Help after baby is here - am I being unrealistic...

[Lolly85x]

I'm nearly 33 weeks now 1st baby and I'd say having a really good pregnancy, no problems etc... I have no idea what's going to happen to me in labour, wish we all did...! Ha... But my friend whose due 5weeks after me, has got me thinking...
I was planning obviously getting home ASAP with baby, and my boyfriend gets 2weeks paternity leave that starts the day after the baby is born. He works Monday - Friday 8.30 till 5 and is only 10mins drive away, so know he's always close if I need him.
Anyway... On his return to work, I was planning on it just being me and the baby, getting into a routine etc... Need to be left on my own at some point! But my friend just informed me her bf will be off for 3weeks, then her dad has taken a week off to spend with her, then her mum the following week, then her sister the following week, so she has 6weeks worth of help, so she can sleep and help with baby etc...
So it's got me thinking... Am I being too ambitious?!?! I dare say I will have visitors, and people popping in...xxx

 

[Jayjay027]

No ur doing what most of us have to do.
Some people need constant care after their baby is born, but most of us just get on with it.
In my opinion, the sooner u can get baby into a routine, the better. X

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[dollface79]

Personally i would not want all the help, my partner yes and visitors is fine... but i wont be asking anyone to take time off to come and look after the baby for me. The first few weeks is where the bond is built between mum and baby and that's what i want.

Maybe she doens't think she can cope on her own?

Lisa x

 

[Lolly85x]

Thanks ladies... I mean in sure if I was really struggling my mum would be here in a flash, or my
Sister... Just thought it was normal to get on with it!
Yeah maybe she doesn't! Who knows... Aslong as i know I'm not mad!x

 

[Hope81]

My oh will have 3 weeks of paternity leave after that my parents will come for 1 month ( not my choice actually they live in a different country and just come to visit the baby)
I would much prefer them to not come for so long and to not come immediately...
I need time to get into a routine and with people constantly around giving their option about how things have to be done etc that is not going to happen....
When I told my mum my thoughts about that she told me that I have no idea how important and welcomed will be to have someone to make warm food, do the washing, clean the house and watch the baby while I relax and recover

Well as I can't do any different I suppose we will see how that will go... Thanks god we have a huge house and we don't need to all be crowded in one room...

 

[Jaxx01]

I think you'll be fine hun! It does take a lot of getting used to! Such a small bundle can't create massive havoc lol but honestly like you said its good when the ohara go back to work do you mean get into a routine and get yourself sorted

I'm sure you'll be fine!! Xx

 

[Jaxx01]

I had five days with my mum then I was back home with a Newbirn and a 4 year old lol x

 

[babyem]

My OH is having somewhere between 2-3 weeks off when the baby is here and my Dad has offered to take 2 weeks off to help me when OH goes back to work (I've never hinted or asked for any help). Nobody knows what will happen when baby is here, so it's nice to know I have help if needed and I think that it will be good for baby to bond with the rest of the family as well. I can still have a routine as well as spend time with family x

 

[Beximillian]

Ooh heck no I want to be left alone! Obviously we'll have every Tom, Dick and Harry coming to visit I'm sure, and that's fine, but I certainly won't be having and won't want constant help. OH will be off for a month which is awesome, but as you've said, I want us to learn OUR routine and how we'll be doing things, not with other people poking their noses in! x

 

[SunnySue]

I dont think you are being too ambitious - I think you are being realistic! Whilst I think your friend is lucky to have such a good support network, I do think it's important that you get into a routine and get used to looking after your baby yourself. My OH had 2 weeks paternity leave and then I was on my own (as is the case for most women I know) and to be honest I was glad to get settled and spend some one on one time with the lo. You will be fine

 

[Karate Kid]

I really want to be left to it! Hubby gets two weeks paternity leave and he has some annual leave if I need him around. Both my MIL and mother have offered to stay with us after LO is born, it's really coming in our culture to either go and stay with parents or for them to stay with you after you have a baby but I couldn't think if anything worse! I think having parents help on the odd days will be lovely but I really would like to be able to do things in the way that hubby and I see fit. I don't think you are being unrealistic at all hun xx

 

[Butterflykisses]

My dh will have couple weeks paternity and then I'll b left to it. I think sooner this happens the better as it helps mummy and baby get into a routine. My mum and sister are close by if I get stuck and dh also has holidays he can take if necessary.

 

[Samsgirl]

i was so poorly after the birth that i needed lots of help! i never had anyone here with me 24/7 after OH went back to work, but my mum popped in every morning to check i was okay and to allow me time to have a shower etc...she was also there at the end of the phone if i needed her

that's all you need really...someone there if u need them.....

but as i say, the first 2 weeks i was useless cos of the birth and so having hubby there was invaluable..

dont try and do it all yourself......it doesnt mean you are a failure if you ask for help, thats all i will say cos it's hard work in those first few weeks xx

 

[mrswoody]

My oh has 2 weeks off once baby is here. My MIL has offered to come down a few days after we are home to help around the house and to visit her first grand child. I am still a funny with her coming down but I know it's not to interfere or to look after baby it's so I can get baby into a routine and oh and me can enjoy being a family. It's a lovely gesture and I would feel a bit tight if I told her no. x

 

[Laura1391]

I was really worried about being on my own as OH will only be having a couple of days off so im going to stay with my mum straight after and ive got my mum and stepdad who have said they are going to let me get on with it then my two sisters who will help as much as i need them too! I only wanted to stay there for a couple of nights so if something happens ive got someone there but the health visitor has told me it would be best for me to stay there for 10 days so she can do all the checks....this is going to drive me mad!!!!!! I think if you can be on your own with LO asap it will be good as you can get to know baby one on one and a routine! Im sure you will be find and glad of the peace dont forget all the visitors you will have xxxx

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Your not been silly hun your been normal

I don't want anyone to visit for the first month. Hubby will be having 1 to 2 weeks off to help as I might need a c-section with my athritus. but once baby is born I can go back on my athritus meds and should start to feel better by end of 2 weeks which will give me 2 weeks to get into a routine with hubby back at work.

Then I'll be ready for people to come in and keep picking baby up and try not to slap them as they tell me how I should be a mum

 

[jillianglen]

my oh can only afford to take a week off due to being self emloyed and then i will be on my own but my mil only stays 5 mins away (poor mum is an hour away ) so i could call her if i needed any help and the best friend with 3 kids under 5 is on speed dial lol

 

[Leah04x]

Definitely not!
Personally, I wouldn't want family to take time off especially to help look our my baby..
My OH will be taking a few weeks off, and we will be expecting visitors of course xx

 

[Lolly85x]

Thanks ladies!!! Definetly put my mind at rest that I'm doing the right thing, I'm pretty sure my mum will take the odd day off if I need her! Glad most of you are of the same opinion as me thanks ladies!!! Phew!!
I'm definetly looking forward to that first wee while having baby to myself and getting to know him/her!!!xx

 

[AugustMum]

Being a single mum I stayed in hospital after having my c section and 3 days later got home and I was on my own straight away. I lived with my parents so had help in the evening sometimes but you just get on with it. Personally I enjoyed just relaxing and sitting in filth while I relaxed when LO slept lol.

Youll be just fine Some people like the extra support but it's not a requirement.