How old where you

[JMC]

Hello Mummy's !!! Or Mommy's as it is in USA

My questions to you is

How old where you when fell pregnant with your first child?

What was your first reaction to it?

After you had made your decision what was you focusing on?

And during the 9 months how much did your emotions change, mainly towards the baby (e.g after 6 months wishing you could turn back time etc)?

 

[K X]

I was 22 when I fell pregnant (in faliraki last year ) and I had Rebecca in Feb 06 when I was 23. I was upset and shkd at first, as me and OH were a bit unstable-arguing quite a lot, and I had just been promoted in my job. My main worry tho was MONEY in relation to childcare costs. My emotions were all over the place, I loved my OH at times, and then at other times I could of killed him...

we are still together with our lil girl, but things have changed...Rebecca has turned our world upside down!

U xcited?

 

[michelle82]

How old where you when fell pregnant with your first child? just turned 23

What was your first reaction to it? Happy (but we planned it just didnt expect it to happen so soon)

After you had made your decision what was you focusing on? Getting thru the first 12 weeks they were my worst with morning sickness
And during the 9 months how much did your emotions change, mainly towards the baby (e.g after 6 months wishing you could turn back time etc)?
Do you know my emotions were the only stable thing in pg, i was more teary now and then but normally when watching something sad!!! but i often told the OH he had it easy as i was so calm. The going overdue was hard i just wanted it out and to meet it.

 

[JMC]

I was 22 when I fell pregnant (in faliraki last year ) and I had Rebecca in Feb 06 when I was 23. I was upset and shkd at first, as me and OH were a bit unstable-arguing quite a lot, and I had just been promoted in my job. My main worry tho was MONEY in relation to childcare costs. My emotions were all over the place, I loved my OH at times, and then at other times I could of killed him...

we are still together with our lil girl, but things have changed...Rebecca has turned our world upside down!

U xcited?

Yeh im really excited, its still sinking in. I know its going to be here soon but i still havnt fully accepted it.

However im thinking of it positively, im just still upset that im not with my girlfriend. Its hard to deal with something like this with a broken heart.

But then again, maybe this is what will heal my wounds...I mean what beats a baby hey. They are the most amazing things in the world

I was an uncle at age 7, ive now got 5 neices and 1 nephew and i love them all, even though they annoy me sometimes haha!

But i know how much joy babies and children can bring, especially when its my own that ive helped create

P.S when you say rebecca has turned your world upside down, what do you mean? For good or for bad?

 

[K X]

Oh yeah the over due bit was the longest wait ever eventhough it's only a week or so...

 

[JMC]

How old where you when fell pregnant with your first child? I was 19 my girlfriend was just about to turn 16

What was your first reaction to it? Real shock, but i wasnt as shocked as i should have been. I dont think its possible for it to all sink in at once. Its still sinking in now... but im really excited now

After you had made your decision what was you focusing on? Getting my self sorted. I havn't got a job yet so ive really got to get a move on. I've saved up £150 up to now, and ill have another £100 next week. I want to save as much as i can, if i get a job it will be great but without ill just have to do odd jobs and squeeze all my pennys together !

And during the 9 months how much did your emotions change, mainly towards the baby (e.g after 6 months wishing you could turn back time etc)? Its only been like 5 weeks... The first week i would just lie in bed at night and thinking oh god this is going to change everything. But now i lie in bed and just think of the moment ill be holding the baby in my arms at the hospital

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

How old where you when fell pregnant with your first child?

i was 17 had B at 18

What was your first reaction to it?

i didnt believe the test my mum made me test as i was putting on weightso i did that nite i was convinced that it was gonna be a neg but wen it was a pos i didnt believe it, i went to the docs the next day and he did the usual tests n sed he thinks im about 16 weeks so booked me in for a scan and they had one that day so i went n found out i wa\s 21+5 weeks pregnant the following 2 weeks i just cried then i realised how looking forward to it i was

after you had made your decision what was you focusing on?

