Feeling so upset about having to return to work :-(

[Nat26]

It may be worth finding out all ur possibilities and at least you'll be able to work towards working from home u know?
Ur in such a hard situation.. Proper supermum you are!!!

I definitely will try to make sure there are options open. I have at least a few more precious weeks at home which I will try to make the most of I don't think I'll be a super mum, more likely a very tired mum!!

 

[pinkyprincess]

Is your company allowed to do this? As ur on maternity they would need To keep whichever position open wouldn't they? I'd ring citizens advice?

 

[Jayceesmumma]

U should get redundancy money but I suppose they are offering you this job as compensation..?
Defo a supermum!!
I wouldnt be able to let someone else bring up my kids tbh I know I'll probably get ranted at for saying that but I love giving the kids one on one til they go to school.. There are pros to it too, they get more independent and less clingy to mummy like mine are lol!

 

[Sarah13]

It's so hard isn't it? I went back to a full time job in the RAF when my DD was 16 weeks working shifts and going on dets so I feel your pain. I used to pop in to see her on my lunch breaks as she was with a childminder. Your weekends and evenings become more special. My DD used to go to bed around 8.30pm so we had time together in the evenings. You should still be able to breast feed as employers still have to respect that and allow time and a space for you to go and pump. I decided to only feed DD morning and night as in those days you weened at 4 months so she had formula and food while I was at work. Build up a freezer full of milk now to give yourself a head start for when you go back. I must admit I really don't envy you, hope you can maybe get a foot in the door then drop your hours x

 

[Nat26]

Is your company allowed to do this? As ur on maternity they would need To keep whichever position open wouldn't they? I'd ring citizens advice?

I went to citizens advice and they weren't too helpful but they did give me a number for maternity action. I think unfortunately as my job is being made redundant all they have to do is give me first refusal of this other job, hence they need to know by tomorrow if I want to take it. Basically come the end of this month I will either be made redundant if I don't take this job or I will have a new job to start with a 4 week trial period.

 

[Nat26]

U should get redundancy money but I suppose they are offering you this job as compensation..?
Defo a supermum!!
I wouldnt be able to let someone else bring up my kids tbh I know I'll probably get ranted at for saying that but I love giving the kids one on one til they go to school.. There are pros to it too, they get more independent and less clingy to mummy like mine are lol!

Jack probably won't be too bothered if I'm there or not as he will hardly see me I totally understand how you feel as if things were different I'd want to be with him for a lot longer. To be honest your never going to be happy with how someone else brings up your own children.

 

[Nat26]

It's so hard isn't it? I went back to a full time job in the RAF when my DD was 16 weeks working shifts and going on dets so I feel your pain. I used to pop in to see her on my lunch breaks as she was with a childminder. Your weekends and evenings become more special. My DD used to go to bed around 8.30pm so we had time together in the evenings. You should still be able to breast feed as employers still have to respect that and allow time and a space for you to go and pump. I decided to only feed DD morning and night as in those days you weened at 4 months so she had formula and food while I was at work. Build up a freezer full of milk now to give yourself a head start for when you go back. I must admit I really don't envy you, hope you can maybe get a foot in the door then drop your hours x

Thanks Sarah, I will definitely start pumping to get a freezer full of milk (oh dear I'm going to feel like a cow).
It feels like the worst thing in the world to do and one of the things I'm going to hate most about it is Jack will know his Daddy and whoever else helps us out more than me
How is your relationship now with your daughter? Do you think it made a real difference not being there for her all the time?

 

[Nat26]

Would it be mean to try to change Jack's sleeping pattern so he stays up longer?? Not sure if I could anyway

 

[pinkyprincess]

Surely it's worth ringing maternity action, they might be able to help with something. I think also you have a right to ask for flexible working times now too and they have to consider your request.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Would it be mean to try to change Jack's sleeping pattern so he stays up longer?? Not sure if I could anyway

Do what you feel will make you happier.. Happy mummy = happy baby! He will always love u most as he knows ur the one who carried him for 9months and have kept him fed warm and safe since birth, he won't forget u or favour someone else babe

 

[JoS]

Like everyone has said you are not being a bad mummy, you are doing whats right for your little family.
I run a nursery and several of our childrens mums work full time, they find it hard at first but they also say that it helps them to cherish the time they have with their little ones. The days off and the holidays that they have are priceless.
So as hard as it is try not to beat yourself up about it, I'm sure people will respect you for making a tough decision, but for doing whats right for your family xx

 

[Nat26]

Thanks everyone for being so supportive I will make the most of every second I'm not working. I will also look into flexible working and maybe in the future I could reduce my hours to part time if possible.

I think the first day is just going to be the worst ever....I've only ever left Jack for half hour a couple of times since he was born

 

[Pinkprincess23]

You should be extremely proud of yourself for considering going back fulltime. There was something on the news earlier about alot of mothers having to take low paid jobs when they return to work cos thier companies wont take them back fulltime.

I feel physically sick with the though of having to return back to work.....I really dont want to go back to my old job so Im looking at new jobs atm.

 

[Nat26]

You should be extremely proud of yourself for considering going back fulltime. There was something on the news earlier about alot of mothers having to take low paid jobs when they return to work cos thier companies wont take them back fulltime.

I feel physically sick with the though of having to return back to work.....I really dont want to go back to my old job so Im looking at new jobs atm.

Thanks, It the hardest decision I think I will ever have to make I'm sure a lot of mums take lower paid jobs because they can work in the evenings maybe when their los are asleep?

