Feeling like crap *warning - self indulgent rant*

[Little_angel]

I'm just so fed up. I feel like crap all the time, mainly exhaustion with a little nausea thrown in. I'm used to running and feeling energetic and in control and this constant fog is really getting me down. We went to help a friend move house yesterday. I could barely do anything to help because I can't lift anything heavy, but I still felt awful last night because I didnt eat for too long and had to drive for an hour through heavy traffic on unfamiliar London roads.

I've only put a few pounds on but it looks like more with all the bloating and loss of muscle from no exercise. None of my clothes fit, I feel so unattractive. We're going away for a few days and I have no idea what to pack, I feel like I look awful in everything.

Today I am tearful and anxious, despite having listened to my relaxation CD. My date for my dating scan came through yesterday, it's not until I'm 13 + 3 which I'm really disappointed about. There are already people I'm lying to because I don't want to tell them until after the dating scan. The thought of having to keep it quiet for another month! I've caved and booked a private scan for next Saturday, I can't wait another month for reassurance, but its a good job as my husbands insane work travel schedule means he probably won't even be here for the May one. But I'll still only be 10 + 1 so I don't know how comfortable I'll be abut telling people. My husband wants to though, because he's tired of the deception.

I should be in Australia now, visiting my family. I haven't seen my brothers family for 2.5 years, and my parents are out there visiting and I havent seen them since before we started our IVF cycle. We just got fed up of running our lives around TTC and booked a trip, and obviously we were overjoyed when the IVF worked, but my FS recommended I shouldn't fly so we cancelled our trip.

To top it all off I feel guilty for feeling bad. This baby is so wanted and we've worked so hard, I feel like I should be happy and take it all in my stride. I'm worrying that the stress and crying is bad for the baby.

If you've read this far, you've got a longer attention span than I have at the moment! Sorry to moan, I have to say I feel better even for writing this down. Maybe I should have a journal where I can be as self indulgent as I like.

Or maybe some of the rest of you would like to rant with me on this thread?

 

[willowwisp]

I couldn't actually empathise with you any more. The only way I can function is on the medication they have given me, but it makes me artificially sleepy. I'm struggling to do basic every day things, the house looks like a bomb has hit it, I've done nothing for myself for weeks (bushy eyebrows, hairy legs, need a face pack etc) and we are struggling to keep things a secret. I've barely put on a pound either but i'm sick of feeling bloated and uncomfortable, none of my clothes fit either but it's too early to buy maternity clothes and bigger sizes to wear for a few weeks is an unjustifiable expense.

I also feel guilty as we have put so much into conceiving and this baby is so wanted and loved already, yet a part of just wants to feel like me and to not be pregnant.

Why can't the men carry the babies????

 

[Jayjay027]

Sorry ur feeling so low hun! I can tell u though, it does pass! And once baby is here it'll all be just a distant memory.

After next week, when u can start telling people, ull feel better.

Sorry I can't be of more help *hugs* x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[Lorlor]

Oh dear! (((hugs)))
Aye - I can relate to this! I spent all day in bed yesterday - sickness did not lift until 6pm! Feel fat, have crappy skin, sick, knackered, peeing, no apetite and unfocussed...oh and not to mention the hiccups which happen randomly all day and all night! LOL I'm also worried sick pretty much all the time - just need to see some proof! I have my 2nd midwife appt on Monday and will find out the date of my scan - eeek!
Will be worth it all in the end! Only a few more weeks, then you can come clean! They will fly in I'm sure! We're not telling the world either, untill I see that heartbeat!
Right, I'm gonna go for a mooch around the shops and maybe buy some....roomier clothes!
Chin up! The only time when feeling like crap is a good thing..

 

[Little_angel]

Thank you so much ladies, for not telling me to stop whining and making me feel like I'm not alone.