as i found out so late and i had already seen B there was no desicion but i dont think that i would ever be a desision to make
wen my ex left me we started looking for a house so B could have his own room and looking forward to him coming,

And during the 9 months how much did your emotions change, mainly towards the baby (e.g after 6 months wishing you could turn back time etc)?

i cant really remember all i remember was going for all men after my ex hurt me so much i went thro a faze of not liking ne men apart from my family members, i also felt nervous the whole time n worried for my babies health etc as i didnt find out for late not knowing if i had harmed him by the foods i ate etc( inever drank or smoked)idnt need to worry bout that

 

[futuremum]

I was 28 when i fell pregnant

My reaction was that i cried in shock as relationship was not good and finances not good either ( they are really bad now lol)

After 3 months of not knowing if we were going to keep the baby or abort it, we finally agreed to keep the baby ( BEST choice and best decision ever made in my life ) we concentrated on saving a bit to buy the baby stuff.

i never regretted keeping the baby once the decision was made. I got very emotional though towards the end of the pregnancy and well after birth . work helped me to put myself together. the first 3 months after the birth were not easy but after that it went just better and better. now after 6 months, my baby is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life

 

[Strangeness]

I was 18 when I fell pregnant had my son at 19.

I was shocked it happened so fast!

There was no decision to make as my son was planned so I was on top of the world!

It changed everything but for the better! Me and my husband are probably closer than ever which I never thought was possible, it's the most amazing feeling!

 

[bubble_dreamer]

i was 16 when ifell pregnant with Kurt had just turned 17 when i had him.

my first reaction was pure shock but it eventually sunk in

The first thing i focused on was moving out of the hell whole i was living in and i did it within 2 months of finding out i was pregnant (god the system was so much easier back then )

My emotions were all over the place during my pregnancy though not due to the pregnancy more to do with the relationship i was in

 

[violet-glow]

I fell pregnant at 17 but gave birth when I was 18.
I was shocked at first, didnt know if I wanted to keep it or not. The father didnt want to know me as soon as he found out. He was 27 at the time, so he should have known beta arrggghh lol. I went through all different emotions, wanting it one min then not wanting it the next. My mum helped me alot. I got a job when I turned 18 in a night club, I was a barmaid. The way I saw it was that I was living at home, no partner and id have to support my baby, but i had no money. So I got myself a job. That didnt turn out as planned tho. I realised single mums are better off not working. I didnt bond with my son very well when he was born, i would go out clubbing, leaving him with my parents and wishing i had had an abortion. I wish i could turn the clock back now, because I have bonded with him now, and I love him so much. I wouldnt be without him.

I hope your alright, you seem like your going through alot of emotions yourself right now JMC. Take care xx

 

[JMC]

My emotions were all over the place during my pregnancy though not due to the pregnancy more to do with the relationship i was in

So do you think if your pregnant and you and your partner just arnt getting on, arguing all the time which obviously is upsetting, do you think its best to call off the relationship while your pregnant...

Obviously their will be times when you really want a cuddle but is that worth all the arguments in the day?

I know stress can damage the baby, not sure how much required but in some cases you may have to split for the sake of your health which can effect the baby...

Just wondering you see because me and my girlfriend have split, but i still want to be their for her all the way. We just argue a lot so im wondering whether to just lay off on the relationship and just show my love in other ways... or whether to try get our relationship back on track asap

 

[JMC]

I fell pregnant at 17 but gave birth when I was 18.
I was shocked at first, didnt know if I wanted to keep it or not. The father didnt want to know me as soon as he found out. He was 27 at the time, so he should have known beta arrggghh lol. I went through all different emotions, wanting it one min then not wanting it the next. My mum helped me alot. I got a job when I turned 18 in a night club, I was a barmaid. The way I saw it was that I was living at home, no partner and id have to support my baby, but i had no money. So I got myself a job. That didnt turn out as planned tho. I realised single mums are better off not working. I didnt bond with my son very well when he was born, i would go out clubbing, leaving him with my parents and wishing i had had an abortion. I wish i could turn the clock back now, because I have bonded with him now, and I love him so much. I wouldnt be without him.

