How did you decide to become Stay at home mummy

[mrswoody]

Hi ladies,

I rarely post on these boards anymore.
A little background for those who don't know me, I have two gorgeous girls Madison (3in November) and Erraid (1). I am in the military and finally leaving in July.
I work full time and find it so hard with the girls, my husband is also in the military and works away from home and is home at weekends.
That is us.

I've been thinking about what I would like to do for a next career when I finally leave in July. I have thought about going into teaching (I teach adults at the moment) and have done some work placement and have really enjoyed it and thought it would be something I could do well in.

But recently I have thought about being a stay at home mum until the girls go off to school. Not full time, I would need a job to keep me ticking over but something part time I would be happy with I think.

How did you make the decision from being a full time working woman to either being a stay at home mum or working part time?
Do you regret it if so why?

I've never seen myself as a stay at home mum as I do enjoy my own space but the thought seems appealing.
Financially I think we would be OK.

Any advice/experiences appreciated.

Tia

Xx

 

[El1en]

I've always wanted to be a sahm but it's always looked like it wouldn't be possible financially. I'm currently due to go back to work full time next April. I already know I won't be going back full time, I would like to do two days but I don't know if my manager will have me back at that. I'm finding it difficult to figure out what we'd be like financially.

My oh runs our farm and in reality he doesn't bring lots of money home, however, his family as farmers and his mum was always at home so that's what he knows and he's will to "get by" for a while if I want to stay home until our youngest starts school. Of course I can and will help him on the farm if I stay home to.

It's a big decision to make, what does your husband think? Who looks after the girls now?

Could you train as a teacher part time while being at home?

 

[TTT]

I think being a sahm is one of the best things you can do for your children. I have started back one day a week but have stuff to do at him as we run our own business. I wont be going back full time until he goes to school as long as the business does ok.

 

[babyslog]

I have gone from full time(37.5hrs) to 22hrs a week since i returned from maternity leave, April 2014.

For me it was a no brainer. Mostly to do with the fact as my OH works weekends too he would be off in the week.
So we have always shared childcare between us. Did mean I hardly saw him as he would work late on the days he was in, accept OT when needed and works part of the weekend.

But it works for us. I work Mon, Tues, Fri.

I didnt see the point in going back full time to then pay almost my days wage in putting him into nursery. Id rather of not worked for the few days and spent it at home with my LB.

I couldnt afford to not work, but 22hrs works for us, we can afford what we need and still manage to save for a family holiday etc. Makes me wonder what I wasted my spare money on when I was FT!


Im not sure when id return FT. Im pregnant again and expecting May 2016. I think once we have finished making babies and they are all in full time school ill increase it, but still finish so I could collect them from school


Xx

 

[Holi]

I went from 37hrs (5days) to 29hrs (4days) after my little girl - really would have liked it to drop to 3 days but we couldn't afford and wanted a good maternity pay next time round. I use my holiday to take a day off every other week for most of the year so that helps massively. I'm pregnant again and I'll be leaving work March 16 o return April 17 - when I return I'll be requesting to drop to 3 days a week. I'll probaybstay at that til both kiddies are al school and then look at picking up more hours. Working part time has been an amazing experience I love having my long weekends with my child but I also enjoy my adult/work company and having my own spending money so I have best of both! X

 

[Baby2sky]

I was a full time sahm and it wasn't for me. I became depressed and lonely and needed that adult time. I went back to part time work which was perfect for us as money wasn't an issue. I will probably do part time until they both finish primary school as I want to be the one taking them to and from school. I couldn't work full time, 5 days a week 40 hours... It wouldn't make sense for me to do that. Equally I couldn't be stuck at home again full time as I was literally going crazy.

 

[Rooster30]

I'm a SAHM and always wanted to be. Definitely much harder than I ever thought but so so grateful for it and fortunate to be in a position where my OH can support us all financially.

 

[Ella1979]

I work two days (15 hours) a week and love it. For me, it's the best of both worlds. I get loads of time with my kids, but then a break with adult company and a different use of my brain when I'm at work. I plan to continue working two days for some time yet; even when they start school - I want to be able to take them and collect them, and that will be possible for more than half the week.

