feeling like a failure as a mummy

[Lilmisshopeful]

God blessed me with a second child after so many years trying and I just felt like I was finally given a chance and I'm failing big time. I'm supposed to protect him and I can't even do that. A few weeks ago his little chair tipped and he fell and bashed his head. The hospital managed to make me feel awful checking him for bruises and asking if he had a social worker and things I know it has to be done but made me feel awful. I've been extra careful with him he is my baby and I'm so scared.
Today we was going to the bathroom doe a shower and he was right beside me and he turned and looked behind him and lost his balance and before I could grab him he fell I just missed him by a cm. I screamed as he fell nothing I could do to stop him just ran after him. He hit every step on the way down it was horrific the way he fell and I was so sure he was going to be broken by the time he stopped at the bottom. We have a stair lift and he hit the metal runner and my sister called an ambulance. I was scared to touch him thinking I'd do more damage and he looked at me like help me mummy and tried getting up so I scooped him up. I'm not sure who's screaming was worse his or mine. After a day in hospital he has not a broken bone he must be made of rubber I swear. He has a sore arm doc says bruising will come out 5 bumps on his head 1 to his shoulder 2 on his legs and you would think nothing has happened he was running round the hospital like a loony. They said he is fine and accidents happen ect but I just feel like I'm failing him I was given a chance to be his mummy and I'm messing it up I can't even keep him safe even when he is right within reach. We have been ttc but now I don't want to. I've never felt so useless in my life I just couldn't catch him I can't get the vision or screams out my head he is so tiny and depends on me to take care of him and I'm not

 

[heatheror12]

Awww dont beat yourself up hun. These things happen. We had been up 10 mins this morning and my 20month old had fallen off his chair. He didn't hurt himself but accidents happen. I used to get upset everytime my son bang his head or fell. And like my mum always says ull deal with worse than that over the years lol. And i remember when my friends little lad fell offthe bed and health visitor turned up. It's just their duty of care to check so dobt worry about that! I'm sure ur a fantastic mum xx

 

[Sparklisam]

Any head injury has to be reported as such it's just procedure not because your a bad parent atall. My little boy was bouncing on the bed with me next to him when he was only 8 months and he fell of flipping over. I thought he broke his neck and had the biggest egg on his head. I even had to fill a form at nursery coz he went in the next day with this massive bruise.

Your doing an amazing job because you care so much about what's happened. It sounds to me you just need to build a bit of confidence in yourself. You love the bones of your LO and that's the main thing. Stop doubting yourself xxxx

 

[tinselcat]

a failure of a mummy wouldn't care if her child fell down the stairs

you, on the other hand, clearly love your little one to the moon and back!

my health visitor said to me "they have a forehead and a bum for a reason" - i.e. they are gonna get bumps and bruises and there is nothing we can do about it except let them learn. My instinct is to wrap baby in cotton wool but that would be harmful long term

you're doing a great job, it must have been very upsetting for your little boy to fall down the stairs but like you said, he's made of rubber and has bounced right back

keep being wonderful xx

 

[Eryinera]

Ive had similar feeling when my boy was growing up (and boys I'm certain are more prone than girls!) I was so convinced they would be better taking him off me but it gets better. If you don't have the flash'a reflexes there will be bumps and some bad. (Sometimes even the flash couldn't prevent accidents)
My son was in and out of a&e so much before he started school I thought we lived there! He once bumped his head so hard his nose bled. And most terrifing for me was when he was one he was playing in his room and I needed a wee. I locked the stair Gate and went to the bathroom leaving g the door open. In that time he went out of his room into mine found my handbag took out my work bumbag opened a zip found my codine and was popping and eating them like candy by the time I had finished!
And don't get me started on his friends at school one of them I'm not sure has gone a full week without some sort of head injury lol he was round at ours a few times and it's become routine now when I answer the door to his mum I start of by saying "hiya sue just so you know max has done x y and z today!"

 

[Nutsyputs]

With recently had a run of our son hurting him self. For the past month his face has pretty much been covered in curs and bruises. I felt so awful but unfortunately these things happen. You shouldn't feel like your failing him. You've cared for him and got him medically help when needed. Not that this gave me much comfort but when I mentioned how bad I felt to people everyone would say boys will be boys and he'll do worse!

 

[Kay Kay]

Oh I feel for you, I've felt the same a few times, once when my lo rolled off his changing table when he was about 9 months. Totally horrific as I was standing right next to him however he was fine, took him to hospital and by that time he was smiling and waving at the other people in the waiting area. I felt so guilty though!

The other time was more recent just a few months ago he ran away from me in a busy shopping centre and I completely lost him for a few minutes (felt like hours). Both times knocked my confidence big time and I was feeling like you are feeling now. Just awful and totally beating myself up.

Other mums have made me feel better with their stories, at the end of the day things will happen and it doesn't mean you're a bad mum at all!! Go easy on yourself, you love your boy but they are little individuals that do things of their own accord and it's not possible to have your eyes on them 100% of the time. My wee one runs about so fast now you just need to blink and he's off!

 

[Eryinera]

My friends little girl has zero road sense at all and twice when her mum has had to grab her to stop her running under a car she has dislocated her daughters arm. And I bet if your son was at all shaken by the experience then he will be more carful near the stairs in future!