Birth Without my partner

[kimmi2506]

thank you girls i am happy with it as he would be more use to me at home he will be there as soon as the lo is born and i do have a loved one with me my nanna she is more support then my mum and partner together as she doesnt get stressed and can keep me calm so i am happy with it

 

[Gayle30]

Ur totally right, other people will have their opinion and that's fine but it's what is right for you both. I'm actually in the same situation, but I'm not hurt at all. I accept the fact that he just can't do it (if I was in his shoes I fear I'd be the same) and I feel that I need someone who is strong and can give me the help I need. I love my OH so much and he feels the same but we respect each others feelings and support the decisions we make together. Im fed up being judged too. It's about us and what we want for the birth but sadly u can't stop other people forming opinions, however unfair that is.

I've turned what some see as a negative into a positive and will have my mum by my side. She'll be the one who holds our baby first and for me there is no greater honour for her. She is thrilled and excited and it's just a wee way of saying thank you for all the things she's done over the years for me.

Maybe in time our OHs will change their mind but if not then that's something they will have to live with. Good luck with what ever happens xx

 

[kimmi2506]

thank you gayle its about time somebody knows how I feel i dont feel upset about it i feel great to have my nanna by my side as she is practically my mum anyway there is no point in having anybody with you that doesnt want to be there as they will be of no help strong people you want and i dont want him to see how much of a drama queen i am lol

 

[Jayjay027]

Right thanks for all your comments
Firstly I don't appreciate my partner being called names it is his call if he doesn't want to be there then I'm not going to make him would you make your husbands/partners do something they really don't want to do because I know I wouldn't
Secondly I am fine as I do not think he would be much support as he doesn't know what to do and my nanna does
Thirdly if I have another labour like the first one I was in hospital for four days in labour so I would have nobody to look after my other child as I do live over 100mile away from our parents and I do not speak to my mum really so I would have no really help if he was there he would be helping me more looking after our son
and yes as soon as my nanna says the heads out she will ring him and he will be there waiting
also he knows how it feels to be the one who's dad wasn't there and was on the other siblings as I went threw it and it feels a bit strange knowing your dad didn't want to be there on one and was on the rest so its not excuses it is the reason

Well this is a very different sounding post to ur first. In ur original post u sounded quite hurt by it and even said u didn't know how to react. So naturally we all told u what we thought.

Its good if ur fine with it, its between the 2 of u. U just didn't seem fine with it judging by ur original post.

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[kimmi2506]

your right jay jay i didn't know how to react because i didnt want to approach him on it but i did and understand completely about his decisions so i have accepted his reasons and feelings

 

[FirstBabyEek]

your right jay jay i didn't know how to react because i didnt want to approach him on it but i did and understand completely about his decisions so i have accepted his reasons and feelings

I think some of us obviously don't know your other reasons and just gave our views based on your first post.

But It's great that you've both come to a decision that you are happy about and at the end if the day that's what matters.

 

[Gayle30]

My other half knows what a drama queen I am but I know what you mean! Lol! Your nana will be a wonderful support I am sure. Xx

 

[mrz85]

good luck at your birth and glad u have a supportive birth partner with u x

 

[Lolly85x]

No wonder your upset! I would be raging! My boyfriend doesn't like to see me in pain either, who does, especially someone you love. But it's a major part in this whole having a baby thing... I'd have a word with him and tell him how your feeling and circumstances have changed and your mum won't make it. What an awful situation.x

 

[Happyred]

Good for you Kimmi! I totally agree, why would you want to force your partner into doing something he doesnt feel comfortable with, thats not what relationships are about. I cant really understand the " I have to go through labour,so he will too" mentality. The laws of nature mean females need to go through the pain of childbirth, but why inflict upset on the male if its not necessary! Im sure half the time the oh is no use anyway. I know when I was in labour with my DD I couldnt have given a toss if my partner was there, I was more interested in knowing I had the midwife, doctors and other professionals around to make sure me and lo were safe. Good luck to you both and what a wonderful experience for you to give your Nanna!