Has your OH changed?

[Vickyleigh]

I really had to ask that because my OH has changed alot over the last couple of weeks and I just wondered how your OH and hubbys are acting in the final stages?
Mine has been going out alot more and I feel like he would rather spend his time any where else other then with me.
He say's he needs to go into town and spends hours and hours out and just comes back with shampoo and bog roll, he has been going fishing alot lately and he knows I wont go with him and he never used to go this much before if it's not that then he has to go to his workshop to sort his tools out or some crap like and when he is home all he does is sleep!
He thinks I'm starting to get possesive and he even had the effing cheek to say he feels trapped!
He knows full well that I have never ever stopped him from doing his own thing but recently he always wants to be out and about without me and I said that tomorrow I will exactly 8 months pregnant so I don't want to be on my own all the time, I need him here to help me with things that I can't do any more. How can he be trapped when I'm the one thats pregnant the daft sod!
He keeps saying that he can't wait till the baby is here and I have even told him that if he wants to be on his own then I wont stand in his way and he flipped saying thats the last thing he wants! Men eh? grrrrrr
So come on then what are your men being like?

 

[Robyn_]

well im sorry to say that, this is what my bf did before he left me,
went out all the time, would rather be with other people than with me, the said he felt trapped and stuff
then left,

hopefully this isnt whats happening with you, and i hope things get better, maybe you should sit and have a lon conversation with him, there may be things that hes scared of, and maybe hes getting used to the change of the fact hes gunna have a baby about, and hes like thinking oh ill get out as much as i can when i can kinda thing,
i dunno hunni,
have a huggle
dont worry too much, whatever happens will happen..
take care, cos you need to, your very pregnant now and you need to think more about you and the baby than anyone else hunni,
please take care

 

[amzhunny]

Hey!

I do have to say my OH is being ok ish....every pain or niggle he is like on guard "are you in labour!!".

Although SNAP i do have to agree he is going fishing more but maybe its because the weather has been 100% better and he is getting it in whilst he can before LO arrives.

The only thing i moan about with OH is i do all the housework and he sits on his arse watching tele oh and it really annoys me when i have been up for hours with back ache he gets out of bed comes downstairs and the moment my back is turned or i carry on cleaning kitchen he turns tele over to sky sports!!!!!!!!!!! I am knakered afterwards and when i am really knakered he says why dont you ask me to do it..... its not a matter of asking he should just do it! lol

I hope its not getting you down though hun, give him a kick up the backside and tell him to stop being stupid about being trapped and ask him if he has ever thought about how you feel especially feeling like a whale?! I dont think trapped is the word huh xxx

 

[pigletpoo]

I think you read in my other post, mine has gone AWOL.

I havn't seen him since last Sunday because he was away with work, he rang really late thursday night - a bit drunk - to say how he wanted to stay in his own house and how he wanted to do what he wanted, then fell asleep on the phone, then when he was due home on friday he rang me to start a row on purpose, so he could hang up and that was that. I havn't heard a peak since.

He has been up and down a lot during this pregnancy TBH, he has bipolar and refuses to get treatment.
If I go in to labor, I am not even going to tell him. I've decided I can't put up with this anymore - i've done it for 4 years. He hasnt bought a single item for the baby, not one thing. And he said if I am struggeling for cash I should get my self back to work. I am entitled to my maternity leave!!

So there you go.

Piglet xx

 

[Vickyleigh]

It does get to me that he is acting this way but at the same time if he can act like a free and single man and just go off and leave me alone all the time then he obviously isn't thinking about my feelings and what I am going through so if he keeps this up then I can't have all that stress around the baby so I'd rather it was just me and her happy on our own. I would rather he was there to be a good Dad to her but only if he grows up and realises that he has big responsabilities now.
I'm just hoping that when he sees her for the first time everything will change and he will see that she needs him more then the stupid smelly fish.

 

[Vickyleigh]

I think you read in my other post, mine has gone AWOL.

I havn't seen him since last Sunday because he was away with work, he rang really late thursday night - a bit drunk - to say how he wanted to stay in his own house and how he wanted to do what he wanted, then fell asleep on the phone, then when he was due home on friday he rang me to start a row on purpose, so he could hang up and that was that. I havn't heard a peak since.

