Frustrated

[Kimberly]

I had a D and C three weeks ago tomorrow and I'm still spotting and testing postive on HPTs. I know that it could take awhile for the bleeding to stop, but the surgeon told me not to test for two weeks because it would take that long for the hormones to leave my body.

So today I called the midwife at my surgery because I was kind of concerned. When I told her about the positives she got mad and asked me three times. "Why would you be taking a pregnancy test? You know you're not pregnant, you've just had a D and C. " It was really upsetting. Is that really that abnormal? I told her because I wanted to make sure everything was resolved. She said I should wait six weeks before testing again.

I told her that I've read that sometimes if there is still tissue left that you can continue to have positive results. She said "Is that what you're worried about? Where did you have the D and C done?" When I told her, she said "Oh well they would have made sure they got it all" WTF?

I'm just so frustrated and upset. I guess what I needed was for her to say "Don't worry its normal, it could be six weeks" Not act like I'm an idiot because I'm already taking pregnancy tests. It really sucks because I didn't want to call her in the first place, but DH was bugging me to call. I told him she would be no help. In the end she said I'll be fine in six weeks.

Thanks for reading this. i know it was kind of long, but I needed to vent. I had to call her while I was at work because she is only available for calls between 12-12:30. I was in tears after the call and I've been feeling like crap ever since.

 

[tracey 2]

aww hun

She sounded very rude im sorry you had to listen to her say that its not very nice i know! Im angry for you now hun, sometimes all you want is a bit of reassurance and they cant even give you that.

Anyway hun i hope your ok and give me a shout if you want to talk hun

 

[Steelgoddess]

Maybe you're taking preggo tests because your trying to hang onto the pregnancy why cant SHE (the midwife) understand that what an insensitive woman!!! ...

You are not abnormal you are grieving, i know its hard but try not to do the preggy tests because it might upset you more petal...

Give yourself time to grieve, i hope you feel better soon, i know its not fun

xxx

 

[NickyB]

That's awful! Really.

I was told to take a test after three weeks, and no matter how good a doctor or hospital is, it's totally possible for anyone to make a mistake. You'd think having been through what you have, she might be a bit more sympathetic. I'd consider complaining about that, that's really shocking. Luckily, everyone I've seen has been fantastically nice to me :/

 

[katyk]

If you have any further questions/ problems you could call the EPAU at the hospital. They were quite good when I rang.

And yes they had missed a bit No problem though it just took a bit longer to get back to normal.

But wait and see if you are still bleeding after 2 weeks, or if the bleeding is heavy, before ringing them.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Evil bitch how can they be so insensitive, you do go strabge after a MC and you do try and hold onit. She should realise that.

Hun what your doing is normal but its not going to help.Leave it a few weesk and let the hormones get out of your system.Then you become a obsessive member of the poas association you know you trying again with a fresh start and no pregnancy hormones inside of you at all.So when you get your BFP its a real one.

I know im not very helpful but accepting what has happend will hewlp you move on and if you keep holding ontyo your pregnancy, your body cant move on with you as feelings and emotions are all tied in with TTC.

Good luck sweetie and have a weekend away if you can and spend time with your loved ones you can help you move on with this.

 

[Babylicious]

 

[Kimberly]

Thanks everyone. Its not that I'm holding on to the pregnancy. Its just that mentally I am ready to TTC again and I feel like I need to know the pregnancy hormones are gone and see a negative before my body will be ready to try again. The doctor at the hospital told me it should take two weeks for the hormones to leave my body, its been three weeks now so I thought they would be gone. I just want to feel normal again.

I'm just surprised at her reaction. You'd think a midwife would be trained to be sensitive to people with miscarriages and offer them reassurance that its normal instead of being mean.

 

[katyk]

ring the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit where you went/attached to the hosp where you had your d + c. Their number/a number of the hosp will be on the paperwork you were given when you had your d + c. This particular person is being cr*p but no point getting too annoyed at her- EPAU are the only ones that can help/scan/know about it.

A midwife just won't be as used as they are to dealing with women post d + c/miscarriage as it's not her job. (Though there's no need for her to be nasty.) Once you've lost the baby you're no longer under her effectively but under the hosp that did your operation.

