Hypnobirthing

[SugaryIris]

Hi ladies,

I want to try to make the birth as positive as possible as both my sisters had terrible births with their children and dh has an deep rooted fear of hospitals due to his childhood, so I’m not entirely sure how he will cope.

I’ve seen that you can get hypnobirthing apps, has anyone tried hypnobirthing and how did they get on? And are there any apps/audiobooks etc that you would recommend?

 

[Abi88]

I used the positive birth company and while I didn't have the perfect hypnobirth I had planned (induced due to reduced movement, in 1 position due to baby's heartbeat ended up with epidural) it really helped me keep calm. I spent 5 hours on the pitocin drip with just gas and air and had I been able to move around I really feel like I would have been able to just use hypnobirthing and gas and air. I know some people feel upset if their birth doesn't go to plan or feel like they 'failed' if they have to have pain relief but if you keep an open mind I think it's a really useful tool to have.

 

[MoominGirl]

I had the mindful hypnobirthing and the positive birth books. Both I would say are worth a read.

I didn't have the best labour experience on the back of an excellent pregnancy however much of this was due to unexpected complications on the day that no amount of hypnobirthing was going to solve! What I would say is that up until the problems started, I did find the techniques helpful and they did improve my attitude to labour in general which I guess helped when things didn't go to plan.

I totally agree with abi above and I think realistic expectations are important and the reality is that many first labours certainly don't go as expected and this is absolutely no reflection on you or even subsequent labours.

I would definitely suggest that you try and find the best way to approach your husband's fears. In my experience, dads get pretty much forgotten about during much of the pregnancy experience. Fair enough, they don't experience the physical side as such but their role is massive in terms of support to you and little one. It's a massive bug bear for me! You won't be able to focus fully on what you need to do if you're worried about him.

 

[SugaryIris]

I used the positive birth company and while I didn't have the perfect hypnobirth I had planned (induced due to reduced movement, in 1 position due to baby's heartbeat ended up with epidural) it really helped me keep calm. I spent 5 hours on the pitocin drip with just gas and air and had I been able to move around I really feel like I would have been able to just use hypnobirthing and gas and air. I know some people feel upset if their birth doesn't go to plan or feel like they 'failed' if they have to have pain relief but if you keep an open mind I think it's a really useful tool to have.

thanks hun, did you do the positive birth company online course or did you go to classes? I’m just trying to work out what would be best.

 

[SugaryIris]

Thanks ladies, I’m not going in with a firm birth plan, I don’t see how I can plan for something I have no experience of, i just want to do whatever feels best in the moment.

I’m not too worried about the actual birth, I figure that if it was that awful women wouldn’t keep doing it over and over again, but I am hoping that maybe some hypnobirthing could help make it less daunting at the time, I also hope that if dh can learn a few techniques with me, maybe it will keep him calmer. I might have my mum or someone on back up, I know he really wants to do it, but he’s got some trauma there and if it’s too much I’d rather have a back up so he can wait outside instead of me worrying about him as you say.

 

[Boymum90]

Hi,
I attended pregnancy yoga classes and elements of hypnobirthing was covered during that, I also read a hypnobirth book.
I found it incredibly helpful, in control and focused throughout. I've heard really positive things about the positive birth company online course. I hope you get the birth you hope for x

 

[SugaryIris]

Hi,
I attended pregnancy yoga classes and elements of hypnobirthing was covered during that, I also read a hypnobirth book.
I found it incredibly helpful, in control and focused throughout. I've heard really positive things about the positive birth company online course. I hope you get the birth you hope for x

thanks hun, I’m 2 days overdue and still feeling very calm about it at the moment

 

[Natalie8964]

I'm the same as you. I hate hearing about traumatic births, and feel like you never get to hear about the wonderful times or moments in birth. I'm only 17 weeks but think about it alot. I do yoga and find this is very relaxing and helps with movement, breathing and flexibility which are all super important in labour. I think all you ever see is ladies laid on their back in bed to give birth and while I understand things dont always go to plan, my own plan is to be as active as possible in labour and I want to give birth in a midwife led unit rather than hospital, could you look into that rather than hospital birth?

