How will you and your OH work out money?

[positivity :)]

We do what princess does - we have our own accounts we get paid into then we have standing orders that go to a joint account where bills come out from. The difficulty with us is I earn more than him :/ I'm having to be a lot more careful (which is hard for me!) as I have a lot more outgoings than him. I'm hopin to reduce those before bubba arrives.

It is a big worry we have as I'm not see whats gonna happen when all I get is stat maternity pay. I keep wanting to bury my head in the sand but I know that wont get us anywhere!

For a start, we both contribute to a savings account who h we will use to buy baby bits as and when we need them (luckily family are buying the big bits for us) so we will try to use as little of that as possible so we have somethin to live off. It's really hard!

it is really hard isn't it. i think that now its all getting closer we have to start thinking about it. my OH earns a lot more than me and will be opening an account to pay for the baby for the next year, so money for anything baby needs such as clothes, paying for me to take him swimming or to mummy and baby clubs etc. which is great and i know i'm lucky to have that. i feel that in a way he is kind of forgetting about me. he wants to get this expensive car for himself which he can afford, the money for the baby is covered which is great and he is putting aside money to cover my bills when im not paid but i just dont know how i'm going to live, it kind of hurts to think everything my baby has will be bought by either my OH or family. i spent £20 of my own money the other week on a blanket and room themometer and my OH said to me i shouldn't be spending that, i should be paying towards my credit card debt - he said he will pay for the baby stuff. he just doesn't get that i WANT to buy my baby some stuff

sorry, i didnt mean for this to turn into one big moan from me lol!

good news is, i came up with a plan for us to sort our finances when i go back to work which is what the original thread was about

xx

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

Glad u got it sorted cos I've started to panic! Lol!

Gonna sit down this afternoon and have a look at what comes out of my pay packet I can stop and use to pay off my debt with. It's so scary. Really hadn't thought about it, just kept plodding on but I cant do that anymore

Gonna be some tough conversations and arguments in my house! Wish me luck!!

And Princess - could I share if winnings with you? Don't want a lot, just half a million would do to buy and house and sort myself out! Thanks

 

[Hope81]

There is very important for a woman to have economic indepedancy. I would hate asking for money. Glad yu found a solution

 

[lanny]

If you's dont share the money, what will uses do about the baby? Who pays for what? One buys nappies wipes milk, the other buys clothes? I could see it being hard. I have 3 children so what ever if left over I know what we have to spend on them iykwim xxxxxx

 

[pinkyprincess]

We planned all this about a month a go and have an A4 sheet pinned up in out kitchen with our plan (all OHs doing I'm so not organised!!) were going to keep our separate accounts (part of this is because OH was an idiot when he was young and got into a lot of debt for nothing. He kicks himself everyday for it but he doesn't want me paying for his debt) he also earns more than me and pays the bills (at the moment I give him a monthly amount to cover rent bills food shopping etc but I pay less than him!) when I'm being paid. Ill pay him a bit towards that but I'll have about £240 a month of maternity plus any child benefit etc that we qualify for (I'll be saving £100 a month before this too but if i need to dig in that no biggie) for the time I'm not being paid he's said he'll pay for all the baby groups and swimming etc but I've been squirrelling away some money since I found out about baby so if I want to go for dinner with my friends or buy a new pair of shoes I wont feel guilty asking him (total TBA when he's born lol) hope that all makes sense! Going to be pretty SKINT but I think a lot of the baby stuff is cheap anyway!


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[positivity :)]

Glad u got it sorted cos I've started to panic! Lol!

Gonna sit down this afternoon and have a look at what comes out of my pay packet I can stop and use to pay off my debt with. It's so scary. Really hadn't thought about it, just kept plodding on but I cant do that anymore

Gonna be some tough conversations and arguments in my house! Wish me luck!!