 

[PeaPod]

Please don't apologise for having a moan on here - that's what we're here for! I totally get where you are coming from and the feelings you are having are more than normal. The first Trimester seems particularly tough as its a big rollercoaster of physical symptoms,emotions and essentially lies (We have actually avoided calling family as we don't want to tell them until the scan but I can't not say anything so I have let people just think I've been a bit rude). Also I get your frustration about the scan date - although I have mine on Thursday I will be 13 +3 by then and I felt this extra week and a half waiting has been awful.

You will get there and when you can start telling people you will have the hugh weight lifted of your shoulders and hopefully feel a lot better. Big hugs!XXX

 

[jen9984]

You could be me! You are so not alone - I feel just the same! I used to be really fit and active before I got PG, now I can barely move out of bed or off the sofa without feeling dizzy and sick. I just about manage to have a few hours of activity each day (including work/housework/anything!) but other than that I have to sit or lie down and do nothing. I've got a sore back, constant nausea, and am throwing up breakfast every day. My clothes are starting to be really tight and I feel like a beached whale. All this, and I can't even tell anyone!!

Thanks for sharing - I find it really encouraging that others feel like this.

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry you are feeling like crap hun,

I am lucky enough to have my family close by, but I hear you with regards to the weight / clothes issue.

I just had to go out and buy some baggy stuff as I have put on weight and I already have a teeny bump... Don't get me wrong I cannot wait for my baby bump but I suspect my weight gain is because I have been a complete pig and is nothing to do with my little belly bean.

I would suggest for your holiday you pack stuff you feel comfortable with (black works well for me LOL and I jazz it up with scarves and accesories!)

Also the tiredness, wow - it kind of crept up on me but it's been debilitating at times. There are days when I cannot even hold a conversation with OH when I get home from work.

My other issue is pregnancy has excabated a tooth that has decay and needs to be removed - I am getting infection after infection. I think I have had 3 since my my BFP!! Yet I don't want treatment yet as baby is too little and delicate!

Like yourself this is a much wanted, much longed for baby and I'd go through this x a million to have our child...

I would 100% advocate the private scan, I had mine at 9w 5d and I was astounded as to how much they could see. I'd do it again in a heartbeat!!

Also the pictures were amazing!

Just in-case hubby isn't around have a friend that can accompany you to the 12 week scan? But you have plenty of notice for hubby to be there.....

The one thing I would suggest is that is you want to the nuchal fold checked you may need to request an earlier scan. The reason being is there is a cut off point and if you are put forward from 13w 3d you could miss this?

Best of luck sweetie

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Little_angel]

Thanks all of you xxx

CARNAT - I'm just going to go and pack. My problem is that I'm a tight clothing kind of girl. All my clothes are very figure hugging and the bottom halves just don't fit. I can just about get my tight stretchy jeans on, but I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy some bigger clothes. Luckily we are going to Bath, where if I can find some energy i can shop to my heart's content.

I'm going to ring and see if they can put forward my scan by a few days. If not, my husband will definitely not be able to come. He's been committed for my 13th week for some time now and flies to the US on the day of the scan. To make things worse he's also away for the 11th week and the 12th week has BH Monday. We literally have 3 days that we could change the booking to to make it work. Luckily my mum will be back by then, because I'm hoping she can come if my husband can't.

I'm not too worried about it being late from the testing POV. With this being an IVF baby I know exactly what date it was conceived and my EDD has been calculated from that. I don't think they can put me forward can they?

 

[CARNAT22]

My 2nd early scan put me forward 4 days and I know within a 24 hour window the date I ovulated so you never know hun!

It was just a thought!

I hope you are able to reschedule hun!

I lost 20lbs early last year and treated myself to loads of tight size 10 clothes, now I am having to go out and and buy myself stuff to diguise my little bump

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Little_angel]

Really? How does that work then? I don't understand. I thought if you were brought forward/put back it meant you had your dates slightly wrong (easy to do). I definitely want downs testing because of my age, so if they can't change my appointment I will call my midwife to ask about that.

