Feeling a bit down :(

[kanga86]

I am feeling a bit sorry for myself at the mo. I had to go to work earlier just to sort out my hours for when I return off sick next week as I was down to do 6 early shifts in a row and didn't think I could handle it after 3 weeks off from work.

So I was sat chatting to my boss, who knows unofficially about my pregnancy, and he asked me if the mc was easier to cope with since I'm pregnant again? The question really took me back, not sure why, but I suppose I am so happy to be pregnant again and that everything is going well this time, but I can't help but feel guilty about being excited about a new baby when I should still be pregnant with my 1st.

I should be about 33 weeks pregnant now and looking forward to having my baby soon and join in with all the chats in tri 3 with all my original tri 1 buddies. I still go and check on u all but its is so hard, and really gets me thinking of what could have been!!

Anyway not really sure about the reason behind this post but felt as though I needed to get it out, no need to reply really xxx

 

[NinjaKitty]

Really not surprised you feel that way you went through a really tough experience. You'll never forget your first bean. I always keep an eye out for you because we were bump buddies for a while. So happy you have another bean on the way now. It doesn't replace your other bean but is a bro or sis to it iykwim. Prob not explaining myself too well

 

[kanga86]

That makes loads of sense ninja thank you, never really thought of Roo as being a brother or sister to my 1st bean. I really like that

Feeling much better and happier this morning about everything, obviously hormones got the better of me yesterday. xxx

 

[leannesxb]

When I fell pregnant again I went and brought a nice plant and a pot and decorated it with my OH to remember our bean and to put it to rest a bit. Never forgotten but I forgave myself for losing it and feeling like it was my fault all the time. Every time I go past it I smile now and have even told my son who we hid everything from all about the little bean and he now helps water the plant etc. xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Jaxx01]

My sister asked me the exact same question. I had a MC on 1st March and fell pregnant straight away, I didnt even have AF. My head was all over the place, mourning for the child I lost, happiness for the new baby and guilt for feeling al those things

I dont believe one baby can replace another but I looked at this one as a gift to help the suffering.

Hope you're feeling better today hun xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Sometimes people are just ignorant Kanga and the fact is unless you go through it yourself then you do not truly understand. I don't think it was meant in malice though - it's just pure ignorance.

It's like asking someone if the death of a child was easier becasue they have other kids

I think you jsut have to focus on what you have now sweetie and just accept that some people may say insensitive things to you but they genuinely mean no harm.

xxxxxx

 

[Nurse 26]

totally normal to feel like this hun, i still do sometimes, then i feel guilty as i should be greatful for what i have now, dont be too hard on yourself it tough xx

 

[sammi7]

it is really normal to feel like that, i really struggle sometimes too as with my first pregnancy i should have been due 14th dec. ive tried speaking to family about it but all they seem to say to me is it obviously wasnt meant to be and you should be happy youve got another one on the way. of course i am happy about being pregnant again but it doest change how you feel about the babies you lost. I hope everything goes well this time round for you xx

 

[Lilelephant]

People have asked me this too. I don't think this pregnancy has made me feel better about the mcs , I still feel sad when I think I would have a baby by now but then I wouldn't be having Orlando! I wonder About the lost ones all the time x