How did you decide its finally over

[cloud9]

I keep wanting things to work and be a family again things seem to get better then i have a really bad day and think it will never work

what was the final straw for you and did you keep trying to make it work longer than you should?

 

[Misslarue]

That's a toughie hun. I've been with my OH for nearly 7 years. Sometimes it's easy, soooo easy and sometimes it's harder than I can believe!

For me there's no soul mates, no meant to be. It takes hard work and commitment to stay in a long term relationship. As long as you are not beaten, living with a drunk/drugs, it could be worth fighting for......................................don't ask me I ask myself that same question from time to time
I'll be interested to read your replys

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

I got to the final straw when i was 20weeks pregnant when i found out my ex had cheated and had been takin drugs but i was convinced by him and all he's family he WOULDN'T do it any

So we stayed together things weren't good i was soo insecure i was checkin he's fone.. never found anythin....

Then 3 months after Keeley was born he reacieved a message at 6am from what seemed to be a girl i phoned her and SHE had ago at me for answering HE's phone so i said" wel it was gonna wake the baby!"... her reaction " WHAT BABY?" GRRRR I was like "he's 3 motnh old baby.

he left me for another girl... I asked him how when there were no girls names in he's phone he had hiden her number under a boy names He left mine where he had been livin for the last 12months and straight to her house

For me i really wanted to leave when i was pregnant i could have walked away then a little bit hurt but not as much as it hurt when i had just had a baby...

Lookin back now i'm glad he did what he did as for me if i had ended it when i was pregnant i think my emotions would have made me go back but this way as weird as it sounds i WOULD never go back

Me and Keeley are worth a millon of him

Cloud only you can make the desicon and i do belive relationships don't just work they need workin at

If you decide not to carry on with the realationship my only advice is to keep your self busy for the first few weeks join some baby groups go see some mates .... it does get easier...

I couldn't imagaine living with a man now and have to share Keeley

Sorry for the long story

 

[Louise1973]

Hi There,

I think it was actually being pregnant that 'sealed the fate' of my relationship actually. I'd been unhappy for a few months and was just working through it trying to figure out my feelings and if it was just a phase...

Then I found out I was pregnant and was ecstatic about that but in all honesty felt a huge weight on my shoulders and was feeling even more trapped in the relationship then before wondering if I was doing the right thing in staying and giving it a go for the sake of our unborn child.

BUT - you only get one life and I want that to be as happy as possible - for me that meant ending the relationship no matter how scared of the future I am.

I ended the relationship when I was 7weeks and am now 13weeks. I have no regrets, and my ex and I are working together to decide how we will manage care/access/maintenance etc. throughout the pregnancy and birth of our baby. It's hard - with differences of opinions - but we both want the best for our little one.

Only you know how you feel - just do whats right for you. If you need someone to listen, feel free to get in contact.

Take care hun.

Lou

 

[Squiglet]

I wish that I had walked away from my ex when I was pregnant with my daughter. But I didn't.... I stayed to try and make it work for the baby's sake and it didn't work....as it never does when that is the only reason you are together.... Our relationship deteriorated and finally after several affairs, violence and his need to start to deal drugs from our home, I left. But the damage was already done. My daughter knows him and remembers him, and whats worse is that now, as he has no contact with her (birthday had just gone by and he hasn't even sent her a card and you can forget about maintenance), my daughter is really hurt that her "daddy" doesn't love he, as she puts it, and she blames herself for that. She doesn't deserve that.

I think there is no time when you realise it's over, what you realise is that he will never change and he doesn't want to and it doesn't matter what you say or do, until he wants to change and proves it, he just won't. You can't keep living your life on the hope that one day you will wake up and he will be the man of your dreams....or even have improved slightly. You need to realise that you don't require a man to complete your life....you need you and you alone. Your priorities are to your child.

 

[Becksss]

I left damien as we had 6 week old tiiiiny kittens in 1 of his rages he had me by the throat agaisht the wall being 4 and a half months preg i pushed him away and he trod on 1 of the kittens breaking its little leg
I was distraught and i imagined that being riley
in the wrong place at the wrong time
so no i had to leave

 

[Becksss]

I left damien as we had 6 week old tiiiiny kittens in 1 of his rages he had me by the throat agaisht the wall being 4 and a half months preg i pushed him away and he trod on 1 of the kittens breaking its little leg
I was distraught and i imagined that being riley
in the wrong place at the wrong time
so no i had to leave

 

[Becksss]

I left damien as we had 6 week old tiiiiny kittens in 1 of his rages he had me by the throat agaisht the wall being 4 and a half months preg i pushed him away and he trod on 1 of the kittens breaking its little leg
I was distraught and i imagined that being riley
in the wrong place at the wrong time
so no i had to leave

 

[Jade_Number1]

with my ex it was when he kicked me down the stairs. I limped out with my handbag and nothing else and crawled 2 miles with a broken leg to my mums (who drove me 1.5 miles back to the hospital lmao!)

For me, that was when I realised that no matter how much you want someone to love you you can't stop loving yourself. luckily, my OH now is the most loving and kind person I know and wouldn't lay a finger on me or our baby.

some men are real idiots!

 

[skimpy]

I keep wanting things to work and be a family again things seem to get better then i have a really bad day and think it will never work

what was the final straw for you and did you keep trying to make it work longer than you should?

I knew it was over when my OH got abusuve on Xmas eve (last night). while i was driving, he was being verbal, and demanded i stiop the car. by the time i could think, he had pulled on the handbrake and we were headed for a wall. it was then that i punched him out of the car, locked it and drove away.

but he had the cheek to come back, and when he did, it resulted in me being thrown around the living room and the flat being trashed. all the christmas presents for family/friends ruined.

i called the police and gave a formal statement. tonight they are still trying to find him. but i know for a fact that he is at his parents, and the police have looked there THREE times. so they are hiding him.




I did try to make things work for too long. he has always had a drink problem, but since i fell pregnant, it has spiralled out of control, and it always did anyway at christmas.

Went to hospital today, got a scan, n o sign of bleeding and the baby is fine. was due my first scan on thursday, and this wasnt the circumstances i wanted to see my baby for the first time under. but at least bubs is ok.




i would like to add that my oh was a decent person, who studied and got a degree, secured a well paid job and could offer support financially and emotionally at times. but when he drank, he could become an animal.
domestic abusers come in all shapes and sizes...but i never thought he would be one.




Sorry for the long winded response, but i hope this makes other women realise that a verbally abusive partner can become a physical abuser, and you shouldn't let it keep going. you might end up like me with your and your family's christmas ruined, and fear for your unborn child's life.

Take care all

 

[MissSara]

i'm sorry about that skimpy, it must have been awful.

I tried to stay with my ex for my sons sake but he cheated to many times and broke my heart more than once, i knew it was going no where but it actually took him to walk out on me and my son for me to realise that. Amazing how he broke me down to a insecure wreck that needed him, i am a better, stronger, confident person with my OH now because of that ex.

 

[Sherlock]

Sorry to hear skimpy

You did the right thing and you can now focus on you and your little one. Sounds like you have supportive family (I read about your scan and your Dad going with you and I'm sure you'll be much better without him now its gotten to this point.

 

[Urchin]

I hope you are OK skimpy

 

[sherese]

baby # 3 for my 7 years and tried many times ,gave last chance to make it right and he cheated ,stayed out ,(no calls) and expected it 2 work.Decided 2 do # 3 on my own ,4 my health and my babies.good luck