. Take care of yourself poppitt, your friend loves you xxx

 

[lisey27]

Thankyou so much for all your lovely words. Its nice to have you all for support, my OH doesnt really get it, he's great and supportive but his answer is "we will have one soon" but I still feel for the one we lost. Thanks again, you have all helped loads xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Our baby would have been due on 4th Jan and I have one friend due on 28th Dec and another due on 31st Dec.

I alternate between being OK with them and quite frankly feeling very angry (especially with friend due on NYE - it was an accidental pregnancy and her asswipe OH wanted her to have a termination to begin with )

I don't want to lose these friendships, but it's hard.

Both announced their pregnancies before me and I didn't tell them when I got a BFP. I also waited until after they had both had their 12 week scan to tell them about my M/C....

They have both (for the most part) been quite sensitive but when friend number 1 sent me a pic of her 20 week scan and told me it was a little boy, it just floored me. Luckily I was able to send a text (very fake - but very cheerful) and I didn't speak to her as I do not think I'd have been able to disguise how sad I felt. I wish she'd asked me before sending that pic... It took me a few days to get over that BUT I did get over it and still have the scan pic on my phone!

I am trying (every day) to be positive. I don't have my baby but I am thankful that those around me are having happy and healthy pregnancies. Just because this one didn't work out doesn't mean my time won't come?

It is a cliche but it takes time hun.

xxxxxxxxx

 

[netty]

thats not selfish hun not at all dont be daft, it will be like a knife in your heart whenever you hear or see anyone pregnant it is to be exptected

 

[lisey27]

Thanks so much for your messages and I am hopeful that we will all have our healthy pregnancies soon xx
I am the same, one minute ok and then feel quite low...I wish I could fast forward to when its not so painful anymore xx

 

[netty]

I am so up and down hunny it is normal and i know i will be like this for a while yet. We just have to be as positive as we can but it is so hard when someone has something you crave so so badly. My best friend is due in December and I havent seen her since my MC, pregnant women are my undoing rather than babies

 

[lisey27]

I'm the same lynette and there are pregnant women everywhere. The childrens centre that i work in has midwife appointments and baby clinics so I am surrounded daily. I just think that it may help me to deal with it all by being so exposed to pregnancy and babies. I hope it will be us soon xx

 

[dyscochick]

same here, last week almost everyday I heard about another pregnancy. some people had not told me cos of my mc and now it turns out they are due very close to my due date

 

[netty]

its so sad and it is bound to hurt you when you see or hear about other pregnancies but we will all be in tri1 soon. I am waiting for AF to come, been 4 weeks now since my MC so the witch should be on the way

 

[lisey27]

Its so hard isn't it xx

 

[netty]

yep, it has been and still is the hardest thing i have ever had to try and get over, and I beat a drug addiction 3 years ago. That was nothing compared to this