Feeling like a spare part at work

[Karate Kid]

I have probably complained about my boss way too many times now but I am slowly reaching breaking point….

I work my socks off for three years (in this role), I overhaul procedures , streamline the budget and forecast process and generally go above and beyond my job spec to now being well and truly pushed out.

There are meetings going on with my stakeholders that I have no knowledge of, e-mails flying around which detail work that my boss wants me to do before I go away and I am just being spoken to as if I am a spare part who has all the time in the world to do AD-HOC tasks.

My ML cover is now in being trained by me, she is lovely but is under qualified and not really Excel proficient which just doesn’t work when you have to use Excel all day!! My boss is stressed out which consequently means I am constantly being stressed out by him.

To top it all off I have five days annual leave I would like to take to break up the last five weeks I have left at work and I have been told due to hand-over requirements I cannot take them! I am absolutely shattered, my hips hurt and I am clearly a bit too emotionally charged to have to be put through all of this!!

Sorry ladies but seeing as most people in my office think I am wasting my life away by having a baby I have no body to talk to at work so you are the only ones I can rant to!!

To top it off I found my first stretch mark this morning.... on my hip, it's not big but still I am hoping this is not the start of some major stretch marks.

Thank you for reading what is most probably an absolutely pointless thread xx

 

[vixxie77]

Aw hun that's awful! Maybe you could go to your gp and explain and see if they can sign you off for a week and then take it as annual leave. They all sound terrible at your work, they are the ones wasting their lives by not having children, not you!! At least you only have 5 weeks left I'm so annoyed at the way you're being treated, its hard enough being pregnant and going to work, without the extra stress and pressure x x

 

[Happyred]

Aw sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time.
Unfortunately I dont know what I can say to make you feel better, but you are not alone in feeling like a spare part.
There are so many parts of my job Im no longer allowed to carry out, so im stuck doing all the mundane tasks and paperwork and really just feel as though im wasting my time being there! As far as annual leaves are concerned, are they allowed to tell you that you cant have them? Im not convinced by that at all, maybe you should check with HR about what rights you have.
And wasting your life away by having a baby? What utter nonsense! I cant think of anything more amazing and rewarding than raising your own child and getting to share wonderful times as a family. Plenty mothers continue to have a good career after having children.
At least you only have 5 weeks left at work and another few weeks after that you will have your beautiful lo in your arms and not give a toss about work or your colleagues narrow minded opinions!
And dont wory about the stretch mark, it will fade after you have lo!
Hope you feel better soon. Xx

 

[coco_cukoo]

Sorry to hear this. My work were the same, they didn't tell me about anything & I did feel very alone & pushed out. It's not on at all. All my colleagues got a bonus for closing a department which i helped massively with but because i was off with MS for a few weeks, they didn't give me one. In the end I got so pissed off with them I got the docs to sign me off (was with spd) as I was in agony anyway but also cos I hate them. Might have put them in the sh*t but I didn't care cos they didn't care about me & there's nothing they can do if you have a docs note especially for pregnancy.

You should be allowed to take your annual leave!! Have you got an HR dept you can speak to about that?

Oh god, don't talk to me about stretch marks - I have zillions of purple lines on my belly. Count yourself lucky you have only found one & it's on your hip. I will never be able to wear a bikini ever again!! xxx

 

[Jayjay027]

Aw that's ridiculous!! You have leave to be taken, and ur entitled to take it. Does ur boss expect u to just lose out on ur A/L?! Would ur boss be happy to lose out on his? I don't think so!!

Maybe you should call a meeting with ur boss and explain how ur feeling. And tell him ur absolutely exhausted and if he's not going to allow u to take ur leave, ull have no choice but to ask to be signed off for a while.

I'm wondering if u can get some info from ur HR dept or online about ur rights while pregnant and give it to him. I did this in my old job when my boss was treating me badly, I contacted employment rights and they sent out loads of literature about my rights as a contract worker etc, I highlighted the most important parts and handed it to him sayin 'here's some bedtime reading for u!' And things really changed from then on lol.

Really hope u get sorted out with work hun, u could be doing without that stress xox

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[Spammy]

Wow that shocking!! I can't believe in this day and age people can be so down right awful to a colleague for choosing to have a child! Sorry your having a rough time hun. If it gets too much I would get to your gp and get signed off. Don't worry about dropping them in it - they clearly aren't bothered about your contributions! Let them struggle with training someone up who isn't qualified! Your baby is what is important right now, trust me - once you get out of there you wont look back! I know I didn't when I finished! Now I hear
The girls I work with moaning about it and think thank goodness I'm out of there!!