I have no idea how I am going to cope with the demands of a very busy fulltime job and looking after my lo.... He is just starting the early stage of teething I think as he has been screaming all day which is very unlike him. My OH wil have his work cut out for him, I really think he has no clue how difficult it will be. He thinks staying at home is easy!!

 

[Sarah13]

It's so hard isn't it? I went back to a full time job in the RAF when my DD was 16 weeks working shifts and going on dets so I feel your pain. I used to pop in to see her on my lunch breaks as she was with a childminder. Your weekends and evenings become more special. My DD used to go to bed around 8.30pm so we had time together in the evenings. You should still be able to breast feed as employers still have to respect that and allow time and a space for you to go and pump. I decided to only feed DD morning and night as in those days you weened at 4 months so she had formula and food while I was at work. Build up a freezer full of milk now to give yourself a head start for when you go back. I must admit I really don't envy you, hope you can maybe get a foot in the door then drop your hours x

Thanks Sarah, I will definitely start pumping to get a freezer full of milk (oh dear I'm going to feel like a cow).
It feels like the worst thing in the world to do and one of the things I'm going to hate most about it is Jack will know his Daddy and whoever else helps us out more than me
How is your relationship now with your daughter? Do you think it made a real difference not being there for her all the time?

It used to break my heart sometimes but i think you torture yourself as they always know who mummy is. I have a close relationship with her but she's always been really close to her dad too as we looked after her equally over the years. She went to a nursery at 2.5 which was good for her to mix and she's always been independent and adaptable. Its good Jack will be looked after mostly by his daddy though. it makes you realise how men must feel going back to work, I feel sorry for my hubby each time he goes off shore. Guess we do these things to give our kids a nice life, home and security.

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[Pinkprincess23]

You should be extremely proud of yourself for considering going back fulltime. There was something on the news earlier about alot of mothers having to take low paid jobs when they return to work cos thier companies wont take them back fulltime.

I feel physically sick with the though of having to return back to work.....I really dont want to go back to my old job so Im looking at new jobs atm.

Thanks, It the hardest decision I think I will ever have to make I'm sure a lot of mums take lower paid jobs because they can work in the evenings maybe when their los are asleep?

I have no idea how I am going to cope with the demands of a very busy fulltime job and looking after my lo.... He is just starting the early stage of teething I think as he has been screaming all day which is very unlike him. My OH wil have his work cut out for him, I really think he has no clue how difficult it will be. He thinks staying at home is easy!!

Yeah my OH thinks its easy staying at home with LO......He has many a times felt the wrath of my tongue on that 1! I do everything in the house....all he does is go to work! Aswell as looking after LO I cook/clean/do the washing/make all the meals (even his food to go to work)/the shopping!

he works shifts 6.50am-4.20pm and 4.20pm-2.20am! our family all work full time so when I go back im going to have to put LO in a nursery. I have ordered brouchures for all my local ones and the prices are rediculous! my wage is basically gona pay for it which I dont see the point in going back to work! OH is applying for a new job which means 3 shifts and alot more money which will be good for us. Its no the wonder some mothers choose not to go back to work with the cost of childcare!

 

[Sarah13]

And its not mean to alter his sleep as quality time together is important to both of you, he could have a longer nap earlier so he's happier in the evening. You will manage to juggle everything, us women always do! X

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[Nat26]

You should be extremely proud of yourself for considering going back fulltime. There was something on the news earlier about alot of mothers having to take low paid jobs when they return to work cos thier companies wont take them back fulltime.

I feel physically sick with the though of having to return back to work.....I really dont want to go back to my old job so Im looking at new jobs atm.

Thanks, It the hardest decision I think I will ever have to make I'm sure a lot of mums take lower paid jobs because they can work in the evenings maybe when their los are asleep?

I have no idea how I am going to cope with the demands of a very busy fulltime job and looking after my lo.... He is just starting the early stage of teething I think as he has been screaming all day which is very unlike him. My OH wil have his work cut out for him, I really think he has no clue how difficult it will be. He thinks staying at home is easy!!

Yeah my OH thinks its easy staying at home with LO......He has many a times felt the wrath of my tongue on that 1! I do everything in the house....all he does is go to work! Aswell as looking after LO I cook/clean/do the washing/make all the meals (even his food to go to work)/the shopping!

he works shifts 6.50am-4.20pm and 4.20pm-2.20am! our family all work full time so when I go back im going to have to put LO in a nursery. I have ordered brouchures for all my local ones and the prices are rediculous! my wage is basically gona pay for it which I dont see the point in going back to work! OH is applying for a new job which means 3 shifts and alot more money which will be good for us. Its no the wonder some mothers choose not to go back to work with the cost of childcare!

Oh yes I know the cost of nursery is ridiculous even if you are earning a very good wage. I think the minimum cost is £1100 month which is a hell of a lot of money to pay for someone else to bring up your child! I wouldn't go back if I had the choice, what is the point if all your money goes on childcare??

I look forward to seeing my OH do everything round the house while I'm at work, that should make interesting posts in the future lol

 

[Nat26]

And its not mean to alter his sleep as quality time together is important to both of you, he could have a longer nap earlier so he's happier in the evening. You will manage to juggle everything, us women always do! X

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Thats so true, I'm glad to hear that despite going back to work you have managed so well. I truely admire you for working so hard when you had your daughter. I'm so pleased this time round you are able to spend more time with Kynon though - He is a very lucky little boy