Frightened to ask for help

[Gravidgecko]

I have always been a strong advocate of asking for help from your gp when you feel you need it.
However, this time I am frightened that asking for support will come back to bite me.

I've always had a weaker lower back with a lot of sciatic pain in my back and hips. I'm only 21 weeks pregnant but I'm already starting to struggle with pain. I'm due to go back to work on Monday after 7 weeks off and I know that I'm going to struggle even more being on my feet all day, especially as my pregnancy progresses.

But I'm afraid to ask for help this time as i had a higher bmi starting out. I have my heart set on a water birth, but given that the nhs guidelines state I may not be allowed one due to my BMI, I am frightened to put something else on my chart that they might use in the case against me having one. I asked the midwife about water birth and she said it would be up to my consultant. I'm frightened to ask for help but I am really struggling. It's quite painful, especially trying to sleep (even with a pillow between my knees).

Has anyone experienced anything similar. Any advice?

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[BunnyN]

Sorry I can't help but I feel your quandary. In theory back issues shouldn't make a difference to your birth but you are never quite sure what a consultant might drag up. One MW made a big deal over my BMI with my first and how it would make labour harder but I have had two lovely home births without issue.

 

[Gravidgecko]

That's actually very reassuring

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[Tillyfloss]

Could you buy a maternity support belt for when at work? Wear it under your clothes it will support you and help x

 

[mummywanabe]

Gravid I also have a high BMI and have also had issues with my back and hips both pregnancies, they've actually suggested to me a water birth might be the way to go to take the pressure off my back and hips, you never know what they'll say but do not suffer, they're they're to support you and if u don't feel supported then tell them sometimes they forget

 

[Gravidgecko]

Thanks guys. First full day back at work today. My feet and legs are aching so I've bought some more supportive shoes on way home. Back not great but not as bad as I had feared. Will look into a support belt and will try to speak with midwife at my next appointment. Hopefully she will be understanding xx

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[KeelyT90]

Don't suffer, I have severe SPD & SJD with my pregnancy, I am on crutches and have been since 11 weeks, I wear a maternity pelvic support belt (not really much help) and I am also on 30/500mg of cocodamol and even they're not helping now. You need to get some help. Don't be afraid you could have an actual condition, don't just assume its due to your BMI, hope you get some relief soon x

 

[Valentina92]

I cant really help either but just wanted to say: Wouldnt a water birth help you with your back pains? I think thats why they say swimming is good for pregnant women too because it relieves some of the extra weight you're carrying around. x

 

[Sugarpop]

I'm not pregnant but I've got an issue with my hips and my back (pretty much everything from my hips down, joint and muscle wise) and my consultants have always said that being in water is the best thing.

If I ever do get pregnant I would want a water birth and will fight them all the way for it. When my SIL was pregnant she was overweight and her BMI was 40+. She had lots of complications in the end and never once did they mention her weight.

If you need help, ask for it my dear. You need to do what will help you now because your pregnancy will be a real struggle if your in constant pain.

Also, if your consultant says no to a waterbirth find a new consultant. Providing baby is healthy and your reasonably healthy (and able to get in and out of the pool with your back and hips) there should be no reason why you can't plan for the birth you want.

 

[Sugarpop]

Also, about work, have they done a risk assessment? If your in a job where you can, ask for a chair instead of having to stand. Alternatively, see if you can get increased break times at different intervals?

 

[Pambi]

Hi love, you know the way you give birth isn't important, its what you get at the end that is magical.

I would honestly advise that you prioritise your own and baby's health over an ideal about how you give birth. Even if you do have some complications now, getting them treated doesn't mean for sure there's a line through your birth plans. Not getting them treated is just as likely put you in a worse position.

Water births are slightly more risky to your baby anyway, a midwife cannot see quickly if baby is in distress (like they can when you have the monitor and graphs) and baby is at a slightly higher risk of infection being born into water that is likely contaminated with blood and maternal stool.

 

[BunnyN]

I know you mean well by your comment bambi but there really is little evidence about increased dangers of water birth. The increased risks of water birth that I know have have to do with unattended home births, other than that it is mostly conjecture. In a well controlled enviroment with trained medical staff any risks really are very low. Of course any choice has risks and benefits but a water birth oftern decreases the need for other forms of pain relief and interventions which come with increased risks of their own. Personally I never fancied a water birth but it does offer great benefits beyond just 'the experience', although I don't see anything wrong with wanting to have as good an experience as possible. Of course things can change during pregnancy or labour that require you to be flexible and change plans but I don't think there is anything wrong for making plans to have the birth you want.

 

[Pambi]

^^ what do you mean evidence? Baby can't be monitored as effectively and the water can be contaminated and they're facts. Jeez.

 

[BunnyN]

Sorry I didn't mean to offend. I just meant its easy to assume that these things make water birth more risky than a 'conventional ' hospital birth but the studies that have been done about it don't really indicate an increased risk to mothers and babies. Continual electronic monitoring for example does lead to an increase in interventions (thought to be largely due to false readings) but the statistics in outcome for babies are no better than from intermediate monitoring done by a skilled MW. Its not really the place to start a debate about it anyway because thats not what the thread is about. I was just trying to share information and point out why the OP may be keen on the idea of a water birth. Anyone who is interested can look into it themselves.

 

[YorksLass]

I don't have high bmi, but had some hip problems and had a water birth and it did wonders for the pain! I also went swimming quite a bit in 3rd trimester, which was bliss... really helped take the weight off and soothe the aches! I'd likely be up front about a back problem, as you shouldn't have to put up with it if you can get help - as was mentioned, a water birth might actually be recommended in your case. But don't worry if you can't have one - I think some people really get their heart set on birthing a certain way and can be so disappointed if it doesn't work out. It'll still be an amazing moment in your life no matter what
In a water birth, they can monitor the baby just fine - they use the Doppler frequently underwater and can get you out in no time if there's any problem. And it certainly isn't any less hygienic than birthing on a bed!

 

[Gravidgecko]

I cant really help either but just wanted to say: Wouldnt a water birth help you with your back pains? I think thats why they say swimming is good for pregnant women too because it relieves some of the extra weight you're carrying around. x

It absolutely would. Unfortunately in my experience the nhs are so afraid of being sued these days that any kind of logic send to go out the window the second you have any kind of 'label'.

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[Gravidgecko]

Also, about work, have they done a risk assessment? If your in a job where you can, ask for a chair instead of having to stand. Alternatively, see if you can get increased break times at different intervals?

I'm a teacher so it's mostly up to me to take a seat when I need it. Other than that if I'm struggling I can speak to my boss and they'll help in any way they can I'm sure

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[Gravidgecko]

Thanks everyone. I've to see my midwife in 2 weeks time so I'll mention things to her then. It seems to go back and forth between really hurting and not bothering me at all lol. I do think a water birth would help support my weight so hopefully it will work out, but if not I'll still have a wonderful little baby to take home at the end of it all

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