And Princess - could I share if winnings with you? Don't want a lot, just half a million would do to buy and house and sort myself out! Thanks

I think it's probably best to sort it out Hun, at least u can be prepared xx

 

[positivity :)]

There is very important for a woman to have economic indepedancy. I would hate asking for money. Glad yu found a solution

Yea, this is how I feel altho I know that doesn't work for everyone xx

 

[positivity :)]

If you's dont share the money, what will uses do about the baby? Who pays for what? One buys nappies wipes milk, the other buys clothes? I could see it being hard. I have 3 children so what ever if left over I know what we have to spend on them iykwim xxxxxx

Tbh he will buy baby essentials such as nappies and milk etc as that will form part of our weekly shop which he will be paying for but yep, I agree Lanny it could get difficult! Xx

 

[positivity :)]

We planned all this about a month a go and have an A4 sheet pinned up in out kitchen with our plan (all OHs doing I'm so not organised!!) were going to keep our separate accounts (part of this is because OH was an idiot when he was young and got into a lot of debt for nothing. He kicks himself everyday for it but he doesn't want me paying for his debt) he also earns more than me and pays the bills (at the moment I give him a monthly amount to cover rent bills food shopping etc but I pay less than him!) when I'm being paid. Ill pay him a bit towards that but I'll have about £240 a month of maternity plus any child benefit etc that we qualify for (I'll be saving £100 a month before this too but if i need to dig in that no biggie) for the time I'm not being paid he's said he'll pay for all the baby groups and swimming etc but I've been squirrelling away some money since I found out about baby so if I want to go for dinner with my friends or buy a new pair of shoes I wont feel guilty asking him (total TBA when he's born lol) hope that all makes sense! Going to be pretty SKINT but I think a lot of the baby stuff is cheap anyway!


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U two sound as tho u have it well sorted! Xx

 

[GregorysGirl]

omg..wat an intetesting thread!!!!!!!
so at chez Gregory......we do a similiar thing to princess.....both pay a set amount into the joint acc for food bills...mortgage etc....then whats left is our own...meanin if i want to treat myself I can n if hubby wants t save or spent he can.
also...if we needed anything for the house as an extra we'd just put half in each.
however....i earn mre than hubby.....only4k more but...it means i have more disposable income n also have more outgoings..such as £70 haircut n dye every8weeks..car finance....mobile contract....contact lenses ....the list goes on.
so our plan is-
everything we earn(i plan t go bk 3days after9mnths.....unless i have saved enough for a yr....last3mnths r unpaid if i wanna take them)
will go into our joint acc....everythin that comes out comes out....including childcare cost....2sets if fuel...car ins..tax etc....and wats left is OURS.
As i manage the finances n hubby never checks...looks n deffo doesnt scrutinise.....we will just either save the spare cash....which id wrked out would be £650A mth....he also knows 100% id never take the piss....but appreciates im a woman...loves shopping....but also love a good bargain.....and afterall ladies.....we r home with the babies so deserve a treat n ill prob b constantly buyin for lil ine or puttin some away for hols....rainy days etc. i deffo dnt waste money n thats why dh doesnt ever question wat i buy......plus he loves the easy life.
some of my friends spend 400a mnth on fags n70 a mnth on sky n shes moanin abt havin t go bk.....i told her she wudnt have to if she quit or at least cut bk on these luxeries.
anyway.....keep ur opinions comin in.....its great t see how other ppl r planning things xx

 

[Lilelephant]

We put our money together anyway! I can only take 6months cos j earn te most

 

[GregorysGirl]

one of the things im plannin is to start buyin n sellin things on ebay....buyin from charity shops n reselling for 50% more online....anythin i make from that'll b mine t do as i pls.
my mat package us very good (which is the only reason i stayed where i was till we got pg) so while im off we shoyld b fine as long as i put some aside in the first6mnths if being off.
wats everyone elses like. mine us 90% of my wage for6mnth....then 50%for 3mnthz n nothing for 3mnths uf u wanna stay off.
if i go bk...i get all the missin10%s i missed out on for those 6 mnths back after a mnth of returning.
not bad eh.
i deserve it tho f puttin up with all their shit....luckily my hubby diesnt want for much in life....hardly ever treats himself even tho he is a store manager n works very hard. i have allowed him t spend half his spare cash on finishin his classic car n half for baby purchases n hopefully itll b done by the time lo is here xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Great tread , really interesting how people do it actually

We run just like Torinos in the Jones House and it works well. I do scrutinise as it's a bit tight and trying to pay off some money of a small flexiloan. I use online banking and have about 6 accounts all on there,mixture of savings accounts and current accounts all in my name, half with OH's name as joint too (savings ones - empty most of time!, used for stashing xmas , pressie or car tax type money so it doesn't get sucked away!).