 

[WinterWolf]

I'm the same as you. I hate hearing about traumatic births, and feel like you never get to hear about the wonderful times or moments in birth. I'm only 17 weeks but think about it alot. I do yoga and find this is very relaxing and helps with movement, breathing and flexibility which are all super important in labour. I think all you ever see is ladies laid on their back in bed to give birth and while I understand things dont always go to plan, my own plan is to be as active as possible in labour and I want to give birth in a midwife led unit rather than hospital, could you look into that rather than hospital birth?

You don't hear about the amazing moments in birth because the only amazing moment is when you finally get to hold your baby. I can't think of any other part of birth that would be wonderful lol

 

[Kholl]

Hahaha winter wolf, i definitely felt that way the first time around! Births got better and better each time and I had a transcendent beautiful birth with baby 4. All my babies’ births were unmediated but that’s a lot to do with luck, too.

i recommend looking up « Natasha Hance » birth videos. Those got me in the done and excited like nothing else!

 

[Natalie8964]

You don't hear about the amazing moments in birth because the only amazing moment is when you finally get to hold your baby. I can't think of any other part of birth that would be wonderful lol

Lol I didnt mean there are loads of wonderful moments, clearly its hard. But there are alot of women who dont even mention the feelings they have when the baby is born! And I have heard very positive birth stories, so they can and do happen

 

[Kitana]

I'm the same as you. I hate hearing about traumatic births, and feel like you never get to hear about the wonderful times or moments in birth. I'm only 17 weeks but think about it alot. I do yoga and find this is very relaxing and helps with movement, breathing and flexibility which are all super important in labour. I think all you ever see is ladies laid on their back in bed to give birth and while I understand things dont always go to plan, my own plan is to be as active as possible in labour and I want to give birth in a midwife led unit rather than hospital, could you look into that rather than hospital birth?

I think you should go with what you want because giving birth in hospital does not give you any control. I hated giving birth in hospital. I was walking around and bouncing on my ball during the entire labour until I was started to feel the need to push. The midwife only came to check once every hour because they had thought I still had 4 hours or so to go. When she checked me and I was at 8cm she made me stay on the bed which I didn't mind but I didn't want to lay on my back. It was excruciating and I kept turning on my side to find some comfort, but the midwives and the gynaecologist's assistant kept turning me back on my back and holding me down with my legs spread in those stirrups. It's one of the reasons I was so happy with the birth of my DD2. I was at the birthing center having a tea and a sandwich with Nutella, chatting with the midwife when I was in labour! When the time came, much quicker than we thought, I gave birth in a bed, on my side. My oh actually grabbed his daughter from down there and laid her on my chest. It was a beautiful and positive experience compared to my hospital one!
As you are so busy with yoga and relaxation, you would do so well in a more relaxed environment instead of a clinical one hun!x

 

[Natalie8964]

I think you should go with what you want because giving birth in hospital does not give you any control. I hated giving birth in hospital. I was walking around and bouncing on my ball during the entire labour until I was started to feel the need to push. The midwife only came to check once every hour because they had thought I still had 4 hours or so to go. When she checked me and I was at 8cm she made me stay on the bed which I didn't mind but I didn't want to lay on my back. It was excruciating and I kept turning on my side to find some comfort, but the midwives and the gynaecologist's assistant kept turning me back on my back and holding me down with my legs spread in those stirrups. It's one of the reasons I was so happy with the birth of my DD2. I was at the birthing center having a tea and a sandwich with Nutella, chatting with the midwife when I was in labour! When the time came, much quicker than we thought, I gave birth in a bed, on my side. My oh actually grabbed his daughter from down there and laid her on my chest. It was a beautiful and positive experience compared to my hospital one!
As you are so busy with yoga and relaxation, you would do so well in a more relaxed environment instead of a clinical one hun!x

