Feeling lonely :(

[broody2013]

After 20 months TTC a lot of the ladies I've got to know have moved on and are either pregnant or have had their babies. I'm CD1 today and I would really like to meet some new TTCers and/or for cycle buddies. I've met some lovely ladies on here and I'm glad most of them have moved on and I hope the rest of them do very soon but I have a strong feeling I will be TTC for years, and I have a gut feeling we will never get our BFP but we will come to that when we get there.

Anyone want to chat. I'm usually more fun than this I'm just feeling so low with AF showing yet again. It really hurts

 

[lillith112]

I'm 15 months in hun, same as you I think it will either take a long time for it to happen or it will never happen. I'm worried I'm getting too obsessed with it too as it seems to be taking over my life which really isn't healthy. My age is against me and the fact that my OH is away a lot.
I do love this forum though as it gives me great support to know that I am not alone with my feelings. I hope one day all of us long term ttc'ers get our much deserved bfp's. Hugs to you all.xx

 

[lillith112]

I meant to say I am 9dpo, did 2 tests today and BFN ��, I know this isn't my month again even though we followed smep by the book this cycle and the last, still no luck x

 

[broody2013]

In sorry Lillith I didn't realise you were TTC for that long. I am very obsessed with it, I cry every time I get AF now and when I don't ovulate and I never used to. I am thinking about it all the time and I worry my husband will divorce me even though I have no evidence to support this and he said he is happy spending his life with me if we can't have kids. I really struggle being around pregnant friends and colleagues now. I'm happy for them but I am getting increasingly jealous, it's not good but I can't seem to stop feeling like that

9DPO is way to early to test Hun! Are you temping? Xxx

 

[Lucyboo]

Don't give up hope ladies. It took us 23 months. Now ttc no2 but being bit more chilled about it. I'm currently on cd108 now and it's so frustrating x

 

[Emily0505]

I've been ttc baby number two for 18 months.

I've had 2 mmc in this time.

I'm currently on CD2 and praying that this cycle will be the one.

Big hugs fellow ttcers, this baby making business is tough.

XX

 

[lillith112]

In sorry Lillith I didn't realise you were TTC for that long. I am very obsessed with it, I cry every time I get AF now and when I don't ovulate and I never used to. I am thinking about it all the time and I worry my husband will divorce me even though I have no evidence to support this and he said he is happy spending his life with me if we can't have kids. I really struggle being around pregnant friends and colleagues now. I'm happy for them but I am getting increasingly jealous, it's not good but I can't seem to stop feeling like that

9DPO is way to early to test Hun! Are you temping? Xxx

Yes 15 months, I'm 43, I caught quickly with my other 3 kids but I was in my 30's back then. I feel jealous too, even coming on here upsets me sometimes when I read about all the bfp's. I have also talked to my OH and we both agree that if it never happens at least we will still have each other. I want this to happen so badly though, he is my soulmate and we want our last baby together. I'm sure your hubby has no intention of divorcing you hun. x

I forgot to add, I can't temp as I suffer with chronic insomnia x

 

[Sparklegirl]

Im a newbie TTCer but still always happy to chat or wait or be a cycle buddy or exchange stories. This is literally the only place in the world where I would even consider talking about my sex life let alone in such great detail!

 

[Syd43]

Broody I also find it very difficult to be around pregnant women, I hate myself for it but can't control it. The one advantage of being much older is that none of my friends are having children now. I don't think I'll ever get my bfp, I only have a few more months to try and my oh lives on a different continent so we don't see each other every month. I have literally no-one to talk to about this, I don't want any of my family or friends to know, they all believe I don't want children. Just can't stand the thought that I'll never be a mum because I didn't meet the right man early enough. It's been over a year of trying now.

 

[lillith112]

Broody I also find it very difficult to be around pregnant women, I hate myself for it but can't control it. The one advantage of being much older is that none of my friends are having children now. I don't think I'll ever get my bfp, I only have a few more months to try and my oh lives on a different continent so we don't see each other every month. I have literally no-one to talk to about this, I don't want any of my family or friends to know, they all believe I don't want children. My oh isn't at all bothered about having another one (he has one by a previous marriage, whom he adores). Just can't stand the thought that I'll never be a mum because I didn't meet the right man til I was 43. It's been just over a year of trying now.