He has been up and down a lot during this pregnancy TBH, he has bipolar and refuses to get treatment.
If I go in to labor, I am not even going to tell him. I've decided I can't put up with this anymore - i've done it for 4 years. He hasnt bought a single item for the baby, not one thing. And he said if I am struggeling for cash I should get my self back to work. I am entitled to my maternity leave!!

So there you go.

Piglet xx

He's obviously getting to you and maybe that could be why you keep getting contractions so maybe you might be better off on your own because it seems like your doing a good job so far.
That's why I'm thinking about just saying to my OH "right if you want to do your own thing then you can but we're over" something along them lines anyway because I think me and the baby will be happy on our own but if he was there letting us both down then the baby would pick up on the stress and I want her to be happy.
It's difficult! I hope you do sort it out but like me you have to think whats best for baby in the long run. I think I will give my OH a bit more time to see if he changes

 

[Bex78]

My DH has been similar but not quite as bad.
He's not long started a new job and wants to go out with his friends from work, which is fine but I've told him it stops when I get to a couple of weeks before my due date, and we have an agreement that he goes out twice a month without me.
We've got 3 kids already and one on the way so its not like we're flush or anything.

He said as long as he gets to go out he doesnt mind if I'm with him, which is nice for me because I get to go out as well sometimes.

He will spend time on his own, playing xbox, and we did have some serious issues about a month ago where things had just built up and got to a really bad state, and he was feeling trapped.

We were spending no time together, and I felt completely alone. Then it came to a head and thats how we ended up coming to the once every other week agreement. and since then, things have been great. In fact, he hasnt spent much time at all on the Xbox cos he knows he has a bit of freedom.

The other problem we had is that this pregnancy has been horrendous. I'm not good when I'm pregnant anyway, but this time round, the sickness has been awful, and tiredness was uncontrollable, I've had chronic back pain, which has turned out to be pelvic joint disfunction, and now I think I've got a touch of SPD as well.
As a result I've relied heavily on him and he resented me for it.

I told him how I felt, that I didnt ask to feel this way and now he realises what I have is genuine, rather than just me moaning that I'm pregnant, its got a bit better.
he actually tells me to rest and take it easy. As long as he can see me making an effort with the housework, he'll come home from work and finish the things I cant do.

Like I said though, things did get very bad at one point and I told him if he wanted to go, then to just leave me but it made us face up to what was wrong and things are better now.

 

[pigletpoo]

He's obviously getting to you and maybe that could be why you keep getting contractions so maybe you might be better off on your own because it seems like your doing a good job so far.
That's why I'm thinking about just saying to my OH "right if you want to do your own thing then you can but we're over" something along them lines anyway because I think me and the baby will be happy on our own but if he was there letting us both down then the baby would pick up on the stress and I want her to be happy.
It's difficult! I hope you do sort it out but like me you have to think whats best for baby in the long run. I think I will give my OH a bit more time to see if he changes

Everyone thinks I would be better off on my own. But its hard to tell the father of your baby to "do one". I guess we all have a picture of a perfect family. Maybe its something to do with fishermen! Thats all mine cares about is the size of his next barbel!
I just can't believe he can care so little about his son. Even if he doesn't want to be with me, you would think he would show an interest in his baby and want to make sure he was ok. He is 30 years old for gods sake - about time he grew up.
I really hope you sort things out with your OH, but if not you seem to be really strong and focussed when it comes to your baby

Piglet xx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

My oh has chan ged into a lazy sod who needs my boot up his ass but i know he will be fully hands on when baby t is born so im not worried and it will be different when we move into our new home. He makes no effort cos we live with his mum.

So i know why its happening.

Maybe your oh is just relishing his time alone vicky and will be really hands on when your daughter arrives. a lot of men do it.

 

[Keely]

Richie went like that when i was pregnant with Ellis. He soon pulled his finger out when Ellis was born. Fingers crossed yours will too.

Men dont have the commen sence to realise you need them in pregnancy and just start getting scared they are "trapped" ..... I am told all the time that he WANTS to see his friends!! Some days he realises he is in a FAMILY now and others he acts like a single teenager again!!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Im not slating my husband by any means I absolutely adore him.And he is a wonderful father and Stephen worships his dad and its obvious to anyone that sees them together.