I absolutely love this. I agree, I hate hospital environments and obviously if I needed to I would have the baby in hospital, safety is primary concern. But I'd love to go to a midwife led unit if I was lucky enough. I've done some research on it already and you're less likely to need interventions such as forceps etc when giving birth in this type of environment as it's much more relaxed and they let you labour however you want to. The one in my location is actually attached to the main hospital which is reassuring should anything go wrong. Women are not supposed to labour on their backs with legs in stirrups, your pelvis opens up to 30% more when you are not laid on your back! X

 

[Kitana]

I absolutely love this. I agree, I hate hospital environments and obviously if I needed to I would have the baby in hospital, safety is primary concern. But I'd love to go to a midwife led unit if I was lucky enough. I've done some research on it already and you're less likely to need interventions such as forceps etc when giving birth in this type of environment as it's much more relaxed and they let you labour however you want to. The one in my location is actually attached to the main hospital which is reassuring should anything go wrong. Women are not supposed to labour on their backs with legs in stirrups, your pelvis opens up to 30% more when you are not laid on your back! X

I would definitely recommend doing it there hun! And if a problem arises, the hospital is right next door!
How does your husband react to this?
My oh was against it because he wanted to minimise the risk, but after what happened, I think he was happy that we never made it to hospital.x

 

[WinterWolf]

I have never heard of a hospital that won't let you walk around in labour or give birth in whatever position you want... Unless you have to be induced or something, in which case you wouldn't be allowed in the midwife unit anyway. It's common knowledge you're better off moving around and not laying on your back. They don't strap you down and make you lie on a bed unless there's a need to get baby out urgently.

 

[Natalie8964]

I have never heard of a hospital that won't let you walk around in labour or give birth in whatever position you want... Unless you have to be induced or something, in which case you wouldn't be allowed in the midwife unit anyway. It's common knowledge you're better off moving around and not laying on your back. They don't strap you down and make you lie on a bed unless there's a need to get baby out urgently.

I was more referencing what Kitana said about her first first experience being made to lie on her back when she didnt want to. I know they dont usually force you to lie in bed but I mean that in midwife led you're less likely to need interventions, the environment is less clinical, you can tailor it more to what you want out of your labour. A lot of women seem to end up labouring on the bed in hospital but certainly not all! Midwife led or home birth is great if you're low risk for a successful natural birth looking at statistics.. and of course everyone is different and want/need different things in labour

 

[SockVortex]

We've picked the midwife unit too as ours is also attached to the hospital so I'd feel perfectly safe having doctors just down the hall in case anything went wrong

 

[Kitana]

@WinterWolf I gave birth in the same hospital where my oh was born too, he really wanted me to have the baby there plus a friend of his had given birth there too and was raving about the experience. But I wanted it all to be a lot more natural and thought the hospital was anything but. To be fair, in Belgium, if you give birth in hospital, it's with a gynaecologist, and they only follow the textbooks. I had even asked the gynaecologist months before if I could give birth laying on my side since I had such debilitating SPD but she said no, only in the stirrups on your back. She even laughed saying I'll be in so much pain anyways that I won't feel the SPD anymore.
Anyways, when my water broke, I didn't have my usual gynaecologist since she was on holiday and the grumpy old man who replaced her told the midwives to induce me 3 hours after I arrived despite having regular contractions. I only saw him for the first time 7 hours later, and only then was I checked how dilated I was. Such negligence. I was the only one in labour at that time too. And when the time came to deliver the baby, the midwives who were terrified of him, didn't dare to deliver the baby themselves. They tried to contact him but he didn't answer his phone since he was annoyed I refused to be induced. Eventually they got hold of his assistant, who was not even on duty, to deliver my daughter.
That was not the most pleasant experience! And that's only a fraction of the story. I did not want to give birth in hospital again lol. It's a personal preference and in no way how everyone's experience is! I just didn't like mine lol!x

 

[WinterWolf]

@Kitana That's awful and very old school! I had to be in stirrups but that was because they were worried about baby's heartrate and they couldn't get it on the monitors unless I was laying down.. Annoying but we got there in the end.

@Natalie8964 Midwives are the ones who deliver in the UK hospitals though, so you should have all the same choices etc. regardless of where you go.

 

[chattychar1990]

@SugaryIris - which app did you end up using for your hypnobirthing? Xx