How is your partner dealing with you being pregnant?

[Lewa]

Hi all!
I have a feeling my husband doesn't understand how tired I actually am and how unwell I feel. He's disappointed that I don't do more cleaning and dishes etc and that I'm just sleeping when I'm not at work. (I only work part time, he works close to full time). But I'm really really tired. And I know I get more nauseous if I don't sleep, and yesterday I didn't take any naps during the day and today I woke up with a slightly sore throat and vomited twice before 9'o clock.. It seems like he's basically worried that if I do as little as I do now, how will things get done when we have a kid.. but I just wish he understood that the first trimester can be really really bad, even though you don't see a bump! I'm pretty sure if I had a huge belly by now he would have seen things differently...

which makes me curious by the way, for those of you who's been pregnant before... how did you feel energy wise in tri 2 and 3 compared to 1?

Anyway, how our your partners coping and what do you do to make him understand AND make him not worry about the future... ?

Thanks

 

[Kerrieanne]

Your so not alone here...

I have a pile of ironing, the house needs a good dust and i try and stuff anything i can into the dish washer (it will fit)!!

Sleep, sleep, sleep thats all i do the house work can wait.

Don't get me wrong i don't live in a shit-tip but i do a bit then rest, do a bit then sleep, do a bit then Zzzzz...

 

[Olive]

Hi hun,

My house is a mess. I cba. I'm tired or feeling sick so just haven't got it in me. I don't think OH always understands but hoping he will now I've had scan and it's a bit more real for him at last!

xxxxx

 

[JensBump]

My house is a mess - so far OH has not complained about anything but then he has a very high mess threshold and I am usually the one wanting the place to look reasonably tidy - try not to worry - the tiredness in Tri 1 comes as a real shock to the system - before I got pregnant I was exercising 2 times a day - full time job and kept the house tidy - now all out the window LOL

 

[Nic36]

Same here... feel really guilty that the place is such a mess... have not been at work today, but just haven't been able to muster the energy to clean / tidy the place... washing is still in the machine and I cba to hang it up... really am dong the bare minimum to keep the place in a liveable state at the moment.

 

[TashaWink]

Don't worry about it! Before the baby arrives you might get the whole "Nesting" thing and the place will be SPOTLESS!

 

[JoJo79]

Same here my hubby has told me "he feels everythings falling to him" my answer to that was i asked him ONCE to do girls tea cos i felt sick and now he has to clean dog pen i dont think thats a lot,

He told me he'd realise more when im showing i told him its too late to start being bothered then!

My house is a mess, pots piled up, washing needing doing floors need sweeping i cba just wanna sleep when im not at work xxx

 

[lrb]

Oh is clearing up dog poo and cat, but says your pregnant not ill.. Grr he doesn't understand I'm tired I work with 2-5 yr old children who Are on the go all the time and I work part time but when I'm not at work I have no energy to do house stuff. How on earth do we explain to them that in the beginning our body is changing and I will be tired lol!!!! X

 

[Sarah13]

Tri 1 is the worst stage by far, feeling so sick and tired all day you can't do anything. Don't worry though your energy bounces back in tri 2, I've been to the gym, done housework, run my daughter about cut the front and back grass and washed our vw camper van today, plan to do the ironing tonight! Tri 3 your back just gets sore but you nest nest nest!

 

[Cazza]

I am very lucky, my OH is OCD about cleaning anyway!!

He's been fab, getting up extra early to walk the dogs before he goes to work, feeds the dogs and cats, does the housework and washing too!!

The only thing he doesn't do, which I can not stand at the moment is cook!!! He could burn boiling water bless him!!

 

[vickib_1984]

Mines the opposite he's really good he knows I'm a neat freak and he knows how tired I am he says to do if when I feel like it my house isn't dirty just the ironing needs doing and need to get caught up on the washing mind you he knows how poorly I was last time so he tells me to take it easy Im not suffering with ms just really tired plus I'm poorly with a bad ear infection so have slept twice today already xxxx

 

[lrb]

I'm lucky my oh does cook too thank god cause I'm like your oh cazza, I burn boiling water haha!!!!!
He's very protective about wrapping up and not lifting anything!

 

[hugsy]

Iv been having the sam prob im just so so tired but OH has been coming to bed earlier with me so he wont wake me coming in late which is nice but the housework is a nightmare, I keep telling him he needs to be doing more because its our house and our mess not hes not doing me a favour its just as much his job to do it in the first place but these things always fall to the women, But im not his mother and i dont want to nag him i just wish they could take it on them selves and do what needs to be done................. hmmmmmmm guess we all be waiting a long time LOL

Praying the tiredness will get better soon

 

[Esperanza84]

I'm sure you will get more energy once your past 1tri. My hubby is very understanding, but so far, I've managed to do most of the housework (as I work as a teacher, I stay at home these days), but I hope that when I start working again, that he will help me out, because I don't think I will stand a chance to do it all by myself.

 

[Lewa]

Thanks everyone! Glad to see it's not just me (or my husband) I guess we both just need patience for a while.

I try to do what I can, but I often just end up sitting in a chair doing nothing, or lying down on the floor doing nothing. Not sleepy enough to sleep, but too tired to even watch TV or anything, so I'll just sit there. When it's like that I'll have a really really hard time getting anything done..

The main thing I guess is to do what I can when I have a little extra energy at least. To show that I'm trying my best.

Hubby does almost all the cooking, which I really appreciate! (but he usually does that, and he enjoys cooking.. So even though that's very very nice right now, it's not that much "extra" help if you know what I mean.)

 

[peachypam]

Hey hun..get hubby a book.Not a big fat one but you can get small ones that are especially for fathers to be!

He should be more understanding as you are making a whole new human being!First 12 weeks are no fun.Tell him it will pass but until then you would really appreciate his help and support.

 

[Piglet10]

honestly - i dont blame men for not understanding, i mean how cud they, they dont bond like we do till babys here, they never fully are able to cope with baby 100% 24/7 (well not any i know) not for a long period of time BUT i think he should 'pretend' to understand, and he most defo shudnt be expecting u to do housework etc when ur not up to it! just ignore him xx

 

[ISH]

Mine is coping shockingly well, acting very pregnant, having lots of cravings, getting plumper by the day, and most importantly helping with most of the housework.

That being said, he doesn't seem very preoccupied with the actual baby, but that might be asking too much! That will come later.

 

[dyscochick]

ISH your post made me chuckle as mine swears he's having a sympathetic pregnancy with cravings, bloating etc. it's nice cos he seems to at least be sympathetic to hoe I feel, he's flicking through my baby book as I write! Hope that's a good sign of interest! X

 

[NinjaKitty]

My DH has been really good however his idea of clean is not mine. My house is a pit. I'm starting to feel a bit better with more energy now so I can start to pitch in a bit. Spent Tri1 sick and comatose.

Only thing is I've got a cupboard full of junk food which I hardly touch (went off a lot of stuff). DH has been taking advantage of this. Had to point out that I got 2 packs of the plain crisps and he had four AND I didn't get any of the Jaffa cake bars. He's gonna be rolling into the delivery suite at this rate.