Feeling low about friendship changes

[Countrybumpkin]

I thought it might happen but was hoping that it wouldn't. Last Friday friends arranged a girly night, on Facebook and not even a word to me to see if i wanted to go. They must have decided between them that because i am pregnant i wouldn't be interested and not even asked. It didn't both me to much, but the more i think about it over the week, the more upset i have got.

A good girly night is sometimes all that is needed, even if i can not drink i can still have fun and a good laugh. Feeling really low about it. One of the girls I have been friends with since the beginning of secondary school (18 years) and another for 14 years. Why do people do this??

 

[rbryan0205]

oh perhaps they just dont know how the dynamics of your friendship will work perhaps talking to them about it will help them understand you would still be up for going out??

 

[serenitylove]

id ask them why you wernt asked

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

When your pregnant you relise who your real friends are! Maybe mention that next time they go out, you'd like to go! Hardly any of my friends have bothered with me during this pregnancy not even phone calls or txts! I had a baby shower and only 6 people came but when they invite me to things I've got to go cos they get funny!! Keep your chin up hun, your not the only one feeling like this x x

 

[flexilexi394]

I am havingthe same issues with a lot of my girl pals too. I hate it! It's really put of order on their part, and none of them seem to understand at all. It's the worst feeling being excluded. I totally know how you feel, it's rubbish! X

 

[rbryan0205]

yes one of my best friend who had her 3rd baby last may has hardly spoke to me for the past 3 months she moved about 2 mile away before she lived next door but one and its like she cant be bothered its so frustrating

 

[Citygirl1]

My "supposed" best mate is the same. I'm not looking for constant attention or anything but since i announced i was pregnant she hasn't made the effort to come through and see me. We did try arrange a couple of things but she conveniently forgot about them and went out drinking instead. I was only looking for her to come through and grab a cuppa or something but nothing. So i haven't been bothering my shirt tbh, as Lacey says, you find out who your real friends are when your pregnant.

 

[K&A]

this may sound very sad but i have one friend. I have people i know and speak to but my one real friend is the girl i went to school with. She had her first LO 3 years ago after she was told she couldn't have children after going through the menopause at 13 yrs old and having 3/4 ovaries taken away. He was a little miracle. She has been so good to me through my pregnancy. And tbh if those girls are been like that with you then do you really care that they left you out. It could be as simple as they didn't want you to come out and get knocked about. Big hugs hun.. Im sure it will work out x

 

[isobel84]

i had that a few weeks back, the girls from work was talking on facebook about this party they had had.. i wasnt asked either..

And since going on Mleave, well to be honest, the once i did think would be bothered have not even txt or phoned me atall. I have 1 lady from work that drags me out everyweek for lunch which is really nice and i got 2 that have called and txt and want to meet up! thats it really.. its sad cuz you think they are your friends and suddenly you are all on your own.. but i do wonder, when Noa is born, are they all gonna wanna come around or will they still ignore me? I know tht the ones that have bothered with me since Mleave will be the first ones i invite around to meet my little boy.

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Ive kinda had the same feeling evelina, once ive had the baby, everyone will wanna know cos they wanna see the baby! I'm putting my foot down though, for those who cba during the pregnancy can stay away after too!

 

[bearsmummy]

Only one of my friends talk to me now no one else bothers with me now I have liv x


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[isobel84]

its out of order!! well i hope i make new friends in baby groups and i will try my best to do things with noa so i can meet other mums even tho im really shy around new ppl.

 

[flexilexi394]

Yeh a lot of the time I think it's about meeting new people, rather than holding on to your old friends who seem to just lose interest! So strange! But just look forward at meeting new pals who have aimilar interests, not necessarily just with babies either. X

 

[K&A]

shame we all don't live closer.. Its groups like this where you have the great support from people uve never met..better support than real so called friends x

 

[Rayoflight]

Oh ladies, made me feel really sad for you reading all this. I'm lucky and happy to report that all of my friends have been great. Also my sis has had a baby and we're the closest we've ever been.

I hope all your friends realise they're upsetting you and sort out their ways. And at least we all have each other, virtually of course but it still counts. Love to you all xxx

 

[sexyamy2005]

ive had the same with my mates too, i guess cos im the only one out of us all who settled down early n got married last yr, n now baby on the way, they dont invite me out anymore, or they do, but never confirm anything in stone with me n then the pics pop up or someone mentions it a few weeks after....

im kinda looking forward to going to some of the local mum n baby groups, but not that introducing yourself n getting to know people stage, if ya kno what i mean,

im sure most of them will like youve said sneak bak in when babys here to sneak a peak, n then bugga off,lol

xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

sexyamy - i hate the getting to know people thing, its rubbish!! x

 

[Countrybumpkin]

Thanks ladies.
I sounds so stupid, but it is upsetting when you have been friends with people for such a long time. It isn't like they haven't got other friends with babies either, just feel sad, that it is probably the end of and era, but i am now looking forward to a new era. Thanks all.

 

[skimpy]

I thought it might happen but was hoping that it wouldn't. Last Friday friends arranged a girly night, on Facebook and not even a word to me to see if i wanted to go. They must have decided between them that because i am pregnant i wouldn't be interested and not even asked. It didn't both me to much, but the more i think about it over the week, the more upset i have got.

A good girly night is sometimes all that is needed, even if i can not drink i can still have fun and a good laugh. Feeling really low about it. One of the girls I have been friends with since the beginning of secondary school (18 years) and another for 14 years. Why do people do this??

Don't let these feelings beat you! why don't you arrange a girly night like pampering or something else you would like to do, or a baby shower? the girls probably didn't think.

No doubt some friends will vanish over time, but the real ones will stay by your side and will be fascinated by your new arrival. Its like school/college...a life changing event (like having family) will always result in a clearout of the dead wood!!!! there will always be a few who, for their own reasons cant/dont want to adapt to the new situation.

 

[Sera-tonin]

I can relate, except that I am from Canada originally and have only been in England for 2 years. It is so difficult making friends in England. I am sure you will make new mommy friends once the baby arrives At least this is what I am hoping for! Good luck!