So if you are still bleeding say, on Mon, ring them. But I reckon if you are getting a negative test your spotting should stop in a few days. But you could ring them for some reassurance.

 

[Kimberly]

Thanks KatyK. The strange thing is that the hospital did not give me any paperwork at all. No instructions or anything. The doctor that spoke with me in the hospital after my d and c said that if I had problems afterwards to contact my midwife or GP. She said if the problems were serious then to go to AE. I don't even have the number to the EPU. I think you are right though and the EPU would be the best place to start. I think I'll wait till next week and then try in get in touch with them through the hospital.

Thanks for your help.

 

[Kimberly]

oops! posted twice

 

[jenna]

aww hun im so sorry, i hate people like that. They always act as if you have no feelings and just assume you know what to do all the time. I i know its easier said than done but try not to worry.

 

[puppylove]

Thats terrible how rude of her u'd a thought she would b a bit more helpful instead of unhelpful, hope ur feeling ok

 

[katyk]

Thanks KatyK. The strange thing is that the hospital did not give me any paperwork at all. No instructions or anything. The doctor that spoke with me in the hospital after my d and c said that if I had problems afterwards to contact my midwife or GP. She said if the problems were serious then to go to AE. I don't even have the number to the EPU. I think you are right though and the EPU would be the best place to start. I think I'll wait till next week and then try in get in touch with them through the hospital.

Thanks for your help.

Pants! You could get them through ringing the hospital switchboard. But they should have given you a bit, or at least a copy of the consent form you have to sign or something

Anyway I bet they will be ok if you have to ring.

Best wishes

 

[Kimberly]

I just thought I would update..... I got my first AF today, 5 weeks after D and C. I've never been so excited to see AF. I finally called the EPU on Monday as I still had a positive pregnany test and I knew that there was no possible way that I could be pregant again. They told me to test again on Friday and if it was still positive to come in for a scan. Hopefully now that AF is here it will have sorted itself out. Back to TTC!

 

[Kimberly]

I just thought I would update..... I got my first AF today, 5 weeks after D and C. I've never been so excited to see AF. I finally called the EPU on Monday as I still had a positive pregnany test and I knew that there was no possible way that I could be pregant again. They told me to test again on Friday and if it was still positive to come in for a scan. Hopefully now that AF is here it will have sorted itself out. Back to TTC!

 

[Zobo]

Hi , just reading your post, just wondering how your getting on?? have you got a negative yet?

I got told after my m/c that i would still get BFP for about 2 weeks,but i kept testing and ended up getting a postive for 7 weeks! altho i started TTC 3 weeks after m/c coz i wanted to start again!

but now im getting negatives for nearly 3 weeks now, so im just waiting for that BFP to appear again!!
but i know what you mean by the midwife etc... ohhh their so insensitive!

i had my very first midwife appointment a couple of days after i started spotting, (bear in mind never had a baby so was pretty nervous meeting a midwife, hadnt a clue what to expect!)

she introduced herself etc, and i then told her that i was spotting, and she changed her tone strait away, and said, oh well, theres no point carrying on this first appointment, as its not looking good news!!!

I was like WTF!!!!!! I couldnt beleive she was sooo insensitive!

theres me clinging onto every bit of hope i had that it was just first trimester spotting and that things would be ok and then BAM... i felt like i was a total let down!!
i left the building and sat in my car and cried!!!

ARGHHHHhhhhhhh why cant people just be NICE!!!!

OOops, sorry but of a rant there.... lol....
anyway, hope your ok! are you TTC again now???

 

[Kimberly]

Hi there,

I'm so sorry about your loss. I can't believe the midwife said that to you! That is awful. Even if midwives aren't trained to deal with people who are miscarrying.... you'd think that being a fellow human being they would show some compassion!

I tested on Saturday and got a BFP, but I tested today and BFN!! I'm so relieved for it to finally be over. I had thought about TTC before I got my first AF, but I just never felt up to it. Now that I feel my body is somewhat back to normal, we've started up again. Unfortunately I will probably ovulate next week and I'll be visiting family in Texas while DH stays behind in London.

 

[Babylicious]

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Im so happy af has come at last and you can now start charting your cycle and start to get excited again cos it will happen again when your body is ready for it.

Good luck darlin and im sending you lots of