help please

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by gypsy, Nov 27, 2007.

  1. gypsy

    gypsy Well-Known Member

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    I had an emergency scan this morning and they found a sac but it was empty.
    I have to decide whether to let nature take its course or go in and have a scrap.
    Any suggestions.

    This is my 2nd miscarriage and last time I was taken in automatically as I had pains but am not experiencing that at the moment.
    Please advise me as I am in no fit state to think straight,.

    Shell
     
  2. KateQPR

    KateQPR Well-Known Member

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    Hi Gypsy

    I'm so sorry - i went through this last week and went to hospital because i was in so much pain. I miscarried in hopsital without needing a proceedure but it was very painful and scary (but it was my first experience of this too, so i didn't know what to expect)

    Did you doctor's give you any advice as to what would be best? I suppose it's whether you've got the energy (emotionally and physically) to go through either the hospital route, or being at home but possibly a slightly more painful experience.

    I'm sure the other girls on here who have been through a D&C can help...

    x
     
  3. babydust

    babydust Well-Known Member

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    :hug: sorry gypsy :hug:
    its really a personal choice what would be best for you, i have had 4 d&c's now and i just couldnt cope with it happening naturally i just wanted it over with i didnt want to wait about the house for it to happen, with the d&c i felt like i could start with the emotional grief better sooner.

    after my d&c's i only really bled like a light period and i wasnt in that much pain, i have recently had a chemical pregnancy which i bled for a week and had really bad cramp so my personal choice would be to have a d&c

    let us know what you decide to do and feel free to pm me if you want to chat.
     
  4. CharlieOne

    CharlieOne Well-Known Member

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    Sweatheart, I am so sorry to hear this, Has for the chioce of what to do its really up to you, When i miscarriage it all happened natrually and a few weeks on now i am still bleading even so lightly, so for me it feel like its been going on forever, i became very very ill with loosing so so much blood on the first night, im not sure what happens in a D & C but if that gets it over with straight away i would say go down that route, will give you chance to emotially grieft and not have to go thro so too much physcially...if that makes sense...

    Wish there was more i could say Sweatie....

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  5. Petra

    Petra Well-Known Member

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    Hi Gypsy, I am so sorry for your loss. :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I have miscarried over a month ago. I was too afraid of having the D & C so decided to go for the expectant management. I was heavily bleeding for 6 days and had lots of pain. I passed huge blood clots and every time I was checking if it was the sack ( so awfull :oops: ) The doctors say that you can not miss it but I thought that it was never ending.. Eventually I passed it over night and found it in the morning.. terrible experience. I kept bleeding for another week or so after that. Just then I could start my grief.. I should have gone for D & C and have it over and done with on the same day then going through this hell for ages.

    As others say this is really your choice. Sorry I can't me much more of help :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  6. Kimberly

    Kimberly Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry to read this :hug: :hug: This board really helped me after my miscarriage. As others have said, it is a personal choice. I had no bleeding or signs of a miscarriage so I opted for the D&C. I wanted it over as soon as possible and couldn't cope with waiting for my body to miscarry naturally. I had very strong period like cramps for a couple hours after the surgery, but then I was fine. I think I would choose that option again if I'm ever faced with the choice.

    :hug: Take care of yourself :hug:
     
  7. x Naomi x

    x Naomi x Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun so so sorry for your loss :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I didnt have a d &c with my loss as it was earlier on and i didnt need it although i did find the two weeks of bleeding - first week spotting and second like a heavy period quite long and i think it is personal preference but may be less traumatic if you had a d & c

    Thinking of you hun at this dreadful time

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  8. Steelgoddess

    Steelgoddess Well-Known Member

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    Oh you poor love im so sorry to hear of your losses :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I had a d and c and felt ok afterwards, I personally wouldnt of been able to cope with the constant bleed and if you don't have a d and c you have to bleed the sac eventually not sure how I would of handled that :(

    I hope things work for you in the future hun...

    xxx

    :hug:
     
  9. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for your loss :hug: .

    I had a missed m/c like you at the end of September at 10 weeks pregnant. It started with a dramatic loss of blood and material out of the blue and I ended up in hospital over night but didn't pass the sac at that point. I wanted a D&C but they put me on a waiting list and when it got to the day (about 5 days after I'd started bleeding) I had passed enough for them not to do one but I actually passed the sac three days afterwards so I think it must have been lying on the bottom of my womb during the scan or something.

    I was really scared about the general anesthetic part of the D&C but having said that if the same happened again and I was offered one straight away I would go for it as being at home too scared to move out of the house because of the heavy bleeding and having to check all the clots for the sac was not easy to deal with and made a very difficult time worse in a lot of ways. I bled for 2 weeks in all and had a period 28 days after I first started bleeding. It kind of felt like the worst period ever, I felt totally drained physically and emotionally although the pain wasn't too bad for me.

    I think it depends on how you feel about it all to be honest. Did you have a D&C before? I am so so sorry for your loss and am thinking of you and remembering how it felt when it first happened :(. If you have any questions about letting nature take its course feel free to PM me.

