Feeling down.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by B81292, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. B81292

    B81292 Well-Known Member

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    I'm 7 weeks and my daughter is 7 months old.
    I feel so guilty that I'm robbing her of time with me and ruining her childhood by giving her a sibling so early . Please say this feeling will pass :(
    What's worse is my best friend recently miscarried her baby at 12 weeks and I can't bringing myself to tell her my news. She's been trying for well over a year for a baby and I feel terrible
     
    #1 B81292, Jun 28, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2016
  2. walkergirl

    walkergirl Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I totally understand where you are coming from, I just gave birth to my second baby on Friday and my first is only 19 months old. the feeling will pass, but maybe not until you have given birth. i don't know if it was the hormones but i spent nearly the whole pregnancy bursting into tears , feeling so guilty, and saying to myself , what have i done , how could i be so selfish. hes going to miss out on so much because im not going to have the time for him etc etc..... even when i went in to hospital to be induced i was still having moments where i was sitting crying to myself. but everyone kept reassuring me i was giving my little boy the best present , a sibling and a playmate. my little boy has done nothing but kiss my newborn since we brought him home. he gets a bit over enthusiastic at times and is a little bit rough but im sure he will get better :)
    Enjoy your pregnancy and don't feel bad xx
     
  3. Princess61

    Princess61 Well-Known Member

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    Ah just wanted to send you a big hug ❤ And to say how lovely it will be for your little girl to have a brother or sister so close in age for her to play with/be friends with and to love. I know it must feel hard but it will be absolutely amazing for them to have each other, they will be so close. Lots of love xxx
     
  4. Amy0801

    Amy0801 Well-Known Member

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    Hiya..big hugs to you. I think it completely normal to feel this way..my daughter will be 7 years old when baby arrives and I still feel the same. My daughter has autism so it will be difficult for her to adapt to the loss of so much of my time and attention but at the same time everyone keeps telling me it will be really good for her but I get myself so worked up with worrying about coping. I think it's lovely your children will be close in age and will grow up together. My daughter doesn't realise there will be a 7 year age gap and keeps asking if baby can sleep in her room..how can I explain that when she is 14 and has her friends round she won't want a 7 year old in her room..lol! Try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy..I know it all seem daunting at the moment but once baby arrives you will look back and think why did I feel like that :) xx
     
  5. SiameseCatLady

    SiameseCatLady Well-Known Member

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    Think about it... The closer in age they are, the more chance of them having more things to do together!
    My dad and his brother were about as close as it's possible to be pregnancy wise and they were like two peas in a pod throughout. When my uncle died, my dad was inconsolable.
    Try not to put yourself through the guilt. You have a lot of love to give and now it will be equally spread between two babies. You haven't done anything wrong. Your babies will both be fine.
    I can understand how you would feel, but of all the things that people 'put their babies through,' this is nothing. The fact that you feel guilty shows how much you love your son.
    As for your friend, be honest and tell her the truth. Go and see her and explain why you're telling her and how awful you feel for her horrible loss. I think she'll appreciate it - I did after a similar thing happened to me.
    Good luck.... I don't mean not to acknowledge how you feel, above, btw. I just think you have done nothing wrong and are showing how much love you have for your child by worrying about your actions will affect him. If you weren't worrying about how your choices affect him, that's when things would be worrying! Xxx
     
  6. KateK

    KateK Well-Known Member

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    I have 3 siblings, one 4 years older, one a year younger and one 9 years younger.. My bond is definitely strongest with my brother who is a year younger than me. We grew up with the same friends and have always just gelled better than I did with my sisters (of course I love them dearly!) I understand the guilt you're feeling now but don't worry it will be fine! I also have the same problem with having a good friend who's just lost a baby and has been trying for ages.. I feel so anxious about telling her.. I can't offer much advice there but I intend on waiting until i'm sure everything's ok with my baby. Good luck with everything - try and do something for yourself today to make you feel a bit better! xx
     
  7. B81292

    B81292 Well-Known Member

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    Sending you all a huge hug, thank you for your kind words and for helping my troubled mind!! xxx
     

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