Does your OH have a choice in your birth plan?

[littlemiss83]

My OH has only mentioned one thing about this labour & thats - i'm not allowed another epidural, and thats purely for my own wellbeing. I had one with my first & unfortunately i'm one of the few that has suffered from it (the reason they make you consent ect) i've had very bad back probs since the birth & its been my OH who's had to console me & literally pick me up off the floor in the last 7 years when i've been unable to move. He's had to console me when they were considering surgery on my back as it was so badly damaged by the epidural, so its only fair on him that he has an input.

Yeah, some ppl have great results from an epidural & the obvious reaction from them would be- go for it, it takes away the pain ect (didn't even take away pain for me) but my reaction is different as i've seen the downside of an epidural - its not always a good experience, its a very serious medical procedure which can leave you paralised for life (not trying to scare you) but it does need ALOT of thought, rather than just going by ppl saying - I recommend it.

I was induced last time & was advised to take it but I wish I hadn't & just put up with the pain.

 

[ft90]

That looks like a classic case of men not thinking before they speak! My OH said he's happy to go along with whatever I want as long as I'm happy. Originally I wanted to go to the local birth centre and have a calm waterbirth, which OH loved the idea of.

Now they think my baby is too big so I have to have him at hospital, they might have to induce me etc, in which case I'll have an epidural. OH completely agrees with me, so I know I have his support!

At the end of the day, pushing a baby out is an accomplishment in itself, so I buy into the idea of an epidural being a failure. Some women need them, some don't, and I definitely wouldn't go through the pain just to prove a point!

xx

 

[jomc]

Dont think my OH would even consider advising me what to do. He is more than happy for me to decide. As long as bubs and I are ok I think he says thats the main thing.
In going into it with an open mind but have said all along that I reckon I will want an epidural

 

[pinkyprincess]

I think people have opinions that they should sometimes keep to themselves. I personally am worried about it going wrong my MIL has back problems and is in and out of hospital and it's not nice to see! I'm planning on playing my labour by ear a bit. If it's THAT bad then I'll ask for one, if I've left it too late, sod it, I'll have to deal with that!

 

[star fish]

It never occured to me to ask him what he wants. I just assumed that he would agree with me. Now I'm wondering if he has any other thoughts on the matter. They asked if we wanted a hospital birth and I said yes and he nodded, I told him my mum is trying to push me towards natural birth but i intend to have all the drugs and he just joked and said he wanted them too.

We talk about the birth a lot but mostly about how to stop the parents turning up and also whether you poo yourself, stuff like that.

I guess it will all become more real in NCT classes

 

[clairebear22]

I wrote my birth plan and was really proud of it, then forgot it but everything i'd written went right out the window anyway! lol I had 2 shots of pethdine in 18hrs plus an epidural which was fantastic for me but i'd been in labour for over 24hrs by the time i'd reached 3cms and could have the epidural so I was begging for it! Little did we know my little monkey was back to back making the contractions much more painful!

Looking back I wouldn't have any pethdine next time because it really spaced Jack out! He didn't cry at all when he was born and came out wide awake and looking around the room (then pee'd all over the MW's lol)!! He then stayed wide awake for 3hrs (couldn't feed from me either) and then slept for 12hrs straight and was too weak to BF after that

But an epidural next time? ... yes please! lol

The only thing I asked my OH about my birth plan was whether he wanted to cut the cord which he did but couldn't because I had a forceps delivery in the end and the nurse cut the cord quickly because I was losing blood. He didn't mind though because he knew me & Jack needed to be safe! x

 

[littlemiss83]

I'm quite upset by this thread



Cant believe people have such flippant attitudes to something which is life changing & could possibly effect us for the rest of our lives.

Totally understand people saying - worst comes to worst yes i'll do such & such. But for people to say - yes without a doubt, book me in for that - or next time i'll defo get that... it makes me really sad tbh. Especially given the serious nature.

 

[LaurenMM]

Think my OH justs wants to go with the flow, and hes just said if you feel like you need or want it then have it. I've never been keen on pain relief whether it be an epidural or pethidine simlpy because of the after effects ie limited or no mobilty, the affects on the baby etc so Im just planning to have good old gas and air and breathing techniques - BUT I'm not ruling anything out full stop. Two main things I have asked OH are does he want to cut the cord and when I'm crowning (I know this might sound really weird) but I asked him if he'd put a mirror up so I could see babys head - he's said not sure to both which I completely understand - he's very squeamish and I'd rather him not to do it at all if hes gonna stand there looking like he wants to vomit lol. x

 

[Geminiblue]

yes I chat to my OH about it but ultimately its my choice as I am the one in pain and Im tellin ya now, him watching you in pain for an hour and he cant do anything hes guna beg them to drug you I can promise. Thats if you have a painful time, not everyone is the same and ITS NOT DUE TO PAIN THRESHHOLD. there are other factors, size and position are to name but a few so yes, tell him to pass a melon out of his arse and he will know about it! I was gob smaked. I oh yeah I was told that Id taken the easy route having a c section...apart from the fact that it was an emergency and it is major surgery, yeah whatever I was livid. SUffice to say the offender was left understanding, in no uncertain terms, exactly what it entails!!!

xxx

 

[Princess81]

I have explained my attitude towards labour to my o/h, I am planning as natural as possible but staying open minded in case I need any help at the time. He doesn't really comment which I'm assuming means that he's happy enough with what I'm saying.
I may have to have a planned section anyway if my placenta doesn't move up (which it hasn't yet) so that would put all my plans out the window anyway

 

[niknaks]

my oh has only mentioned one thing and that was about water births. i really want one and when i mentioned it to him he was like what if the baby drowns. which i started laughing and replied do you think the babys in air inside me and they wouldnt do it if its dangerous. i would have an epidural if it got to unbearable but i think that also scares me as much as giving birth itself. dont they put a needle in your back and a tube or something? ive got 2 tats and would love more but when it comes to things like injections and needles healthwise, it frightens the life out of me, also didnt really know much about epidurals before so kinda a bit more scared about it going wrong now, have back problems as it is even before i got preg so dunno how id manage if they got worse with a newborn baby to look after x

 

[positivity :)]

It seems most of us will see how it goes and if the pain is too much then consider the drugs lol! Well I think in week 3 of my classes they are discussing drugs so I'l make a decision then xx

 

[niknaks]

i cant believe youve started classes, i havent even got my dates yet and i sent the form off weeks ago. hopefully midwife will get back to me tomorrow :-/ x

 

[jomc]

Im really looking forward to the NCT classes but I dont start them til 29th Oct and they dont end til end Nov which is only two weeks before my due date lol

 

[positivity :)]

It's funny u should say that, in the class we went round and said how many weeks we are and I was about 2-6 weeks earlier than anyone else?! Xx

 

[star fish]

I agree, I look forward to being more informed before I make any real decisions, but I guess the reality is that even if you make a plan it doesnt necessarily work out that way