going out of my mind

[Vicki & Nathan]

before me and OH met he used to download adult movies off the internet. i knew about this before we got together and funnily enough it didnt really worry me then.
we got together and we were together about 3 weeks and one weekend we went out with a load of his mates and their gfs and had a bit to drink and it all came out i told him how i hated it and that it was really upsetting me. he asked me why i didnt say anything before and that he wouldnt do it anymore. when we got in his deleted all the ones he had on his pc and the ones he had on disk he took along to his mate the next time we went out so i knew they were all gone.
i went a while without thinking about it but something set me off and ever since then i just cant let it go.
i asked him once why he did it and he said that before me he had never had a proper gf (he was a virgin- and i know this is true) that he was very sad and lonely and that he needed something.
in your opinion is this normal? people say its just a man thing and that all men do it. is this true?
sometimes i get myself worked up over this and it is really getting me down. i want to get over this soooo bad cos other than this my OH is a wonderful man and would never cheat on me or anything and we now have a beautiful baby boy but i just cant get this past out of my head.
HELP!!!!!!

 

[Mice_Elf]

Is it normal? Yes, absolutely.

99.9% of men have watched porn, downloaded porn, bought porn or hired porn from a video / DVD shop.

The 0.01% that haven't or don't are either lying or are too young!

 

[libs]

It's absolutely normal - I've never met a man who doesn't - and not many women either It means nothing - the equivalent of women reading a racy book - does it mean you don't love your partner - course not - it's fantasy pure and simple.

I'd be pretty impressed with the fact he's got rid of it all.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

My ex boyf had a major thing with porn. He had pics all over his wall and loads of stuff on his pc and videos too. I hated them as I feel quite strongly about porn etc for many reasons which I wont bore you with now.
My ex was very stubborn about giving it up, regardless of how upset it made me which made me feel even worse and as though he was replacing me with the porn. He even lied and said that he had binned it when he hadnt really. It became a major issue between us and made me very resentful because I believe that if you are in a relationship and there are very valid reasons why your partner doesnt like something that you do then you stop - i.e. cheating, going out every night with your mates etc etc and they are sacrifices you make to be in a relationship with the person you choose because what you gain far outways what you lose.
I know Im rambling but to get to the point, Im saying that your OH clearly loves you and gave it up without batting an eyelid which for me proves that it really wasnt that major a deal for him and something he did when he was single to fill a void - something I think is perfectly reasonable and understandable - you cant expect someone to not do something that may hurt you if they havent even met you yet to know that it will!
So you just have to keep that in your head and maybe think about stuff you did when you were single that didnt harm anyone cos you were single but you are sure your OH may not like to put it all into perspective.
At the end of the day he has stopped it now and done it in an easy manner which shows that in comparison to you, it means very little to him and now he has the real thing he doesnt need to fill the void anymore.
It doesnt matter if the subject matter is porn, or eating cheese. If you have a genuine reason for not liking your partner doing it (or vice versa) then it should be up for discussion and compromise. Its clear that your OH has done that unbegrudgingly so I think you have got a goodun there and just need to try your best to forget about it.

 

[HappyAlice]

I agree with everyone else, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it either, it doesn't mean anything.

 

[Manda&Thomas]

i dont think there is anything wrong with it i even watch it with hubby sometimes
i have to download it for him as he doesnt no how to do it lol
i think it even stops men from cheating as they can see other women naked without feeling guilty lol
i hope you can get passed this hun its not worth getting yourself worked up over
manda xx