The reason i'm on them all is so I can run the money- OH doesn't want to do it and I feel I have to do it as it's all a bit tight most of time. Most of it is about communication to be honest, we talk about any item spends together unless I don't need to , eg things we need, kids stuff, clothes, food, petrol, etc, we don't do much other spending anyway, but it really works, at xmas we set ourselves a rough limit of undiscussed spending on pressie for each other , and I try not to look at online banking at the shop where he has been to help me guess!!!

When you have kids, it gets easier to share everything equally over the years eg, I have all the working familes tax credit and the child benifit go into a single account that I have to try to manage it better, for all kids spend , activities , swimming, ballet, school uniform, etc plus all food shopping and petrol. All the salary, (still on SMP just and OH S,alary goes into Joint to pay for all DD bills and then if we get anything left anywhere) we would split it as pocket money, but were only taking a £5 quid each some months, so maybee thats the difference, if we had loads of money, or OH's salary was twice as high maybee it would be different?

It really is a perfectly valued job being a mum/ worker as equal as your OH's job , regardless of his job pay, how hard he works etc and once we had kids , we became one if you know what I mean and any scrutiny stopped then, it had to.

I should say due to redundancy - OH has taken a 3 year stint at stay at home mum in the past, so he has seen the other side of the fence, and leaves well alone now, think he totally sees what a hard job it is, don't think you have to see it that you should def earn the same wage as you did when you were at your other work, who would review your progress and think about your payrises ?

 

[GregorysGirl]

i agree n unless u have a very frivilous life sytle ir one of u jn out fritterjn 100£ a wkend on sjooping or boozing..just enjoy wats keft n cherish ur family.
i have friends ehise fella r off out spending all the cash on drinking n its so unfair as they r scrimping. im very lucky xx

 

[hesty14]

What a interesting thread to wake up to!

In the our household we have had a joint bank account and scraped our single ones as soon as we moved in together which was after a year!! Hubby was paid 4 weekly and it just made it easier as there would have been times when the bills would go out and he would not gave been paid.

I earn more than him and also do two jobs so I never worry about treating myself to little things but also never worry about hubby doing the same as he works hard to. I'm a lot more careful than him with money (but I am a accountant!)

I will be reducing my hours so we will prob be on the same soon.

 

[Laura_C]

Me and my hubby decided to get a joint account about a year before we got married to help us save easier, as we were just spending loads on rubbish! We saved about £2000-£3000 in just that year because we could see what disposable we had as a couple and it really worked for us. I have my own credit card but we are joint holders on that anyway - when we got married it was just easier having all our money together for the mortgage and bills. It really works for us and actually we don't begrudge each other spending a little on ourselves each month. My hubby used to be terrible with money and run up loads of debt so once he had finally cleared it all it was my suggestion to get a joint account so that we could see where his money was going and I took responsibility for all of the bills. It now means I never worry about things getting paid or whether he is in debt, as I can see whats going in and out. Sounds a bit silly but it was necessary for a few years and he was so happy with it that way we have just kept the account as it is. He finds it less stressful knowing everything is being taken care of. We both have the best level credit rating you can get now after years of me helping him to be careful! Gpd I sound like a right controlling wench!!

 

[vickib_1984]

all our money goes in the same bank pays bills etc we always tell each other what we buy and how much it was so at least neither of us are wondering where this money or that money has gone it works for us but everyone is different really xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

hmmm... me and Liam share money completely, in actual fact i am probably 'in control' of it because he is working 50hr weeks and so its easier for me to deal with bills etc.

BUT, if you are insistant that it is kept seperately, have you considered that your 'job' is now caring for you and your OH's joint child, If you OH was working full time as a single parent, he would have to pay an awful lot for childcare.

 

[redbear]

at the minute me and hubby both get our wage paid into our account and we just use the money for whats needed, the rent etc and then we just get what we want don't really split it its just our money, it always has been even when i was in college lol x

 

[Lilmoomin]

We have a joint account, all money goes in it & all bills go out of it! Sadly we don't earn enough to go out and treat ourselves much anymore. Any spare money gets put into a holiday or a day trip or meal out with our boys. Would be nice if things could be different but we work to keep our boys happy now and that's all that matters to me Sometimes I go out with my girls (probably 3/4 times a year) and hubby will go watch car racing or something with his mates a couple of times a year