He just won't effing toilet train. End of my tether

[Rooster30]

Hey Nat, I haven't read through all the responses but if it makes you feel any better my boy of the same age is still nowhere near ready. Thankfully his preschool are nappy friendly and I've spoken to them about our potty training hell and they agree that he just isn't ready so I'm just not considering trying again for the time being.

But I so understand the frustration. When I last tried I just got so so wound up. We both ended up in tears. Nappies are their security blanket and with little sisters arriving they might just want their security blanket even more. My son has been poorly lately and was poorly when his sister first arrived so he's just been off.

But yes, I don't understand how my boy can be so smart yet just not grasp this potty training lark. Grrr. Ruddy hate potty training

If you ever want to have a potty training koan then PM me.

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry that some of you are suffering as well, but selfishly I am a little glad James isn't the only one.

I know they all get there in their own time and if I didn't have the bloody deadline of nursery hanging over me, I'd be fine. I know the obvious answer is to change nursery but this late in the day I don't want to. This is the nursery of the school I want him to attend, it's our closest [so works for me to do drop offs before I head off to work] and as I say my SIL is going to collect him 2 days per week and her kids go to this school.

James has been a bit "behind" with most milestones - wasn't walking until 14/15m, talking wasn't great until 21/22m, he didn't sit until 10m [even though he was commando crawling long before], so I kind of expected toilet training to be hard work!

I am just worried we'll turn up on the 18th and be turned away as he isn't toilet trained. Do I contact them beforehand? Just send him in a pull-up?

Also of course I am a bit nervous about him actually starting nursery as it's the first time he hasn't been with either me, Daddy or my sister. So effectively it's my first time of leaving him with 'strangers'.... so I guess deep down I am a bit anxious about this. Add to the mix I am due back to work in January and I actually feel a bit out of control with it all.

I don't want to leave my babies!

Just finishing breakkie and the nappy is off. I am going to be calm and collected today - wish me luck!

X

 

[russellmuscle]

Good luck love.

xxxxx

 

[Laurajcole]

Good luck! Today is a new day...

 

[CARNAT22]

Well stone me, we've had 3 wees - in the toilet!!! This is a miracle.

We've also had 2 accidents but compared to yesterday this is amazing.

The toilet has been a fluke as I've been sticking him on regularly but he knows he gets chocolate buttons if he does a wee.

He is looking like a nap though so I am probably going to undo all the hard work by sticking a pull up on.

X

 

[russellmuscle]

Well done James!!

They love to prove us wrong

Xxxc

 

[Goat]

That's amazing. Well done James, especially going straight to the toilet! I reckon this will be it, keep at it, don't get disheartened by any set backs but keep going.xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Well he's asleep now (so in a pull up) and we'll do nappies for bed.

He is nowhere near ready to leave the house, he doesn't tell me when he needs to go, I've just been systematically putting him on the loo and we've had a wee most times.

I need to keep to momentum going though so when he wakens we'll go back to it.

X

 

[russellmuscle]

Thats what my mum told me to do just put him on every now and then - my problem is he doesn't stay on!

Glad you feel motivated now he mustve really noticed how upset you were yesterday.

xxxx

 

[Sparklisam]

advice I have been given is that if your Lo wakes with a dry nappy overnight this is one indication they can hold the urine. I will be looking out for those signs when the dreaded toilet training needs to be commenced. Just be careful to not place him on the toilet too much as u don't train their bladder to hold 'lots' of urine. All this info I've learnt from medical professionals at work due to supporting children with special needs and when they toilet train - although a lot later than other children. Hope he cracks it fully soon xxx

 

[beckyboo1]

Hope today is the start of another decent day for you.
I would contact nursery.. Have you been given any paperwork to fill in?

We had an intimate care plan to fill and so had to say if there were any issues. Harry is potty trained but struggles to wipe his bum after a poo

Could he do the 5 mornings to begin with, and then change to 2.5 days in Jan?

Perhaps the peer pressure of seeing other kiddies use the loo would help spur him on?

Harry started in nursery in September and I was worried too (due to his speech problems) but he loves it. It's 3 hours of pure playing!!

 

[CARNAT22]

Thanks ladies.

Very interesting point about putting him on the toilet too often. He did do lots of little wees yesterday but I am going to have change my method a little as yep it's not helping him with actual bladder control.

He isn't dry in the morning at all.

If we do opt for half days to begin with it will be 3 half days per week as they don't have the availability for 5 half days (you had to pick your preference ages ago) but 3 half days a week is a good starting point and I imagine that's what he'll do in his settling in period anyway?

We've not had to fill out any paperwork recently?

X

 

[SunnySue]

I started trying to potty train my oldest boy by putting on the potty every hour or so and was told off by my hv for doing it. I can't remember exactly what she said but she basically told me that I could cause bladder/continance issues and uti's? As it turned out he was very quick to pick it up so it didn't become an issue.

Ds2 however, will be 3 in a few months and isn't potty trained yet. I don't really know where to start to be honest as he never tells me he needs/has done a wee? He never complains of a wet or dirty nappy either?

He is also due to start nursery in January but they haven't said anything to me about him needing to be dry.

I'll have to crack on with it soon. Dreading it.

 

[CARNAT22]

Everyone seems to have a different method for potty training?

I've been putting him on every hour and he's been doing a semi big wee? He's had little leaks just before I've put him on toilet so he does need to go?

It's so confusing lol.

I was planning to work up to him telling me he needs to go / toilet every few hours.... We've improved already from yesterday when he was having teeny wees every half an hour or so.

I have a small bladder and pee every hour or so in the daytime. It's really annoying actually.

We've had a really good morning, no accidents (just two little leaks but he held it and did the actual wee on the toilet)

Shame it's nap time now, so I will put a pull-up on.

X

 

[russellmuscle]

Hes doing so well, what a clever boy!!

xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

We went out today!! Without a pull-up!!

Miraculous.... granted we were only out 45 minutes LOL.

Have to say I am starting to think maybe he is getting it a bit? He still doesn't tell me before but he seems to have some small level of bladder control. Monday he was weeing as soon as I put his pants on. Today he was much better {he has been bare bum Tues and Wed's}

X

 

[Goat]

He's doing so fab!! I still ask my daughter if she needs to go periodically throughout the day and before we leave to go anywhere I plonk her on the loo as well as when we arrive. James will tell you eventually and that's when you'll feel pretty confident he's smashed it!

 

[russellmuscle]

Well done James, you wont mind too much IF he does have any accidents, because you will now feel your moving forward.

Fab news.

xxxx

 

[Rooster30]

Aside from feeling a tad jealous, I'm really happy you've made really good progress. Well done James! Can you tell my son how to do it now?!

 

[CARNAT22]

We're still a way away from it being successful Rooster and I am not going to offer any platitudes.

When I started this thread on Monday I'd put him back in pull-ups, broken down in tears and had my OH been home I think I'd have taken myself off somewhere for a few hours. I was at the end of my tether.

It's been a long, boring week and I am still convinced he is only using the loo as he is being bribed with choccie buttons... but as long as the wee's are happening and there are fewer accidents I am going to stick with bribery for the time being.

Also another thing that has been different this time is Bee is OK to be left for a few minutes at a time whilst we do all the toilet stuff? A month ago she wouldn't have been OK with that.

X