How much can you really influence gender?

[kristenann]

OK, so a friend of mine has just started ttc , she wants a girl. She says there are lots of forums and what not for advice on how to do this.. but it has me confused? how can the women be the one to influence the gender when it is due to the guys sperm? I told her about SMEP and she has said no.. because it is too many "attempts" and sways boy? OMG please tell me she isnt right about all this?

shes also now actively trying to lose weight, limit tries, not have certain nutritious foods etc..

 

[Sazlarxo]

Will she still be happy if she has a boy? :/ Personally all I care about is if the baby is healthy rather than what's between its legs.

 

[Donna88]

I'd also be concerned about her not being happy if she has a boy?


Doing things to try and sway gender is fine, as long as you aren't convincing yourself that they will definitely work as it can then become a bigger shock if you do have the opposite gender to what you tried to sway for.

The things she is doing to try for a girl are potentially going to lower her chances of conceiving at all.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a boy or a girl, however you need to accept you can't always get what you want. Even if you do - you need to be careful with your expectations. She could have a girl who grows up and isn't quite what your friend expects from a girl, some people want girls because they expect them to love dressing up and going shopping with them etc and they might not be into that.

 

[kristenann]

Im glad theres no evidence in this it seems... Its not me trying to pick Genders just thought as crazy as it seemed what if it was real

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[night owl]

The way it supposedly works is all about how long female sperm survives in the female reproductive system compared to how long the male sperm survives, male sperm
supposedly faster at getting to the egg but don’t live as long as female sperm which can lie in wait for the egg for days after all the male sperm has died, so yes the man is responsible for the gender but by timing sex in a particular way you may be more likely to conceive a girl or a boy, there are a few methods but the main one is called the shettles method - google it if you want to know more - some people say it doesn’t work and some people say it has a good chance of working if done correctly x

 

[WinterWolf]

Sounds like she shouldn't be TTC if she only wants a girl. She'll have a 50% chance of having a boy even if she sways it. I only wanted a daughter for years and years and years. Only recently did I start thinking about how great a little boy would be as well. That's when we decided to start TTC, because I knew I was at a point where I would love my baby and be happy either way. If your friend isn't there yet and thinks a boy would make her unhappy, she should wait.

 

[Crumble]

Oh gosh! I hope to have a baby and that is healthy, doesn't matter the gender!

 

[kristenann]

I just thought perhaps there was method to her madness. She has a little boy already, apparently he was conceived using SMEP plan and doing all the wrong diet things that would get a girl. Im just surprised a diet / what mum eats can influence what sperm gets there... I get the BD timing might help as perhaps some science there but diet?

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[WinterWolf]

The sperm decides the gender, women have no control!! IF diet was a factor (which I've never heard of), it would be the man's diet. Doesn't matter what a women eats, she can't influence gender. The shettles method does have some truth to it, but it's by no means 100%.

 

[kristenann]

I agree with you scientifically/logically speaking i cant see how a womens diet alters what sperm gets there..? Id understand if it was the man must eat this & that but ?

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[Laura butchers]

I really dont mean to come across harsh or rude but i think your friend needs to get a grip. If she does luckily manage to concieve she should just be greatful! There are people out there dying to have children and the gender of the baby isnt important - what is important is that her baby is loved!

Sorry if this offends anyone. Im a bit hormonal this morning :/

 

[kristenann]

Agree. And i too am feeling frustrated this is why i was a bit flabbergasted, enough so to even wonder if there is any method to madness! I didnt mention to her i was trying myself

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[Laura butchers]

Agree. And i too am feeling frustrated this is why i was a bit flabbergasted, enough so to even wonder if there is any method to madness! I didnt mention to her i was trying myself

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I wouldve be flabbergasted too to be honest.

 

[IVW]

Oh wow some people really do amaze me.

If she thinks whatever she is doing and what she has researched might work, then crack on, but thats just added stress on top of the actual trying to get pregnant part

I personally think, what will be will be - its all natural and out of our hands, unless you go to a gender selection place, which is a whole other kettle of fish.

 

[keeptrying14]

Makes me so mad when I see threads about gender swaying some women go through years and years of heartache and then you see threads like I just want a boy/girl and it must be so hurtful to people that have been trying for just a healthy baby. Anyway yes there is some evidence that diet influences gender however, it’s only like a 3-5% sway towards the specific gender you want. It has something to do with how different foods affect your ph balance so boys survive more in an alkaline environment better whereas girls are more resilient to acidic which kills the boy sperm. I think tho that you have to take this with a pinch of salt and really if it’s so important to you the sex of the baby then maybe you shouldn’t have a baby at all x

 

[Akua]

The thing about trying to sway for gender... is 50% of the time it’ll seem like it’s worked. So you’ll have people that are convinced it’s great because it worked for them and then they’ll spread the word through forums and the like. Personally I’m not so sure it’s at all reliable.

If it was me, I couldn’t care if my baby was a girl, boy, or green with purple spots as long as it’s healthy and happy

 

[Shepherdess]

I think some of these comments are a little harsh. There's nothing wrong with having a preference and by trying these things she's not actually hurting anyone. Surely your friend would still be happy if she had another boy? I'm really lucky I have two girls, I didn't realise how much I wanted a second girl until I had my 20 week scan and I realised if they'd said boy I'd have been really disappointed, however I would have gotten over it and loved my baby boy had that been the case

 

[MrsS15]

I think some of these comments are a little harsh. There's nothing wrong with having a preference and by trying these things she's not actually hurting anyone. Surely your friend would still be happy if she had another boy? I'm really lucky I have two girls, I didn't realise how much I wanted a second girl until I had my 20 week scan and I realised if they'd said boy I'd have been really disappointed, however I would have gotten over it and loved my baby boy had that been the case

And this is equally harsh. If you had a boy you would have ‘gotten over it?’ Ouch. And you’re really lucky because you have girls? I have two sons. Am I not lucky?

I agree it’s okay to have a preference. But not if you’re so opposed to having the opposite sex you’re swaying for. No matter what you do you have a 50/50 chance. For every one person that sways for a certain sex and gets it, someone else sways and doesn’t. It’s a load of tosh xx

 

[Shepherdess]

I think some of these comments are a little harsh. There's nothing wrong with having a preference and by trying these things she's not actually hurting anyone. Surely your friend would still be happy if she had another boy? I'm really lucky I have two girls, I didn't realise how much I wanted a second girl until I had my 20 week scan and I realised if they'd said boy I'd have been really disappointed, however I would have gotten over it and loved my baby boy had that been the case

And this is equally harsh. If you had a boy you would have ‘gotten over it?’ Ouch. And you’re really lucky because you have girls? I have two sons. Am I not lucky?

I agree it’s okay to have a preference. But not if you’re so opposed to having the opposite sex you’re swaying for. No matter what you do you have a 50/50 chance. For every one person that sways for a certain sex and gets it, someone else sways and doesn’t. It’s a load of tosh xx

No of course your lucky too, everyone who has children is in that sense I just meant I'm lucky enough to have what I want. And yes I'd "have got over it" as it's not actually that big of a deal is what I meant, if I'd had a boy he'd be just as adored as my daughter. It wouldn't have mattered what I'd had it just felt like it at the time. My main point is that she's not actually hurting anyone but trying to sway and that as a mother she'd love another boy to if that what she had. (Unless this was a really extreme case which I didn't get that impression from the op)

 

[kristenann]

To add she loves her lil boy but wants boy / girl perfect family

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