    :hug: :hug:
    +++
     
  10. gypsy

    gypsy Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my thread.
    I had ad+c last year and I think I am going to phone the epu this morning and tell them I have opted to take this option again.
    At least then I know it is final.
    I am worried that if I leave it I have to go back in 3 weeks for another scan and if everything hasn't cleared I will have to go in anyway, and that will be straight on top of xmas.

    Once again thank you all. I am sure I will be posting in the TTC section before long.......in fact I have another bit to add that I am worried about.

    I am worried that I am going to become obsessed about conceiving again. Last year we weren't actively trying to conceive we just decide the birth control would not be taken and see what would happen.
    I know this time I am going to be worse as I have already been looking on ebay for ovulating kits...........any advice?
     
  11. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    I think that's what I'd do too if I were in your situation- it would be hard to wait for it to happen then have to have a D&C anyway. :hug:

    As for being obsessed about TTC- yes! I was quite keen before we got pregnant last time but once I had m/c my hormones really started raging- and my mind as well I guess. You just want to fill the void that's left I think and your body and your mind are both screaming at you. I did wait until after my first AF post-m/c but you don't have to. Didn't get PG last month but I was pretty obsessed, am pretty obsessed it has to be said. Poor OH looked like a hunted deer for most of the month! This month I have ovulation tests because I'm not sure that my cycle isn't slightly out after the m/c.

    Not sure I have advice hun as I'm in the thick of it! I am trying not to transmit this to my OH because quite frankly at times last month I was so on a mission that it was almost scary! All I can say is that there are lots of us here in the same boat and hopefully we can try and help each other get through all of this.

    :hug: :hug:
    +++
     
  12. gypsy

    gypsy Well-Known Member

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    we have phoned the hospital this morning and I have to go Friday to fill in the forms and then they will book me in for an appointment for next week!!!!!!!!!

    The way I am going though I will have done it myself I think as I have passed 2 massive clots this morning and I am heavily bleeding.

    Can anyone tell me if there is a difference between the clots and the sac, and how do i know if I have passed the sac?

    Sorry for all the tmi bits................. :oops:
     
  13. babydust

    babydust Well-Known Member

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    sorry but i dont really know as i never bled i always had a d&c but it sounds like you probabally wont need to have the d&c, if the clots were massive i would say that its a big possability that it could have been the sac, maybe someone here thats had a complete m/c themself could help you more :hug:

    p.s remember if you have alot of pain or are bleeding really heavy contact the hospital asap.
    :hug:
    do you have someone with you at home to support you?
     
  14. gypsy

    gypsy Well-Known Member

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    I am at home by myself at the moment. The boys have to go to nursery at 12.30 so I have someone taking them for me.

    I am thinking I have passed the sac myself as the pain has subsided a little. I'll give it until tomorrow afternoon and then phone the epu.

    Shell
     
  15. babydust

    babydust Well-Known Member

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    :hug: take care
    what age are your boys?, i have 2 girls at nursery in the afternoons, its good you have somone to take them for you, make the most of the time when they are away and have a rest :hug:
     
  16. gypsy

    gypsy Well-Known Member

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    I have an 11 year old boy and 3 year old twin boys.
    It has been suggested to me, by a friend as to whether my miscarriages were girls as David was a twin also, with a girl and I lost her.....
    I have never thought about it before but perhaps I don;t do girls..... :(
     
  17. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Ok- sorry for TMI in advance but when I passed what I think was the sac it was quite different to everything else- kind of kidney shaped and about 2" long. I passed huge fist shaped and sized clots in hospital but I think that was the placenta. It was very frightening, have you got someone who can come over and be with you? Also if you're losing a lot of blood like it sounds like you are do be careful not to lock the door to the loo in case you pass out as someone on here did that when she was going through this. Rest in bed if you can, can you get your OH back from work to look after the kids? My obs were all over the place when I got to hospital and they put me on a drip overnight as it is a big thing to happen to your body when you're that far along.

    They can scan you again if you think you've passed it.

    Huge :hug:
    Please take it easy
    Here if you have any more questions/need to talk
    +++
    p.s. if you get worried about the blood loss or pain you can go back to hospital
     
  18. babydust

    babydust Well-Known Member

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    how are you doing now?
    dont go down that road of it being something to do with it being girls, i have lost pregnancies and i know 2 were boys i dont know what the other 2 were, but my dr wont entertain the thought that i cant carry boys, i even went as far as to track a professor down in the states who does sex linked testing, but my dr wouldnt entertain it :roll: then i thought at the end of the day if it is found to be the case the only way round it would be ivf, so i would rather give it another shot myself.
     
  19. gypsy

    gypsy Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that Babydust. I was ok yesterday but today it has hitme like a thunderbolt. I am very down and angry more than anything and I am more determined than ever to be pregnant again(just about to put a post up about how long o leave it)

    I have to go to hospital tomorrow to have another scan to see if I need a d+c but I don't think I need it. I wasliterally having mildcontractions yesterday and was in alot of pain and I think the sac has passed (sorry TMI)
    Today I have had very little pain. I guess I should be thankful for small mercys.

    Shell
     

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