Has anyone given birth without a partner?

[Mummylumps]

Were you ok?

I am not with baby's dad, with my last I had her dad there, and it was helpful to grab him during a contraction but this time round I have no one, do you think the midwives will provide me with the support missing from a birth partner? I didn't really have much support from midwives in my last labour, they all seemed to appear during the time I was having my stitches lol, I was kind of ignored.

My mum will have my daughter and I am not really close to anyone enough to allow them to see me in that situation so I am just going to have to be brave and face it alone.

 

[JD.Deedee]

What about a doula? I told my oh to go work because he was so on edge during my labour it was actually putting me off and I would've happily laboured in peace on my own with the midwife just being present to monitor me haha but I've just given birth the once so I wouldn't know how I'd feel cause I suppose each labour is different so could also feel totally different. I just know doula's are the type of people that do that job and some people use them with a birthing partner but I suppose you could use one in lack thereof!

 

[Blueclass]

Sorry i had my partner but i would find it scary. I would also look at a doula.

 

[Mummylumps]

Thanks for the replies.

Do you have to pay for a doula?

 

[Blueclass]

Im not sure better to Google it maybe x

 

[poppy86]

Just curious... why can't the father look after your daughter so your mum can be there with you? He should be happy to have her! You shouldn't give birth alone, nor should you have to pay a doula when your mum can be there for free. When in pain and feeling scared or alone, we all ask for our mums.

 

[redbear]

Thanks for the replies.

Do you have to pay for a doula?

You will probably be able to find one for free who wants to build experience say to go onto become a midwife (and apply to university) It may be worth looking into. meet them a few times and make sure you click and feel happy with them first though. at worst its someone to talk to through the boring parts xx

 

[redbear]

Doula UK is a non-profit organisation mainly run by volunteers and reliant on membership fees and donations to do all the work we do.
Your support will help us to ensure women & families have access to life-changing support in the childbearing year – regardless of circumstance.

 

[redbear]

Most of the doulas registered with Doula UK are self-employed and clients pay them directly or they are paid on behalf of clients by projects specific to their area or certain clients. They may also volunteer or work within the NHS. The Doula UK Access Fund exists to help make support from a skilled doula available to those who could not otherwise access it, and there are also various projects around the UK enabling access to doula support.


maybe look into the Access Fund? xx

 

[Elspeth]

I would like to think the midwife would stay with you the whole time if you are on your own. I'm sure I've been told in my local midwife led unit that this is what they do even if you have a a birth partner.

I'm facing this situation too as we will have just moved to a new area and if family can't get there in time i will have to labour without OH as he will need to look after our 3 year old.
I've considered having a home birth for this reason and may go down this route as i understand my daughter can be in the house.

 

[Phoenix85]

I did. I'm a single mum of three and i gave birth at home, planned freebirth lol. Only my daughter was with me as my older one was with my mum. To be honest it was pretty quick. I spent the first 4 hours online in between contractions, it wasnt til around 3.30pm that i started needing to concentrate more on the contractions and at that point i started running a bath, broke off to talk to my midwife who had rung, went and got in the bath about 4.15pm, within 10 minutes i had to get out as the pressure was too much, went to my bedroom, moved the duvet, got all the sheets and towels spread out over the bed, had a couple of contractions then the urge to push and she was born at 4.33pm.
I really think beibg on my own helped my labour so much, i think having someone else there would have stalled it. That said, if it had been a long labour i would have phoned a friend to come over.

 

[Blueclass]

Have you managed to find one for free?