 

[FirstBabyEek]

So sorry to hear you're having a rough time at work. I know exactly how you feel, my boss is still ignoring me for choosing to have a baby. I found out yesterday that he's offered the lady I work with a payrise but not me, her response was "well you wont be here anyway" so I'm considering my options.

I think at the end of the day you have every right to take it to HR. Given the fact that your boss isnt taking your feelings into consideration by not allowing you to take you AL then you shouldn't take his project/operational needs into account either. Its not as if you've asked for the time so you can swan off, its acutally to allow you to be more effective at work when you are there - possibly something else that needs to be pointed out to him.

As for your ML cover being rubbish, surely thats a good thing? Make them realise how competent you really are and how much you actually did.

Failing that, I'm happy to come over and hormonally shout at him then I'm more than happy to do so, perhaps we can do a trade?
xxx

 

[babyelmo]

Oh hon i'm really sorry all this is happening, it's the last thing you need to be dealing with when you're almost due.

I can't really understand your boss's attitude; not letting you take your annual leave but also treating you like a spare part. If you have leave to take, you're entitled to take it. Are you able to speak to hr or a union about this as it sounds like discrimination.

To be honest, if it was me i'd go to my gp, explain the hip pain, stress etc and get signed off until mat leave starts. There is absolutely nothing your boss can do about that. And I'm with Firstbaby - she could shout at him, I'll sit on him, that will shut him up!

As for your stretchmark, try not to be too sad. I was mortified when I found my first one with my dd. After she was born though I looked at them almost fondly, they're like a reminder that that was once her home!

Sending you a big x

 

[Karate Kid]

Ladies as always you are absolute superstars! Thank you for all the responses, I think I am going to push a little more to be able to take my remaining annual leave. Technically I can tack it on to the end of my ML but I really could do with the odd day off here and there to break up my weeks.

I think my boss is just in a huff that I fell pregnant! Admittedly he did initially take a bit of a gamble by employing me as I was not a qualified accountant at the time but I am now and I always go above and beyond the call of duty so his 'gamble' has paid off.

As far as 'waisting my life' goes clearly they are the dillusional ones.

I really feel for all of you that are going through undue stress at work, I feel that managers have a duty of care towards their employees and whilst pregnancy is not an illness it does slow you down. I think some people just cannot distinguish the difference between 'slowing down' and being incapable.

As for people around us in the workplace getting promotions and/or pay rises this is clearly discrimination… the only thing is with the help of HR managers can dress things up to make it look fair… I found out how much my ML cover is getting about half an hour ago and nearly hit the roof… needless to say the Lady is less qualified and less able than me yet is getting slightly more!!

Work clearly do not care so if I get more exhausted and work gets too stressful I will be speaking to my MW about getting signed off.

Firstbaby and Babyelmo… glad to know I have my PF girls as back-up

Stretch marks suck BUT my LO is already more than worth itso I am sure I will get over the initial shock!!

xx

 

[KarenC]

Big hugs, hun. I don't know what it must be like to have to deal with all of that. Your boss sounds completely unreasonable. It must be very very frustrating to work so hard and feel so undervalued. Hope you manage to get some time off in the next few weeks - you must be exhausted.
lots of love xxx

 

[Emily0505]

I finish work on the 26th of this month and I cannot bloody wait.

I totally feel like a spare part- was told today that someone "obviously not you Emily" needed to do a post op check on a dog before it left recovery to go back to it's kennel! Now, I know I'm pregnant but... MY EYES STILL BLOODY WORK!!! I think looking at a dog to see if it's awake, can stand and isn't bleeding everywhere is still within my capabilities!!

I fully accept that there are some thing I can't do anymore, but seriously, some days I think what was the point in me being in work today as I have spent the day doing basically sod all as now that I am pregnant my skills are limited to sitting on my arse and answering the phone!

To be fair I guess I should make the most of it!

Hope you get your leave sorted hun. I've had a query from my boss about whether I am entitled to my two lieu days for the jubilee bank holidays- never been an issue before. Maybe it's cuz they think we'll have enough time off with maternity so try and avoid giving other time off whenever they can!

XX