Feeling lonely :(

[snowbee]

I sort of let on to my mum last week and that was a massive mistake. I knew it was risky knowing her views on mc (well it wasn't a baby anyway!) but still I shouldn't have bothered hoping for some support from there. It can be such a lonely place.

I don't know what to say, I can't imagine a mother reacting that way. Did she ever miscarry? Just wondering if that's the reasoning behind her reaction/view, trying to make it easier to deal. With herself?

All I can do is offer hugs and love Snowbee

No she never had any mc. Her view is that it isn't a baby until it is born safely. She had a pregnancy that involved a difficult birth resulting in the loss of an up until that point healthy baby and that is where her view stems from. I've not explained it well and I think she is wrong but that is how she has chosen to deal with it. I suspect that also accounts for us not being particularly close. Either way I wish I hadn't bothered saying anything.

 

[Lucyboo]

Snowbee. That's awful and it's the kind of crap my MIL would have come out with. 4 days after I found out we had problems she suggested we should consider adoption and 2-3 months after she said we should think about giving up, I mean WTF!!!
I know I'm so lucky to have our little miracle which is why we aren't getting obsessed about having another but would be nice for her to have a brother or sister. I am just frustrated with my crappy cycles. My last period was just after Christmas!!!

 

[Blueflower]

Hi Broody, sorry you are feeling lonely, TTC long term is such a lonely place and no one else understands. Have you been on the Long Term boards? There are some of us who have been there literally years! Its really supportive and has been a lifeline for me when in real life you care constantly bombarded by babies, pregnant friends and colleagues and people getting pregnant straight away or by accident.

I am lucky in that lots of the ladies who were with me in the long term section and now have their babies so still pop back to see how I am doing. Its really nice. It does make me feel envious but its lovely to know they care, haven't forgotten and remember the struggle. Maybe some people are too busy to pop back but I think whilst looking after a baby they might still remember their friends who were in the same boat.

I hope we all eventually get our families and whatever happens I think this forum is brilliant and been a huge and extremely helpful part of my journey.

 

[stacesl3]

Sorry you're feeling lonely Broody, I sware TTC can be the lonliest thing ever, it really is brutal especially lttc! I've been at it for 3 years now...give or take have had a few months off here and there, managed to get pregnant twice and had early losses both times which have been absolutely hreatbreaking, sometimes I really dont know how I have the strength to go on!! I think we are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

Since I started trying two girls in my office got pregnant, had their babies and are now back at work, the other girl (there are only 4 of us in my immediate office) is now pregnant and due July. My neice had her first last April and is expecting again!!! (IT was a suprise!) and my nephew's wife is due next month!! Yep, sucks!!

This is a great place to come as there will always be someone who understand exactly what you are going through and what you are feeling which you dont always get in real life. xx

 

[phonixgirl]

Hey you. I'm still here! Never give up xxx you are most certainly not alone although I know what you mean. Blueflower made a good point - most days I only go on the LTTTC section. The ladies there understand out struggle and are very supportive. Big hugs xxx it will happen xxx

 

[kumber]

Ohh broody, I'm so sorry you're struggling! I'm back in ttc amd determined not to go all psycho again. I have so much respect to all the long term ttcers, I don't know how you keep doing it every month. Huge hugs my lovely, I'd love to be your ttc buddy and can offer much in the way of tea, cake and a shoulder

 

[elle2338]

I'm totally with you on how lonely this is, I've been ttc for 20 months too. I'm two days late coming on but got a bfn so just a matter of time
I've had my best friend get pregnant by accident and 4 other friends have babies in the time we've been trying and another who's now pregnant.
I try to stay positive but it's getting pretty soul destroying x

 

[elle2338]

Snowbee that's so awful what your mum said. It's horrible when your own mother isn't supportive, mine isn't the greatest either, always dropping comments that are hurtful like when people talk about grandchildren she says she's given up on that one! She has no idea we are ttc as she already puts too much pressure on us without knowing, it's so sad! I envy people who are close to their mothers. I'm just lucky to have an amazing Dad and Mother-in-law-to-be x

 

[Lahlou]

Hey, Broody!

I'm new to the board and currently in my first cycle TTC, so I can't begin to imagine how frustrated you must feel. The only way I can really relate is that I have been painfully broody and desperate for a baby for the last two years. My partner is terrified about supporting another child even though we're in good financial standing and have a great standard of life, but every month I would ask again and again and the answer would always be no.

It's so horrible when you see beautiful, glowing, pregnant ladies or even worse mothers ignoring their babies while they smoke a bloody cigarette near the pram (don't even get me started!!!!) and you think "why her? Why can she have a baby and I can't?!"

It's so painful and I don't think anyone can truly understand that ache!!

Definitely here for support, Broody. We're all in this together xxx

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

 

[broody2013]

I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your lovely comments and for sharing your experiences. It really helps to know other people understand especially when everyone around seems to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat and they wonder why you are struggling massive hugs to everyone xxxx