How will you and your OH work out money?

[Princess81]

I think I'll find this bit strange, I've always been a wild child! I'm hoping a baby makes me want to stay at home rather than go out and party. I've been rather good at dealing with it through pregnancy so far
We'll have to make a lifestyle change I think, we like our extravagances and expensive meals and nice trips out. We do all of this without thinking about it as we've always been able to afford it no problem. I'm just going to have to adjust!
I already have a credit union account through work, which money comes out of my wages each month straight into savings - its for christmas so I don't have to worry about saving for christmas every year. Hope that works out ok lol x

 

[BevG]

we both have seperate accounts, OH gives me money when he gets paid and the house bills come out my account, we each pay for our own cars insurance etc and we both buy food and whatever bits we need, basically whoever has money uses it. i have some debt from when i was struggling to survive on the dole and pay all the bills alone and OH is careful with his money and likes to have everything in order and all his, he moved in with me in jan and this works fine for us, neither of us begrudges the other anything. i also earn more than him atm but that will change after my hours get reduced lol. we will muddle thru together

 

[positivity :)]

I think I'll find this bit strange, I've always been a wild child! I'm hoping a baby makes me want to stay at home rather than go out and party. I've been rather good at dealing with it through pregnancy so far
We'll have to make a lifestyle change I think, we like our extravagances and expensive meals and nice trips out. We do all of this without thinking about it as we've always been able to afford it no problem. I'm just going to have to adjust!
I already have a credit union account through work, which money comes out of my wages each month straight into savings - its for christmas so I don't have to worry about saving for christmas every year. Hope that works out ok lol x

think we might be in for a shock princess i didn't really think this whole baby cost thing through

the thing is, i have friends who have children and we all go out all the time for girly nights etc, in fact they are all off for a girly holiday to miami next year for 5 days and 3 of them have kids (i'v obv had to accept i wont be going next year coz of lo).

so i suppose because i've seen all of them able to do it i assumed i would too.

anyway, thanks for all your replies everyone, very interesting, it seems the vast majority pay into the same account and then share whatever is left over.

i mentioned earlier that i had come up with a plan..at 5am this morning actually

so, when i go part time to 3 days a week i will be 'losing' £800 a month off what my full time wage was.

so i said to OH to make it fair, we should both 'lose' the £800 which means that he will pay an extra £400 out of his wages towards the mortgage and bills and i'll now only pay £350 (currently pay £750 each). we will split the cost of childcare and then after that his money is his and mine is mine. he called me when he got to work this morning and said he agrees and that i can still ask him for money if i need it and he will save some money too for us as he knows i wont really be able to do much of that....can u tell which one of us is the sensible one?

so i think we are sorted which is great but of course it might not work at all at which point we will readdress it!

once again, thanks everyone xxxxxxx

 

[Cazza]

Me and OH have had a joint account for 23 years!!!

Over the years we've either earned the same or not far off but for the last 4 years I've only worked 3 days a week so only bring home about a third of what he does.

We both view all the money as 'ours'.

If there's something expensive one of us wants we will mention it to the other have a chat IE his new bike for Triathlons (over £1,000) but that's a rare situation.

I could not cope with being 'given' housekeeping money each month, I'd find that hard to take!!

As I work less hours than him I keep on top of the house, make sure the pantry is full and cook all the meals (he's shockingly bad at cooking!!!) although he actually loves housework!!

Works for us!!

 

[Roo3]

OH and I didn't really discuss money before I had Jake! We have our own seperate accounts. As our house is owned by OH and his brother, I pay them rent which includes all bills (a token really!). By the time I have paid for all my bills out of my maternity pay I'm left with about £20 a month to myself. This will get better from December when I finish paying off a loan.
OH also lent me money a couple of years ago to buy my car, but since I went on maternity I've stopped paying him back for that. Can't see me ever starting to pay that back!!!
Child benefit gets paid into my account and I use that to pay for Jakes formula and nappies.
I also saved a bit when I found I was pregnant and that is for me to use to pay for my petrol, clothes for me and Jake. It won't last long but OH has told me to let him know when I'm down to my last £100.00!
In terms of food shopping, we've agreed that I will pay for 2 days shopping so about £20-30 a week, and OH has left me an envelope full of cash that I just dip into for the rest of the money for the food!
If we need anything big for Jake, then OH pays for it!
I do feel bad taking his money but I cannot afford to pay for everything myself anymore. OH earns twice what I do and can afford to pay the lions share at the moment.
Since I had Jake, I don't want to spend a lot of money on myself, I'd rather spend it on Jake which OH can't argue about. If I was buying myself loads of stuff then I think he'd have something to say about it.

