Gem & Leland
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Does anyone mind if i do a diary here ? just with this being last month before surgery kinda want somehwere to put how im feelin ! im rubbish at normal diarys but as im online all the time i thought this would be good ! if noone objects !
thought id start with a quick summary of passed couple of years !
well in may 2005 i accidently fell pregnant , got my bfp on the 21/05/05 , but lost lil bean on the 9/06/05 , my due date would have been the 31/01/06.
but it wasnt ment to be and brought me and hubby closer and closer together ! and in oct 2005 we set a date to get married ! april 2006 
in dec 2005 , i had my last of my 5yr stint of mear tests (dodgy one when i was 18 so had to have yearly) But , it came back with dodgy cells again and i refered to the hosiptal for a colposcopy.
Jan we decided to start trying for our first baby ! (b4 having results back from smear) very exciting time , altho the usual disapointment when i didnt fall 1st time spec with my accidently fall the year before
7/03/06 , my first experience of a colposcopy , imagine a smear but 10 times worse , legs in stirrups , cervix on the tv monitor ! and the cover u bits in a vinager type lidquid that stings like f*** , and then take a biospy which hurts like hell and gives u tummy cramps and af would be proud of
but it was bad news , id got many pre -cancerous cells ( later confirmed as cin3) and i needed further treatment in the form of laser surgery
luckly i was allow to delay it till after my honeymoon ! as u cant have sex for 6 weeks lol
also ment we had to stop trying for our lil one , untill id had the surgery
20th april 2006 me and brian got married in a lovery converted barn in my hometown of ipswich was best day of my life !
back from honeymoon and hubby started his new job , on the tues 9/05/06 i went into hospital for laser surgery , wasnt too bad and was over in 30 mins . work were arsewhole and made me go back to work the next day
so weds, thurs , and fri i struggled through the pain , felt like hurrendous af really . Found out i was only 5 years away from cancer SO PLEASE GIRLS HAVE YOUR SMEAR TESTS I WAS ONLY 23
but on my birthday 13th may , at midnight hubby woke up to me screaming , i could barely move was doubled over in pain , by 2 am i was admitted and put on morphine (woohoo lol) . my laser site had got infected , so there i stayed for 3 days attached to a drip !
6 weeks of no bding later and we were clear for take off lol back to ttc
by sept i still hadnt concieved and was worried it was scarring from the laser sugery , so took a visit to docs who sent me for blood tests , 1st lot where on the 18/09/06. These came back badly , looked like id got pcos , i was devested , thought my life was over and i was never gonna have a baby . i went back to my mums to see her , looked into it much more and found it wasnt all bad but still not good , doc had refered me for a scan ,so now was just focusing on getting through that !
24/10/06 , 2nd month blood test , these came back as not as bad as my first , docs couldnt really explain them , i deffo hadnt ovualted for passed 2 months tho
13/11/06 , ultrasound day , had to drink loads and this itself is a nightmere for me , just dont drink ! got there , hadnt got enough fluid , so they did an internal , well they could only see my left ovary so sent me away with jug of water , went back in and she did the right ovary , didnt ay anything to me at the time
28/11/06 , 3rd month of blood tests and doctors for ultrasound results !
wasnt good ! i had got mild psoc in my left ovary but what shocked me was to find out i had a dermoid cyst / tumour , 6cm x 6 cm in my right ovary and it needed to come out . nect day i received my referel, appointment is the 11th jan , will find out more and when it comes out then .
9/12/06 , Last af , was only 2 days long but killed my hopes for a bfp for xmas, had to make decsions whether to continue trying in dec or wait till after treatment , found myself still temping lol stuck the dh on zinc and got in the magic meds ! i couldnt not try , what if this was my month !
12/12/06 , had my 6 month colpcospy to check all pre-cancerous cells have gone awaiting results now
sorry for long post , just an easy way to start my diary ! im so glad i found u girls , even if its made me obssed even more as theres so many tummy pics to envy at lol but knowing im not the only one goign through this is great !
awaiting ovualtion now , thats if i didnt yesterday/ today . This really is my last chance before ill prob have to have surgery , im scared that if i loose an ovary durring the op it will half my chances and with me also have pcos i dont like what the future hold , have already been told id have to loose alot of weight before having ivf , and thats so hard , pcos had made me put on nearly 3 stone and it doesnt seem to want to shift 
so here's to the next few months
for me and everyone ttc , babydust to all !
thought id start with a quick summary of passed couple of years !
well in may 2005 i accidently fell pregnant , got my bfp on the 21/05/05 , but lost lil bean on the 9/06/05 , my due date would have been the 31/01/06.
but it wasnt ment to be and brought me and hubby closer and closer together ! and in oct 2005 we set a date to get married ! april 2006 in dec 2005 , i had my last of my 5yr stint of mear tests (dodgy one when i was 18 so had to have yearly) But , it came back with dodgy cells again and i refered to the hosiptal for a colposcopy.