Syd, I'm in a similar situation, not a different continent but my OH lives 5 hours away from me and is full time carer for his mum so we don't get to DTD every month either, it's such a difficult situation so I know exactly how you feel. Time is running out for me too x

 

[broody2013]

Oh wow thanks for all the replies!

Thanks Lucy, good luck with TTC number 2 xx

I really hope this is your cycle too Emily, roughly when will you start OPKs? xx

I really hope it happens for you Lilith, oh dear insomnia must be horrible xx

Sparkle, I really hope you aren't here long, thank you xx

Syd I'm sorry youre struggling too. I really hope you get your BFP Hun xx

 

[BecaM]

Hi lovely. Sorry to hear your struggle. I'm a newbie ttc our first. Have you spoken to your gp about fertility help or anything. I'm sure they will assess you for help after a year, at least I think it's a year xxx Either way, you are not alone. We might not all be on the same time scale but we're still here for you xxxxx

 

[Emily0505]

I start my opks around CD8-9.

I've had positive on CD10 before so I like to start them early so I don't miss it.

I've ordered some maca and royal jelly for this cycle too.

Taking too many supplements etc worries me in case I mess things up but I'm getting desperate now!

XX

 

[Sparklegirl]

I have a feeling I will be here a fair while but even if I'm not I will still keep coming here. Don't like to think of anyone struggling alone xx

 

[MrsS15]

Aw Ann huge hugs!

I go through this low lonely feeling every month. It's horrible! This journey is the most heartbreaking I've ever willingly put myself through. Apart from this forum I don't speak to anyone about our struggles. My best friend sometimes asks but she's never struggled so doesn't understand. The disappointment every month is soul destroying. And it definitely doesn't get any easier to accept each month. A big part of it for me is the complete lack of control. I'm just at the mercy of my body every month! I'm at the point too I struggle to be around pregnant woman, not because I'm not happy for them but because im sad for myself.

It'll be our turn ladies. We need to believe that! Lots of love to you all xx

 

[snowbee]

Broody you are not alone. We are in year 4 ttc our first. I feel that I am becoming a more bitter person with every cycle. The hardest I've found is when people who mcd at the same time as me have gone on to have another baby and I feel like I've been left behind. I hate how it is making me think but I just can't help myself. Ttc can be such a hard journey and ltttc is even worse.

We are now on cycle 5 of clomid treatment, I've got one more cycle after this and if that doesn't work it is game over for us and back to trying naturally (which clearly hasn't gone well for us so far!).

Only one of my friends knows about our issues and she doesn't understand at all as her children were first time and an accident. She tries to see things from my point of view but I can see her struggling with it. I sort of let on to my mum last week and that was a massive mistake. I knew it was risky knowing her views on mc (well it wasn't a baby anyway!) but still I shouldn't have bothered hoping for some support from there. It can be such a lonely place.

 

[Sparklegirl]

I sort of let on to my mum last week and that was a massive mistake. I knew it was risky knowing her views on mc (well it wasn't a baby anyway!) but still I shouldn't have bothered hoping for some support from there. It can be such a lonely place.

This is one of the saddest sentences I have ever read all of it really but specifically the part on bold. We know that is not the case, the forum is a good place to be able to talk honestly with people- strangers who become friends. Finding people who can relate or understand or just be there to listen is so important. Nobody on here is alone however terrible the situation x

 

[Syd43]

That's awful snowbee

 

[BecaM]

I sort of let on to my mum last week and that was a massive mistake. I knew it was risky knowing her views on mc (well it wasn't a baby anyway!) but still I shouldn't have bothered hoping for some support from there. It can be such a lonely place.

I don't know what to say, I can't imagine a mother reacting that way. Did she ever miscarry? Just wondering if that's the reasoning behind her reaction/view, trying to make it easier to deal. With herself?

All I can do is offer hugs and love Snowbee

 

[tinselcat]

I'm WTT but I totally understand your pain. It took 3.5 years to get to a BFP for me (with a MMC along the way), and I found it increasingly hard that all the people I'd cheered on in TTC basically stopped communicating not long after they hit the pregnancy section and now they probably don't even remember me at all!

Anyway I wish everyone here all the best xx