 

[Olive]

I'm going to have a good read through this to see what everyone does! We're the same in that we split everything and whatever we have in our own accounts we spend on ourselves lol. We've got a joint account too for bills.

OH earns nearly double what I do.

Really need to work out what will be best. We're not very grown up when it comes to money.

xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Wow, if me and OH didnt share money anyway, i would definitely make sure he paid for half Jaspers food, nappies, formula and what not! Its his child too!!!!!

 

[knopk@]

Well my husband earns 3 times more than I do but the mortgage is on his name, I did use to contribute every month but now it will be not much at all so it will be mostly joint account, he will set up a standing order cause all the bills are coming out of the joint account. The way I look at it its our money and then I have my own stash to treat myself

 

[ISH]

God help us if I had to do accounts and such! He works out everything money-wise. I do my art and keep my head in the clouds, he is a ridiculously pedantic person, so everyone's happy

 

[mustard]

This thread has been fasinating to read. It has also given me some real food for thought. Me and OH have had totally joint finances since we got married (before that we had our own accounts and paid a set amount into a joint one for bills etc). For almost all of our relationship I have been the bigger earner as OH was studying for his qualifications. Now he has qualified his salary has leapfrogged mine (which is why we decided it was a good time to have kids as my salary was no longer totally vital at least for a while). I have always spent more than him on non essensials (he is a simple sole he doesnt want for much) but I never felt guilty because I earnt the most). I don't know if I'll feel differently when I'm on SMP and he earns almost everything. I don't think he will question me (I sort out all the finances and check the credit card bills etc so I don't think he will notice). I hope I won't feel bad because being a mum is a really important full time job as well so I hope I will value that work as much as paid work, but it will be very weird not earning my own money.

 

[1986princess]

me and oh have joint accounts and sems to work for us. we set up mortgage and all bills for 1s day of month and then we know whats left for food and spending, so if i want a dress or h wants a tv etc we know whats left. we put a bit aside in an account as an emergency fund and a bit in savings and if we want a big item discuss it between. have never had a problem, touch wood. im a hairdresser so do a few home visits out of work so i tend to get a bit of cash for luxuries that way and paul fixes laptops phones etc as hes very technical so he gets a few home jobs too! seems a good balance. may well have to rely more on him through my time off and before i can pick up mobile work again n he seems happy with that set up but we will see .....

 

[ft90]

I love this thread! It's so interesting to see what other people do!

OH and I have a joint account, and we have our own accounts as well. I don't work, we decided to try for LO when I was in the last year of uni, so I never started working after I finished... OH works offshore 6 weeks on/6 weeks off, so we decided against me working at all while he's doing that or I'd be working when he was home and we'd never spend any time together!

So I don't have a wage to contribute... OH earns a very good wage, and gets paid into his personal account. Then he sorts out transferring some into his account to go to the tax man (he's self employed), then some for our house deposit, all of the bills come out of his account, then he makes sure there's a few thousand pounds in the joint account at all times. He's very paranoid about something bad happening while he's away and me needing money!

He told me to pay for everything out of the joint account, so I buy food etc from there, and if I want to have my nails, hair or anything done I use it, and for clothes as well as going out for meals with friends or family. He said that's fine, all personal items within reason, so no cars or anything haha! Fat chance of that seeing as I don't drive!!!

It works pretty well really, I don't feel guilty taking money from there, as I more than earn it by being on my own for 6 weeks at a time! And OH wouldn't have it any other way, because when he gets home from offshore, I'm at home waiting for him and we have 6 weeks together to do fun stuff, go on holiday etc without having to worry about money or me having to go to work!

I think everyone has their own way of doing things, and as long as it works, it's all good!

xx

 

[JoJo79]

Just thought id add in after reading through again i would love a joint acc with the hubby but cos he was made bankrupt a few yrs back (we had our own business that went t*ts up) our bank (or any other we could find at the time!) refused to give us a joint account because of his credit score

I know no one has said theres anything "wrong" with seperate accounts, just thought id share xxx