But he is lazy, and forgets that about to drop and thinks that im invincible.I think this is because I have done it once already and know what to expect ect, and I have had no real complications or SPD to contend with and have generally been able to fly about as normal.
But if i didnt care for our son and make sure his mums house was clean when they all got home, who else would do it?

But i had a chat with him last night and told him how i fekt and that i felt let down by him and despite him working after my day I would like him to ask me how i feel and is there any thing that he can do to help me out.
I made him feel shamefaced i know that.But he feels I dont want help cos i dont ask - to which i pointed out i shouldnt have to ask!

He has promised to help out more and he said that he would be real hands on with baby T when she arrives anyway which i already knew he would be. But i have stated its not the baby that needs sorting, its the house that were moving into and getting that sorted as well. Hes pretty much gobbed by it all but his mum has promised to help loads.

Piglet, you should follow your heart ion whats hapening to you and ask him if he intends to come home or if he intends to carry on playing the 15 yr old school boy role. He has responsbilities to you and his unborn child and if he cant be there for them now, hows he guna do it when bubs is here? Its all too easy being there for the first couple of weeks till the stress of having a baby kicks in.Even the most loving couples row when a baby isa birn. Me and my oh had some awful fights when stephen was born and it was horrible - but it was due mostly to sleep deprication and us being forst time parents.

I hope you get it all sorted.

 

[Snuggle]

I havent seen much of my hubby in last couple of weeks TBH but not because he wants to be away from me...I dont think anyway! I think he is getting nervous about baby arriving and wants everything in new house sorted as soon as possible. As soon as he gets home from work he starts on something...garden, loft, unpacking something or another! He doesnt really let me do anything, I can cook tea but thats about it He really is tiring himself out working and doing everything else too but I dont know how to get him to just sit down and relax and spend some time with me

 

[FeeFee]

I hate to say it but i cannot find a single thing to moan about with my DH, he gets side tracked sometimes but i just think thats men to be honest, like we've had a new dining table and chairs waiting to be put up for a couple of weeks but he has been working hard and it hasn't been a major problem not having them but they are done now i've had a bit of a moan and left them laying right in the middle of the floor
Men can't possibly understand what the hell we are going through same as we can't fully understand how a kick in the nuts feels.
They aren't as deep thinking or as "worried" as us because they just don't operate like that lol
Now i've finally got my had around that i find them so easy to understand and to get to do what i want


Hugs for all you ladies having problem's hope your OH's sort out there priorities out soon

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Thats nice though snuggle that he is making a big effort and is still coming home and doing things and supporting you x

 

[Snuggle]

Yes I know, I just worry about him getting so tired, he's doing far too much bless him

 

[pigletpoo]

Well my OH has been back, he took me on a picnic today.
And he was acting normal like he hadn't done anything wrong!

He avoided talking about baby, birth, money or houses and we just sat watching the river.

So I used him for some great S-E-X and have told him he should go home and I might see him over the weekend. My head is too fuzzy to deal with him at the mo!

How's your OH being Vick?

Piglet xx

 

[amzhunny]

GRRRRR wish i could have sex!

I tell you walking round shops is doing my back in and i ache so much...OH keeps wanting to jump me but i just can't! lol

 

[pigletpoo]

LOL, I don't think anything would stop me!

I was in agony again earlier, and getting strong contractions for about an hour. But after they stopped, I thought "what the heck" it might get things moving a bit! I'm not doing myself any favours really am i

But OH has to have his uses, and he is useless in every other way!

I think you should try it, maybe it would help your aches and pains.....

Piglet xx

 

[Vickyleigh]

Things are better then they were a few days ago. We had a long chat and when I told him I didn't think he was interested in the baby, the way he looked at me said it all! He really had a sad look in his face and he said "you don't really think that do you?" He said he feels really fustrated and fed up because he has been waiting for the baby for 8 months and he said he's bored of just watching her through my stomach and just wants her here now. I can see where he is coming from because she is with me 24/7 and I can feel her every move but him, well he has to rely on me to tell him when she's moving and kicking and when to feel my stomach.
I told him about going out all the time I said I don't mind what you do but just not every night and he said when your not pregnant you can go back to dancing and I can go fishing without you moaning at me! Things are better now we've had a chat, I told him how I feel and how he's made me feel and he did the same so we got things all cleared up.

 

[Bex78]

Glad you've sorted things out. Talking about problems with each other is far better than bottling them up, and its worth remembering once the baby is here too.