Jan we decided to start trying for our first baby ! (b4 having results back from smear) very exciting time , altho the usual disapointment when i didnt fall 1st time spec with my accidently fall the year before
7/03/06 , my first experience of a colposcopy , imagine a smear but 10 times worse , legs in stirrups , cervix on the tv monitor ! and the cover u bits in a vinager type lidquid that stings like f*** , and then take a biospy which hurts like hell and gives u tummy cramps and af would be proud of
but it was bad news , id got many pre -cancerous cells ( later confirmed as cin3) and i needed further treatment in the form of laser surgery
luckly i was allow to delay it till after my honeymoon ! as u cant have sex for 6 weeks lol also ment we had to stop trying for our lil one , untill id had the surgery
20th april 2006 me and brian got married in a lovery converted barn in my hometown of ipswich was best day of my life !
back from honeymoon and hubby started his new job , on the tues 9/05/06 i went into hospital for laser surgery , wasnt too bad and was over in 30 mins . work were arsewhole and made me go back to work the next day
so weds, thurs , and fri i struggled through the pain , felt like hurrendous af really . Found out i was only 5 years away from cancer SO PLEASE GIRLS HAVE YOUR SMEAR TESTS I WAS ONLY 23 but on my birthday 13th may , at midnight hubby woke up to me screaming , i could barely move was doubled over in pain , by 2 am i was admitted and put on morphine (woohoo lol) . my laser site had got infected , so there i stayed for 3 days attached to a drip !
6 weeks of no bding later and we were clear for take off lol back to ttc
by sept i still hadnt concieved and was worried it was scarring from the laser sugery , so took a visit to docs who sent me for blood tests , 1st lot where on the 18/09/06. These came back badly , looked like id got pcos , i was devested , thought my life was over and i was never gonna have a baby . i went back to my mums to see her , looked into it much more and found it wasnt all bad but still not good , doc had refered me for a scan ,so now was just focusing on getting through that !
24/10/06 , 2nd month blood test , these came back as not as bad as my first , docs couldnt really explain them , i deffo hadnt ovualted for passed 2 months tho
13/11/06 , ultrasound day , had to drink loads and this itself is a nightmere for me , just dont drink ! got there , hadnt got enough fluid , so they did an internal , well they could only see my left ovary so sent me away with jug of water , went back in and she did the right ovary , didnt ay anything to me at the time
28/11/06 , 3rd month of blood tests and doctors for ultrasound results !
wasnt good ! i had got mild psoc in my left ovary but what shocked me was to find out i had a dermoid cyst / tumour , 6cm x 6 cm in my right ovary
and it needed to come out . nect day i received my referel, appointment is the 11th jan , will find out more and when it comes out then . 9/12/06 , Last af , was only 2 days long
but killed my hopes for a bfp for xmas, had to make decsions whether to continue trying in dec or wait till after treatment , found myself still temping lol stuck the dh on zinc and got in the magic meds ! i couldnt not try , what if this was my month !12/12/06 , had my 6 month colpcospy to check all pre-cancerous cells have gone awaiting results now
sorry for long post , just an easy way to start my diary ! im so glad i found u girls , even if its made me obssed even more as theres so many tummy pics to envy at lol but knowing im not the only one goign through this is great !
awaiting ovualtion now , thats if i didnt yesterday/ today . This really is my last chance before ill prob have to have surgery , im scared that if i loose an ovary durring the op it will half my chances and with me also have pcos i dont like what the future hold , have already been told id have to loose alot of weight before having ivf , and thats so hard , pcos had made me put on nearly 3 stone
and it doesnt seem to want to shift so here's to the next few months
for me and everyone ttc , babydust to all !
had a tiny show of sm last night but otherwise thats it , so im thinking im not gonna catch this month as ive really had nothing !
i guess i just have to wait it out , see what it does but i think this is the stressfull time enough in the 2ww , never mind when ur chart isnt doing what u ecpect it to do ! 
