Am I being unreasonable?

[Bee7]

Just got into a major text war with OH about money. Basically we already have a hand-me-down cot. Obviously we need to buy a new mattress etc, but the cot itself is in good condition and even though it's not the colour/style i would have picked myself i think its fine for baby, and it was free which was a massive help financially.

But we have now been offered a darker wood changing table and last night we saw a really beautiful cot bed in a shop that would match it perfectly. OH wants to buy the new cot even though its over £200 but personally (although it would be nice to have new/matching furniture) i don't think its a luxury we can really afford right now. However hes arguing that he can spend his money on what he wants. I just think we're going to have so much expense that we should be using money to buy things we need, not things we already have.

OH and i have had problems with money in the past (his lack of common sense with it) and maybe i am being a bit harsh, but i just would like to see him budgeting and being a bit more sensible. Am i being mean? xx

 

[Nic36]

Not mean at all in my opinion. In an ideal world it would be lovely to have everything new and matching, but to be honest that is just an extravagance that lots of us can't afford. The baby will not care or know whether the cot matches the other furniture. He/she wants to be comfortable and that is all. There are so many things to buy for a new baby that it makes sense to save where you can... That s what I am trying to do - really shopping around for bargains!
I think once LO is a bit older he/she will be able to express preferences and then it will be more important to buy certain things that he / she likes... Save your pennies now so you will have more later!
Be strong and stick to what you know is th sensible thing to do!!!! Good luck!

 

[tillzy69]

I totally agree with with Nic36. Your not being mean at all. Like she said we would all like the 'best' for our kids but its not a necessity to be all matching as the baby wont care about anything like that! I already have a wardrobe/draws that belonged to my cousin and i'm buying a cot similar colour but wont be identical but as long as baby has what baby needs thats all that matters. Wait til they're teenagers wanting this that and the other then you and your OH can have serious talks about the situation!!!

 

[BevG]

lol tell him it could be worse. my lil girls room is blue and white, almost everything i could get is 2nd hand and im having washable nappies to save money. not spending anything that i dont need to cos i just cant afford to. my OH agrees so its good for us. he could always sand down and stain the cot the same colour

 

[l_maclean]

I dont think its being mean at all. - we all want our Lo's to have the best we can give them, and matching stuff is nice. but lets be honest - they're not gonna know the difference. lol

Could you suggest maybe he'd be better saving the money and buying matching furniture when LO is a bit older - like a proper bed that wil last longer - when LO will notice it matches.
xxx

 

[Rachel1509]

Definately not being unreasonable. You sound like me! Me and the OH have been experiencing money problems for months, which usually results in me nagging constantly and going on and on and being really tight about everything. Even though I nag about money all the time and make cut backs constantly, it always pays off because it gets the bills paid and the rent paid, and OH eventually realises it's worth it. He isn't sensible with money so I end up telling him off all the time!

If you don't mind having things that don't match, then that's a sacrifice you have to take. LO won't exactly notice if his cot is pine but his changing table is beech effect (for example!). As long as he has those things in the first place is all that matters

Good luck getting the OH to see that though!

 

[BabyBrain]

If he's really that intent on getting a matching coloured cot there's loads cheaper than 200 squidlies....

http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/categories/departments/childrens_ikea/18755/

But personally I agree with you and think it's a waste of money if you already have a free one. LO won't care less, I spent my first few nights in a drawer lmao and I turned out fine....I think xxxxxxxxx

 

[Bee7]

Thanks ladies, i'm glad it's not just me. On one hand i'm pleased that he actually wants to spend his money on things for baby, but we just have very different ideas about what's necessary and what's not. I think he's planning on paying for this cot (if we get in) with some bonus money he'll be getting next year which i suppose makes it slightly better, but even so...it could go on something else!! Don't think i'll be able to make him see this though and could do without the stress or arguing about it with him xxx

 

[bute69]

No, you're not being mean. You're being incredibly sensible! I have the same problem with my OH regarding money. We're really strapped for cash so will have to budget on everything. He wants to spend money we don't have on lovely baby items. Yes, I'd love them, but the money just isn't there and we will have to make do with good condition used items for now.

 

[angie84]

im getting a new cot only cause MIL is buying it for us as she brought a cot for the other grandkids. but if she wasnt i would have to get a 2nd hand one. ive brought a 2nd hand pram, 2nd cloathes etc. we cant afford to be buying loads of things brand new.
i think every peny counts.

 

[Bee7]

Every penny does count, especially when you don't have much. I'm in a massive panic at the moment over money. At the moment we're ok, but once we get into the new house, have baba and i go stat pay then part time hours we're going to have a massive drop in earnings. OH doesn't seem to realise this. We're both on low incomes as it is and i just can't stop worrying about how we'll cope. He seems to think that cos the money will be coming out of his bonus then it's ok cos its 'extra' money, but even so it could go on something else. Really not sure if i'm gona win this argument though and i'd rather see it go on a cot then new golf clubs or something. Grrrr MEN! xxx

 

[angie84]

yer my hubby likes expensive things, like seround sound, xbox and games etc.
weve just brought a house. but had to lend some of the depoist money off MIL. gotta start paying her back in feb.
im dreading loosing half my wage. im gonna have to bring the baby to work with me some days to bump up my money.
we both arnt on amazing wages. mines crap. but i love my job, and work for my mum.
ive 3 moses baskets in my mums loft. im gonna be using them. we use a company of little girls dresses etc, found out they do the moses basket matresses. so i can get them at wholesale price.
im stressing about money.

 

[Lulabell]

Why not sand and stain the existing cot you have to match? It would be alot cheaper that way.xx

 

[mrsblue]

or you could look on gumtree/freecycle for some bargains - plenty of people can afford to give away their old furniture or sell it at a cheap price. £200 sounds a lot for something you don't need, I think you have your head screwed on! x

 

[Bee7]

Another argument from OH's corner is that this is a cotBED and will therefore save us money in a few years when bubs gets too big for a cot. Personally i think he just likes the engraved teddy bears.

I guess we'll have to see what our finances are like and how much bonus he gets. If it's not much then i really will put my foot down and say no. But even though i know i'm being sensible, i don't want to destroy his enthusiasm for buying things for baby. Otherwise he might just go and spend money on something equally useless for himself. Sometimes feel like i'm gona have two babys to keep an eye on! xx

 

[hellywelly]

I think you're right. Our baby already has the nickname secondhand Sid!!!! And I'm taking all the cast offs my rellies keep throwing at me. My way of thinking is the less I have to shell out now, the more time I can have off with baby as I will be able to save more and not worry about going back to work as quickly. Stick to your guns, and if you win the lottery, treat yourself!!! lol