Yeh, teenagers who have babies will often automatically pass the baby to their mum whilst they go out and do what normal teenagers do and have fun !

I'm just glad that you got your self back on track and it sounds that you love your baby very much.

I see teenager mothers round by mine, and most of the time its their mum looking after it while they go out and carry on living their childhood

Obviously its nice to carry on your child hood, but i think to an extent because its your baby not your mothers

I hope your alright, you seem like your going through alot of emotions yourself right now JMC. Take care xx

Yeh i am, im heart broken because of my split with my girlfriend and am really depressed. The only person who can fix me is her, yet at the same time sometimes she appears as the enemy.

I cant help but think im being selfish, i mean we have a beautiful baby on the way and heres me dwelling on heart ache from the past. I know i cant 'delete' my feelings but I just hate having to think of all the bad things rather than the baby

Tell you what though, this forum is doing a hell of a lot for me !! Its good to speak with other parents about things. Takes my mind of the bad stuff and focuses me on the important thing, my baby to be !!

 

[violet-glow]

Just wondering you see because me and my girlfriend have split, but i still want to be their for her all the way. We just argue a lot so im wondering whether to just lay off on the relationship and just show my love in other ways

I think giving her time and yourself to cool down is a good idea. It sounds like everything is still fresh at the moment. Its really hard when someone cheats and you still love them, not to think about what they have done to you everytime you see them or think about them. Try just letting her know that your there if she needs you (which you probably already have) and try backing away for a bit. Im sure she will contact you. Things are different when babys are born and your ex is probably just very hormonal at the moment aswell as probably feeling guilty about cheating on you. She'll be upset about doing it aswell. So when you argue i bet all hell brakes, because your both feeling very hurt right now and being new parents your going to be scared about alot of things. Just try giving it sometime and not thinking about having to have a relationship right now. Just be there for her and who knows what the future has install. Im sure in time both your feelings of hurt will fade. They wont be gone completely because the trust has been broken and that takes time to mend. But soon there will be a little life to think about and some of those arguments that seem huge right now, wont seem so massive.

I dunno if any of that made sence

 

[JMC]

Just wondering you see because me and my girlfriend have split, but i still want to be their for her all the way. We just argue a lot so im wondering whether to just lay off on the relationship and just show my love in other ways

I think giving her time and yourself to cool down is a good idea. It sounds like everything is still fresh at the moment. Its really hard when someone cheats and you still love them, not to think about what they have done to you everytime you see them or think about them. Try just letting her know that your there if she needs you (which you probably already have) and try backing away for a bit. Im sure she will contact you. Things are different when babys are born and your ex is probably just very hormonal at the moment aswell as probably feeling guilty about cheating on you. She'll be upset about doing it aswell. So when you argue i bet all hell brakes, because your both feeling very hurt right now and being new parents your going to be scared about alot of things. Just try giving it sometime and not thinking about having to have a relationship right now. Just be there for her and who knows what the future has install. Im sure in time both your feelings of hurt will fade. They wont be gone completely because the trust has been broken and that takes time to mend. But soon there will be a little life to think about and some of those arguments that seem huge right now, wont seem so massive.

I dunno if any of that made sence

Wow, thanks a lot !! Thats really helped

I called her today just to check how she was even though she told me not to contact her....

She was like 'wat do u want' but i just asked her how she was feelin, if she had been sick etc.. And i left it at that.

Your right things are still fresh, and your advice is the same as everyone elses 'Let time heal things'

So now im going to plant my self on this forum as much as i can, and pop any interesting info her way via email or something.

Hopefully she will realise how much i care then

But thanks for your advice, that was great !

