How much help do think you'll need?

[Mamafy]

How much help do you think you'll need or even want postnatally?

 

[Simoneh00]

If I manage to have a natural birth this time, I'm hoping to just stay at my mum's for a week or so before heading home.
If I have a c section it'll be more like 2-3 weeks and lifting a heavy toddler will be near impossible.
Only problem is, my mum had a stroke in October and has no use in her left arm so she can't lift Eva either
The only thing that worries me is Eva being jealous, especially as I plan to breastfeed
xx

 

[JJ Mum]

I want the few extra days in hospital with just me and baby that a sections brings you, as they are special, My sister and Mum always help me by looking after kids for the day at her house, while me and OH are in hospital for the day at the birth.

But when I'm home I just like to get on with it, and the only help I end up wanting is where you are not insured to drive for 4-6 weeks and need to get back to the hospital for test or baby etc, but lovely to use the pushchair more instead. I find too many family members helping a pain and I think it would slow my recovery too much.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I tell my family that I'll let them know if I need them! I tend to keep everyone at arms length for a while. I think it's important to not be bombarded in the early days so you can get to know your new family. My hubby will be my help. I dont go in for mum's and MILs round 'helping' - it would do my nut in!!

 

[Mamafy]

I was the exact same Rolled my eyes whenever I heard the doorbell going

 

[FebMum2Be]

I felt a bit smothered.. I felt like telling the nurses in the hosp where to go They were coming in and changing his nappy and trying to feed him when he had it done not long before grr.. And I hated the midwives coming when I got home too I sound like a bitch and I hate everyone but I just wanted to be left alone to bond with him and learn his little ways etc.. Will definitly be more vocal for the next one

 

[Mamafy]

I think it's natures way actually, putting us in our caves

 

[FebMum2Be]

Yeah.. Mother bear guarding her cave I didn't get to change one of Odhráns nappies for ages which really bothered me though, I think they should give mums a little more independance in the hospital..

 

[MrsR]

I had a really good hospital experience first time round, the staff were there if I needed them but they gave me my independance to do everything for Summer. This time I want a home birth and will just have OH as my support, just as I'd like it. I don't like my mil anyways so will be locking door!

 

[number2]

I had the opposite with my son, I was left alone once I was out of the delivery suite, managed to breastfeed on my own, but wasn't really sure if I was doing it right, and then realised he's pooped, so did all that by myself. Had never changed a nappy before, and certainly never seen anything like that meconium, so took me a while!

This time I hope I can leave the hospital the same day, like last time, went in in the wee hours of the am, was home by 4pm. Don't want to sleep in a room with 4 other women, and 4 other newborns.

Am also slightly worried as DS starts school 7 days after due date. EEk!

But really don't like the thought of family fussing over me, thinking I can't cope on my own. They've already said it jokingly 'Oh, gosh, you'll have your hands full, won't you?!' Uh, no, I won't thankyou, I can't wait!

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

I will be putting a 'do not disturb mother and baby sleeping' sign on the door, I did that first time around. I want to be left alone to organise myself and not be questioned about every little thing. There's nothing worse than people offering advice and spending too long sitting in your lounge when you have just had a baby..

 

[Mervs Mum]

I actually told my MIL that I wouldnt be accepting visitors for 2 weeks after Hebe was born....needless to say she was 'but what about Auntie Sheila and Uncle Brian??' ...... They can knickers!! I did take visitors sooner than 2 weeks but I wanted to get it in up front so that people knew not to start descending at their leisure. I also had a visitors diary so I only had 1 set per morning or afternoon.

 

[Rowesb]

that's a good idea MM...
last time mum announced that she was going to be my birthing partner this time she has not mentioned it, but they will be staying at my brothers and we are not letting them anywhere near us for at least 48 hours... everyone else lives a fair distance away... so fingers crossed...

 

[titch]

ohhhhh, this is my first baby so I dont really know how Ill feel but Ive been trying to rally all the help I can get....now Im worried Im setting myself up for a fall! I kind of want my mum there cosIm so scared of doing it all on my own! Thing is, she'llhave to stay cos she lives too far to pop in for a cuppa.

 

[Terrie]

when Rhys was born it was nearly christmas and the first time we really saw people was christmas day which was nice, we had told people beforehand we wanted some space and they pretty much left us alone.. to the point where i was a bit annoyed nobody had called LOL!!

when Ffion was born it was the same really, except my inlaws came round every day at 5pm to drop off hamper of a hot meal and a pudding for us.. it was a god send! they did that for about a week and i must say if it wasnt for them we probably wouldnt have even had a hot meal! they were good though they literally came in, dropped the hamper and picked up the dishes from the days before meal and then they left us. they would have done it for longer if we had wanted but after a week i had screwed my head back on and wanted to get back to normality

 

[titch]

thats fab!!! Im hoping my mum will be doing useful things like cooking and laundry!

 

[DanDecMum]

When Dan was born I lived at home so there was always lots of people around and I didnt have to do anything like cooking or washing (apart from Dans little handwash stuff) so it was bliss.

With Dec I was practically on my own, I had him on Monday was home on Wednesday and almost back to normal everyday routine by Thursday. My sis was on holiday, I wasnt speaking to half my family and my OH had a dislocated shoulder and with Dec I had an emergency c-section so it would have been nice to have the help with him instead of Dan.

 

[Toonlass]

I plan on staying in hospital for 1 night after Lucas is born just to have some time with him and me alone to bond. OH can only have 1 week off work so that should be long enough for us to get settled in at home as a family. I also hate the MW's and HV's calling round all the time, does my head in! And OH's parents only live 5 doors away so its hard to get them to keep their distance.

I don't like people coming round 'helping' i think the best help people can give is to wait until they are asked for help and not set up camp in your house trying to take over.

The only concern i have is if i need a c section, i think i will struggle with a new born and an under 1 and a 7 year old (school runs etc) but i will cross that bridge if i come to it xx

 

[serenitylove]

i had a csection last time and made a big mistake of not letting anyone help me at all and ended up back in hospital for a night so i know if i have one again not to be so independant but im hoping for a natural birth this time and wuld like one night in hosp then home

 

[klam]

ohh wot a fab question! always wondered wot most people do, but seems we r all different! me and my partner got no help with our daughter at all, even 2 this day! my sister was a single parent and she stayed with my parents 4 6 months, my mum doin nite feeds washings everythin. so i was a little sad that not 1 person ofered a helpin hand. but this time iv had offers already as its a boy (theres no boys in the family!) and iv refused! how can they take my baby boy but never bother with my little girl. maybe this is a seperate post as its a subject quite close 2 my heart and really brings me down. the one good thing is iv brung my daughter up on my own!! ( well me and my partner but he works full time and works away 4 times a year so im proud of myself. i didnt mind any visitors at all was quite grateful they wanted 2 cum c or hold ma wee daughter xxx