 

[Karenb]

I am a teacher and have no idea how I will juggle work load with having a little one when I go back. It's not an easy career to have a balanced work/home life, I wish I could afford to work much fewer hours x

 

[Goat]

I went from working 7-6 5 days a week to being a SAHM. I went back full time after my eldest was born and I got to see her 1 hr a day and that's only because she was waking at 5am each morning. Otherwise I wouldn't have seen her at all in the week. My mum had her so money wasn't an issue. However our plan was to get pregnant as soon as I was back in work so the long hours would be temporary. Plan worked thankfully. After having my second I just knew I didn't want to go back at all really. My work were crap at flexi time and I was offered 8-3 4 days a week which to me is pretty much full time but lower pay. So we decided to cut back and I handed in my notice and so far I don't regret it at all. I'm very busy with the girls and I've just started a breastfeeding peer support course to become a volunteer in local bf groups. That's 3 hrs a week away from the girls and to be honest I love that. But I definitely find myself very busy to not miss working full time. I miss the additional money but that's about it!

 

[CARNAT22]

I wish I could be a SAHM, sadly as OH is self employed we depend on my salary (he earns more but work isn't always there - he can have gaps between projects. Also he can get paid weekly / monthly / upon completion of job so we don't know from one job to the next WHEN the money comes in) so the plan is for him to be a SAHD and try to retrain so he can get a salaried job that pays as well as his current trade. Then I'm quitting lol.

If I could though I'd definitely have another year off.

Going back part time could be an option but we have a bit of debt to clear so I need FT hours for a bit.

X

 

[Alipops1986]

I am a teacher and have no idea how I will juggle work load with having a little one when I go back. It's not an easy career to have a balanced work/home life, I wish I could afford to work much fewer hours x

I recently returned to work, as a senior leader/teacher in a school, after taking 10 months maternity leave. I completely agree with Karen - the balance between workload and home life is insane. I managed to get my Head to allow me to work 4 days, wouldn't agree to any less, but i'm finding i'm actually doing the equivalent of 5 days work in the 4 days in order to keep up with everything.

Financially, working the 5th day wouldn't actually be that worthwhile, after the childcare and petrol costs over the month and i'd rather have the time with my little boy.

The only positive is that I enjoy my job and next time I go on maternity leave we'll at least have a fair wage to be able to take at least 10 months off.

I enjoyed my maternity leave, but was in some respects ready to go back to work, I would however prefer to work 3 days rather than 4.

Alipops x

 

[Baby2sky]

Im the same karen and ali. I was a teacher and senco and it really is an absolute nightmare to balance work and life. I actually quit my job and took on a role still in industry but with much less pressure which worked out nicely. I love my job, but teaching really isnt a family friendly vocation is it xxx

 

[littlemonkey]

I went back to work full time after my first baby and I hated it. The decision had been purely financial. I worked shifts and felt like I hardly ever had time with my husband and son together as a family. We knew we wanted children close in age so I did see it as a temporary situation, but if I hadn't got pregnant when I did with my second, I would have looked at going part time anyway. The hassle wasn't worth the money.

I'd always anticipated going back part time after my second anyway, but a lot of stuff has happened making it easier for me. I got made redundant from my old job while on maternity and was able to be redeployed into a new one with perfect hours, I'll now be working 5-10 in the evening 3-5 days a week. I will be home every day with my children. My OH got a promotion recently as well which has helped financially too. His days off will also be the same as mine now. Technically we could afford for me not to work, but it would be pretty tight money wise. At least if I'm working we can afford a few more little luxuries.

I enjoy being home all day with my children. I have a good social circle around me though. If it was just me and the boys all day every day I'd goxcrackers.

 

[Pin badge]

I was working full time as an SEN teaching assistant when my daughter was born, I had also qualified as a teacher the month before she was conceived. I was a SAHM for the first year of her life and now work in customer service 2 afternoons a week while my parents look after her.

I won't be going into teaching to do my NQT year while she is little, I'm now pregnant again and due in March so I can see it being a long way off. As others have said it is a huge amount of work and very difficult to find a balance. I'm lucky in that my husband earns a very good wage meaning I don't have to work but the downside is he travels a lot which would be very difficult to manage if I was out of the house by 7am and not home until late eg parents evenings etc.

My parents live 40 miles away so it would be too much to ask them to have her for longer.

