I don't have anyone else to talk to...

[mookie]

Sorry ladies this is going to be a really long post but I don't have anyone else to talk to.

I'm 9 weeks + 6 today with 'poppy' and I just feel really down. I've just had enough! I hate where we live, drug dealers around the corner etc. Before xmas OH decided we were going to move to the norfolk coast, nothing has been done. OH says he has to have a job set up first and I understand that but I'm just so tired! Being by the coast makes me happy and I so desperately want to be happy! I want to get away from both sets of parents!

I don't know how to feel any more, I'm just so stressed. This is all going to be a massive mess but I'm just goimg to blurt it out.

I'm under pressure to tell people I'm pregnant and thats making me angry! Only my mum and dad know but my sister (we aren't close) has started asking questions and mum didn't really say anything to discourage (sp?)
her, instead I was told it's not really fair to lie to her!! My cousin is also pregnant and has just announced she is 12weeks. My mum has again had a go and said I should have said something, she didn't tell me until 12 weeks so why should I have to tell anyone early? I don't want to steal her thunder either
I'm so tired and sick of all the stress. I have no friends and I can go weeks without seeing anyone (except OH).
OH parents cause big problems too! They insist on see ds every other sunday! The problem is they make a big fuss about seeing ds but when they are here they aren't bothered!! OH's dad reads the paper, his mum gives all her attention to the dog. I'm terrified what will happen when they find out I'm pregnant and what will happen after the birth. After ds was born MIL made my life hell, she disregarded everything I said to do or not do with ds, none of my requests were unreasonable. MIL triggered my anxiety and I've suffered ever since.
OH says and does nothing, he's too scared to tell his parents to butt out and do as we ask. OH also says MIL isn't to blame it's her depression, she plays on it and is very different when she is in a room on her own with me. I've said fine, you just tell her everytime she does something wrong, but he chickens out and claims he didn't see what happened or hear the comment. It has been the subject of many arguements and he blames my anxiety. If MIL behaved my anxiety would be ok. SIL doesn't get any crap like this (she hasn't got kids yet but she still wouldn't this treatment) she is the golden girl!!
OH hasnt even told his parents we are planning on moving!! He is too scared because his parents won't like it.
We are suppose to be going on a little holiday soon and it's just problem after problem!
MIL isn't very mentally or emotionally stable, she doesn't think about risks the same way as other people, i.e stepping out in front of a car with my son is ok because the car will stop!!!! I'm terrified she will put my son or 'poppy' in danger!
I feel like just picking up my things and disappearing with ds.
OH doesn't understand and I don't feel I can enjoy my pregnancy or buying things for the baby as I'm always worried about MIL or whats going to happen next. I just don't feel like I can do this any more.
I'm so sorry for the long post, but I just needed to get it out. After crying into my keyboard all morning I decided to get it all out.

Thank you for reading my post xxx

 

[EmmBee123]

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Sounds like a move and a fresh start may be just what you need.

 

[mookie]

It's what we really want, it's just so difficult trying to do it. Our house is shared ownership and if we sold it will make a loss or if we are really lucky we might break even. We thought about renting but the t&c's won't allow it.

Owning this house has been more trouble than it's been worth so we would go back into renting and might buy again later down the line. I just want to move I want to be somewhere new and be someone new, leave all the stresses behind and be the person and mummy I want to be. Hopefully make some friends too x

 

[Ems]

You sound like you need a hug!!

At the end of the day its your life, your babies and your OH! She may be the MIL, but that gives her no right to take over. I think if she is mentally/physically unwell that can have major impact on your sittuation and like you said - play up to it!

I think you need a break away with you OH to have time to discuss this and try and work out a way of dealing with your MIL. Dont get to stressed out hun...think about your health! xxx

 

[amandapanda]

Awww hun not sure what to say but my heart goes out to you!! I agree it is your life and your OH needs to do what is best for you as a family - and if a fresh start and move is what you want then go for it. AS you say, it's not as simple as that though - moving is very stressful at the best of times, let alone when you are pregnant! Also remember you will be very hormonal at the moment - so everything is hitting you harder and causing you more worry. I suffered terribly with my hormones in trimester 1, really felt like I couldn't cope and felt so anxious and paranoid all the time, but things did get better xxx

 

[Cantstop]

Gaah, your families both sound awful. And your OH needs to man up too! My heart really goes out to you as you clearly feel trapped and unhappy, it totally sucks. You really need your OH's support and for him to be with you on the moving and putting things into action - is he actively looking for work where you want to be? Can you put your house on the market now since the selling of it will probably be the key to moving and will take the longest time?

 

[mookie]

Thank you ladies xx

I said we needed to put the house on the market but once we had it valued OH just didn't do anything about it. I'm ashamed to say I don't really know much about things, I'm a lot better now. I would have sorted things with the agents but I don't always understand everything and didn't want to make a mistake. I had a very sheltered childhood, OH is older and has taught me all the stuff I should have already known.
OH is actively looking it's just unfortunately there aren't loads of jobs in the area. Things wouldn't be as bad but MIL has never been dealt with and she causes all the problems!! As OH's parents haven't seen ds for 3 weeks I now have to see them two sundays in a row!!!!!!!! OH only gets sundays off, so that means no time to spend with him!

I can't even enjoy things like mother's day or father's day with OH as MIL tells us she is coming over and last year I had planned a day out for OH for father's day and she phoned a few days before to say it was disgusting we didn't invite him over (they came for m's day and f's day the year before). Nothing was said to the precious daughter that didn't bother!! MIL cried and shouted and guilted us into it.
I just want to enjoy being a mummy and enjoy my family but I can't with MIL around!!! xxx