Re the clothes, that's my problem too. I dropped a dress size last yesr and changed the way I dressed. I'm reluctant to go back to what I consider my old frumpy ways. I think I'll feel better when its a proper bump rather than just lookinhg like I did before I toned up. I feel like I lost 2 years of hard work in 9 weeks.

Thanks again ladies for indulging me. I managed to drag myself out of bed, selected a suitcase of clothes I can bear to be seen in and I'm on my way to Bath for a few days R&R.

I hope everyone who is feeling rubbish starts to feel better soon xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I am really not sure how it works?

I know someone on here who was using OPK's yet ended up being moved forward 6 days?

However as you say this is an IVF baby your dates should be OK. It will be interesting to hear if you do get moved at all

I plan to be a frump until a few months after bub is here and then to get back to a healthy regime (nothing dramatic though!!)

Have a fab trip, I love Bath!

xxxxxxx

 

[Little_angel]

Feeling better today. Our hotel is gorgeous, with a lovely bath house with a warm (but not hot) pool I can float in. We spent the day wandering the shops and I've bought some long tunic tops that I can wear with leggings.

I've also hardly felt nauseous today, which I think is down to eating well. Good food eaten regularly, especially the cream tea scone!

 

[Little_angel]

Really? How does that work then? I don't understand. I thought if you were brought forward/put back it meant you had your dates slightly wrong

I think I've worked this one out, by the way. Implantation can take place anything between 3 and 12 days after ovulation, so it will depend how quickly you implant as to how fast development progresses at this point.

I tried to ring the scan department to see if I could reschedule/bring it forward a little. I tried several times and it goes straight through to answerphone. I left a message at 11am and got no call back.

 

[CARNAT22]

I am glad you are having a lovely time!!

Tunic tops sound good, so far I have only found a few baggy tops so when you'll back home you'll have to let me where you got your tops from

My dates put me at implanting at 9dpo, so I guess I was just a little earlier - that makes perfect sense!

I am sure your scan people will get back to you, if not when you are home pester them LOL

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Little_angel]

CARNAT - I think maybe I should start a new thread with the tunic tops on, and perhaps other people will have some suggestions.

I feel so much better a couple of days later. I'm wearing one of my new long tops with leggings and feel so much more comfortable. I'm back to my normal rational self - the one that deals with problems as if they are not the end of the world!

Thinking about the scan, because of my dates, the private scan that I've booked for Saturday happens to be a dating scan. So if they think I should be put forward, that gives me ammo to insist that the Nuchal scanning is moved forward. If my dates are right, I don't need to worry about that issue. I'm also feeling more relaxed about the idea that my husband may not be able to come - at least he will see the baby on Saturday, and assuming everything is OK, I will worry less about the scan at 13w.

Even my MS has been so much better the last couple of days

Thanks again for your support ladies, it made me feel so much better xxxxx

 

[jjackson90]

I couldn't actually empathise with you any more.

 

[willowwisp]

Glad your feeling better x x x

I am feeling better now the room isn't spinning too! I actually managed a short trip in the car yesterday

And we had some early blue tit chicks in the front hedge (weather I think to blame), they are just fledging and I'm now able to sit on the sofa and watch the parents show the fledglings how to use our window feeder. It utterly melts my heart! It's wonderful to be able to focus and enjoy the little things isn't it!

Good luck with your private scan on Saturday, I've got mine tomorrow! Really excited x x x

Really interested in the tunic tops thread if you start one x

 

[Little_angel]

I've posted the tunic tops thread here xxx

 

[Little_angel]

Well I rang the scan department again and managed to get through, finally. The lady there was lovely and very apologetic, but says they have nothing earlier at all. She said that with my 12th week being the Bank Holiday week, they are having to push a lot of ladies into week 13. Some are apparently being booked for 13+5. I asked what happens if my dates are brought forward on the day and she said she was sure they could still do the NT scan, but she didn't sound at all sure.

I think if my dates are any issue at all at the private dating scan on Saturday, I will have to ring the midwife to ask the question.