My advice would be to think long and hand, such a rewarding career but such hard work too! Xx

 

[Karenb]

I am a teacher and have no idea how I will juggle work load with having a little one when I go back. It's not an easy career to have a balanced work/home life, I wish I could afford to work much fewer hours x

I recently returned to work, as a senior leader/teacher in a school, after taking 10 months maternity leave. I completely agree with Karen - the balance between workload and home life is insane. I managed to get my Head to allow me to work 4 days, wouldn't agree to any less, but i'm finding i'm actually doing the equivalent of 5 days work in the 4 days in order to keep up with everything.

Financially, working the 5th day wouldn't actually be that worthwhile, after the childcare and petrol costs over the month and i'd rather have the time with my little boy.

The only positive is that I enjoy my job and next time I go on maternity leave we'll at least have a fair wage to be able to take at least 10 months off.

I enjoyed my maternity leave, but was in some respects ready to go back to work, I would however prefer to work 3 days rather than 4.

Alipops x

My work have said I need to back full time in March and then drop to 4 days from the September, I'm dreading it as we're due ofsted next year too love my job but the hours are ridiculous. Sad how you dedicate so much time to children but your own suffer for it (when I say suffer, I mean have you working so much, sure they are very happy children!!)

 

[Alipops1986]

I am a teacher and have no idea how I will juggle work load with having a little one when I go back. It's not an easy career to have a balanced work/home life, I wish I could afford to work much fewer hours x

I recently returned to work, as a senior leader/teacher in a school, after taking 10 months maternity leave. I completely agree with Karen - the balance between workload and home life is insane. I managed to get my Head to allow me to work 4 days, wouldn't agree to any less, but i'm finding i'm actually doing the equivalent of 5 days work in the 4 days in order to keep up with everything.

Financially, working the 5th day wouldn't actually be that worthwhile, after the childcare and petrol costs over the month and i'd rather have the time with my little boy.

The only positive is that I enjoy my job and next time I go on maternity leave we'll at least have a fair wage to be able to take at least 10 months off.

I enjoyed my maternity leave, but was in some respects ready to go back to work, I would however prefer to work 3 days rather than 4.

Alipops x

My work have said I need to back full time in March and then drop to 4 days from the September, I'm dreading it as we're due ofsted next year too love my job but the hours are ridiculous. Sad how you dedicate so much time to children but your own suffer for it (when I say suffer, I mean have you working so much, sure they are very happy children!!)

Do you work in Primary or Secondary Karen? The same happened to my primary teacher friend, she had to go back full time until the September, then was allowed to drop to 3 days.

Currently, i'm the only part time member of SLT/Teaching staff but this is about to change as another teacher is pregnant, and is hoping she'll be able to drop to 3/4 days due to the cost of childcare mostly. This is going to start making timetabling difficult, as we're a small secondary school - it's going to be interesting, especially as i've been granted 4 days, i'd imagine it'd be a struggle to decline others now potentially.

 

[Belfa]

I think ill go back part time, mostly due to the fact I miss adult company and the normality of 9-5 life (never thought I'd say that!). My husband is starting a new company so i have no idea how we will be financially.

Someone recently introduced me to something I can do from home when LO is in bed and it's been great making some extra money whilst I would otherwise have just been watching TV and it's introduced me to a new group of friends. If anyone wants info you can PM me as I don't want to be seen to be spamming the thread x

 

[Lucyboo]

I'll be going back part time, again as I need that adult time. I'd go mad not working, as much as I love being at home with our little girl. just wanting my managers to get their butts in gear and arrange my meeting to sort out my pattern. I'll be hoping to get a 2 week on 2 week off pattern as that's all they offer the part time mums and in that 2 week block I work full time. Hoping it'll work, if it doesn't I'll give it a few months as the money is good for the hours I'll be doing.

 

[tinselcat]

I'm going back part-time for the first 6 months (3 days a week). The only thing that's keeping me returning to a job I didn't particularly like!

If I could, I'd be a full-time SAHM but as a single mummy I don't see how that would work in practice.

You only get to see your babies grow up once in your, what, 50-odd working years and apparently their personalities are forged in the first 3 years of their lives. I didn't want to have children so that someone else could bring them up. (Note: I'm not criticising anyone who does put baby in nursery/with nanny, as this is what I'll have to do, just stating how I've always felt on the subject for myself!)