 

[violet-glow]

Just try not being O.T.T with the whole giving her info thing or wanting to know how she is. My OH and i split up for a bit during the start of this pregnancy, I personally hated it when he would fone me and ask how I was and saying that he cares about me. I wanted my space and he wouldnt give it to me. He soon backed off a bit and when he did I was able to think about things without him in my face asking questions. We started off just meeting up once a week and seeing how things went. Then slowly we got back togther and things are great now. We didnt cheat on each other tho so I guess its different. Play a little hard to get she will soon realise what shes missing lol.

 

[JMC]

Just try not being O.T.T with the whole giving her info thing or wanting to know how she is. My OH and i split up for a bit during the start of this pregnancy, I personally hated it when he would fone me and ask how I was and saying that he cares about me. I wanted my space and he wouldnt give it to me. He soon backed off a bit and when he did I was able to think about things without him in my face asking questions. We started off just meeting up once a week and seeing how things went. Then slowly we got back togther and things are great now. We didnt cheat on each other tho so I guess its different. Play a little hard to get she will soon realise what shes missing lol.

Yeh she wasn't to pleased when i rang today. I know she hates the fact that she has to go through all this and i dont. Which is fair, its both are baby so its not nice to have to go through all the pain on your own

And obviously when im like 'are you arrite, how are you feeling' it may be patronising to her !

But at the same time if i dont ask she may feel i dont care

Its a lose lose situation lol

I'm going to try give her space, but i just dont want her to move on with another feller.

I know its probably the last thing on her mind, but it really scares me.

But yeh i'll take you up on your advice and just lay off on the contact a bit

Saying that though, who wants to place bets on me ringing her first thing tommorow

 

[violet-glow]

Well instead of ringing, coz ur prob bugging the hell out of her and thats noway to get her to want you back or want to talk. Why not write her a letter or email her, telling her how you feel... tell her everything and then leave it at that. Leave her to contact you after sending it. You dont want to seem to pushy or in her face. You'll be winding her up by contacting her all the time when she doesnt want you to. I know its hard coz its your baby aswell and ur feeling like your being pushed aside as if the baby is nothing to do with you. But just give her time. I think sending her a letter or email would be great. You'd get to tell her things that you cant talk about on the fone, and you get your point and feelings across without her butting in or having a moan. Do a really heart felt one and let her contact you after that, even if she doesnt contact you for a couple of days or so she will have still read it and be thinking about it.

 

[Xena]

How old where you when fell pregnant with your first child? 21

What was your first reaction to it? Totally horrified. I cried bucketloads.

After you had made your decision what was you focusing on? I'm not sure I follow you...what decision? Do you mean whether or not to keep the baby? There was no decision of that sort. I could never abort a child.

And during the 9 months how much did your emotions change, mainly towards the baby (e.g after 6 months wishing you could turn back time etc)? After the first couple of months I accepted that I was going to be having a baby, and as it got closer to the end of the pregnancy I started to be really looking forward to meeting my baby. Then when she was born I was so overwhelmed by how gorgeous she was. I could hardly believe that I had been so upset about being pregnant in the first place.

 

[JMC]

Well instead of ringing, coz ur prob bugging the hell out of her and thats noway to get her to want you back or want to talk. Why not write her a letter or email her, telling her how you feel... tell her everything and then leave it at that. Leave her to contact you after sending it. You dont want to seem to pushy or in her face. You'll be winding her up by contacting her all the time when she doesnt want you to. I know its hard coz its your baby aswell and ur feeling like your being pushed aside as if the baby is nothing to do with you. But just give her time. I think sending her a letter or email would be great. You'd get to tell her things that you cant talk about on the fone, and you get your point and feelings across without her butting in or having a moan. Do a really heart felt one and let her contact you after that, even if she doesnt contact you for a couple of days or so she will have still read it and be thinking about it.

Thanks !! I have been sending her emails tonight with things im found out from the forum!