Feeling tired scared and so confused

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Zoe S, Jul 3, 2013.

  1. Zoe S

    Zoe S Well-Known Member

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    I went for my 12 week scan on Friday expecting to see our baby as i had had no signs of anything being wrong and was already showing and still growing! To find out I had suffered a missed miscarriage at what they think was about 8 weeks, my hubby was away on deployment but luckily my mum had come with me.
    When they took me to another room so a doctor could come and talk to me about the next step all I could see was the scan picture on the screen in my head :'( as soon as I had seen it i knew there was something wrong. When the doctor came and spoke to me and gave me all my options I decided that the medication option was for me.
    Not everyone thinks i have taken the right option and that I should have just got for the DnC,
    But for me I felt I needed to go through the miscarriage so I could get my head around what had happened and not just gone from having a bump and all the symptoms to waking p empty :(
    I had my first dose of medication yesterday and wasn't expecting anything to happen till my second lot on Thursday but it didnt take long to start now I'm just on a waiting game, my husband was sent on RnR early so is here but I think he is struggling to but being strong for me.
    I feel so bad as all I can think is I want it over with :(
     
  2. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Really sorry about your loss Hun. Hope it happens quickly for you and isn't drawn out. Take care of yourself, we're all here if you want to talk about it. This site has helped me loads x
     
  3. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for your loss hun. I'm glad your husband has got his rnr so he can be with you as you will need the support. I havent had medical management but have experienced a silent miscarriage, feel free to message me if you want a chat xxx
     
  4. coz78

    coz78 Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry your going through this. I completely understand your reasons for choosing the medication over surgery. When my scan showed no heartbeat I was told to go home and wait for 2 weeks to see if I would miscarry naturally and if I didn't then they would give me an erpc. I wasn't offered any other option. 2 weeks later I had the erpc. But those 2 weeks had given me hope they'd got it wrong. I woke up with that feeling you mentioned which is why I understand your choice. I'm glad your husbands r'n'r was brought forward so he can support you and my heart goes out to him too because he'll have to go back and leave you at such an awfull time. I'm always around if you need someone x
     
  5. Zoe S

    Zoe S Well-Known Member

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    Thank you I have friends that have been here but talking to them doesn't seem to help right now as most of them already have children or are pregnant successfully and don't know how to explain to them that as much as I love knowing I have so much support they have there children or will have soon as seems inventive but can't help the way I'm feeling right now.
    I know what you mean about the false hope coz as until yesterday I kept having dreams that they had got in wrong and felt that it could be the case also a reason why. Want the medication otherwise I don't think I would get my head round it and almost feel it hadn't happened.
    You hear about these things happening just never think it will happen to you :(
     
  6. coz78

    coz78 Well-Known Member

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    It is always a shock and more often than not there is no reason why which makes the whole grieving process harder. I'm sure your friends understand how you feel and it is ok to feel like that. The ladies on here are wonderful and someone always knows where you're coming from. X
     
  7. T84

    T84 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry you are going through this x x
     
  8. Gaelforce

    Gaelforce Well-Known Member

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    so sorry to hear this xx
     
  9. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for your loss honey!!
     
  10. AKSH

    AKSH Well-Known Member

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    When I had my first MC I found it really difficult because I still had all the PG symptoms. Mine was different as it was earlier and I had had bleeding which signalled it. But still v hard. I opted for the EVAP which is like a D&C but you're awake and they use an ultrasound to do the procedure. With a D&C they effectively go in blind and hope they get it all. Not sure if EVAP is an option. I just wanted it over so I could try again. My second MC I didn't need anything as again I was already bleeding and my HCG levels had already dropped a lot. Very horrible times for you. Stay strong and do the beat you can. X
     
  11. flisstebbs

    flisstebbs Well-Known Member

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    My first mc sounds very similar to your experience except that i took the D&C option. Everyone has to do what feels right, i did def feel stragely guilty for taking the "easy way out" with the D&C. The range of emotions you go through with this is so hard to cope with, and depsite having some good friends, I've felt like you, its not something anyone understands unless they have gone through it. By my 4th mc, noone knew what to say at all, so avoided me!

    Take care of yourself and your OH, they find it harder than they can put into words.

    Don't feel guilty about wanting it to be over, i think everyone in this situation feels the same, I know i always do once they tell me its def over.

    I found (and still find) this forum a massive source of support as mc still seems to be such a taboo subject.

    xxx
     
  12. Zoe S

    Zoe S Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everyone have found it so helpful to just get it out without upsetting anyone. I had hard time with the contractions on Wednesday night and ended up rushed into hospital because the bleeding was more than normal and I was having panic attacks never been so scared in my life! Luckily t was just that some o the tissue had gotten lodged but I am 100% recovered now and glad everything is over with! and as horrible as it sounds if I ever have to choose again I think I'll be opting for D&C xx also fond out my blood group is negative and my OH is O pos which can be a factor but apparently they have changed there guidelines on giving out KD jabs so I wasn't given it xxx
     
  13. nbrintz

    nbrintz Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry x
     
  14. jojo3972

    jojo3972 Well-Known Member

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    Realy sorry fir ur loss :-( I also opted for medical managed with my first mmc and it was horrendous I lost lots if blood and tissue but my baby didnt budge I had to have Erpc in the end so with my second one I opted for the Erpc no question about it seems my body doesn't like to let go of my babies :-( , hope ur ok and please come here and let ur grief outif unread to it helped me a lot xxx
     

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