Feel very lonely and isolated. Also have a dilemma.

[flaxen]

I feel so lonely and isolated.
Ive had 2 weeks holiday and officially start my maternity leave tomorrow, its early I know but living where I do I cant rely on the weather staying ok, we had 2 ft of snow in the 2nd week of november last year and it stayed til the end of january and was down to -15 most days and because of where I work I physically wouldnt be able to get there in the snow as the roads tend to be shut.

Ive spent pretty much 2 weeks in the house with a maximum of 2 hrs company a day, prisoners get more socialisation than I do.

My fiance doesnt understand, because he is happy to stay inside all the time he is on holiday he thinks I should be, even though Im an active person and prefer being outside, he has even swapped the cars parking places round so that mine is right in front of the house, which means that when we get snow I wont be able to get out at all as there is a slope and my car wont get up it in the snow, he says Im safe in the house, all I seem to do is his cooking, cleaning, washing up and tidying! His contribution to washing up is you dump it in the sink, fill with hot water and leave it there til it goes cold!

When its his days off instead of going out, he prefers to sit in the living room all day in the dark watching dvd's, I cant do that they bore me to tears!!

Some of you know that I lost my riding horse a few weeks ago and apart from the day she was put to sleep he hasnt once asked if I ok and only got sympathy off him that day because his dad woke him up to tell him I was upset, I think hes forgotten she ever existed, except you can see where her grave is every time you come up the drive. He isnt a pet person, and once an animal doesnt earn its keep anymore then they go, my horses are majorly important to me and not only keep me sane and give me chill out time ( those that have horses and ride know that there is nothing better than going for a ride to switch off, chill and blow cobwebs away) but they are also my friends, they dont judge me like most people do and they care.

My dilemma is my only friend up here found a horse advertised in the paper that sounds perfect for me in every way and would enable me to go out and have fun again. She is horsey herself and is going to be babys godmother. I wasnt looking for another horse as thought it would be easier to wait til baby is born but he seems too good to turn down, and at the moment horses arent really worth much so he is a real bargain and will probably be able to knock him down more, he should be advertised at 3x what he is. My dad says Id be stupid not to go and see him as if he his perfect Id regret it and would struggle to find anything like him again ( I also think that my dad would buy him for me).

I know my fiance will be like youve got 2 why do you have to have a 3rd, 1 is unbroken and half wild but worth his weight in gold as a companion, the 2nd is a yearling who cant do anything for another 3 yrs.

I need a horse I can ride, I will seriously go insane if I have to stay in the house and look after a baby 24/7 and I dont want to resent baby because it wont be her fault.
I need my time on my own away from her to have a break, her dad will be no help as he works nights and sleeps during the day but my mum and future father in law are happy to look after her for an hour or so so I can go for a ride and when she is a bit older in the spring/ summer and I want to go competing my friend/ godmother has said she will look after her at the event so I can ride as I also keep her daughter in check as she will be competing to.

Ive been to see him in the stable and he is a lovely person and have arranged to go back on thursday with my friend and her daughter so he can be put through his paces, I really like him.

Yes I know its another one to look after but one more wont really make much difference and he is much easier to look after than my mare ever was, she had serious issues that made her very hard work and unpredictable when stabled.

I really dont know what to do, other than my friend I dont have any one to talk to who will understand about everything and am finding it really hard to cope and am depressed.

 

[NinjaKitty]

I'm probaby a bit biased because I've worked with horses from being a kid (though not for many years now). I know how rewarding horses are.

You are obviously all set up, equiped and experienced to keep horses. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you give up everything and you seem well supported. And as you say mucking out three instead of two isn't really a big difference. I don't see why you shouldn't at least take a look at this horse. It's gonna be a longtime before the other two are old enough or in any condition to work with.

I'm also betting that a shetland arrives when bubs is old enough to teach

And you are right, there's some quality horses for sale out there at knock down prices. If I was set up I would.

 

[flaxen]

Thnaks NinjaKitty.
I forgot to add that that the companion will never be able to be ridden, his wild instinct and trust issues are too bad, he wont be broken and somedays having his tail put through his fillet string or his leg sraps on his rug done up freak him out and he sits on the floor in fright, also the horses live at home so are easy to get to and baby will be out with me from day one all wrapped up so I can do them.

 

[BabyBrain]

A friend of mine in Oregon is a native american, Blackfeet Nation, she is a natural healer for horses and she has been looking for a Gypsy Vanner to breed, I told her how cheap they are over here compared to the states and suggested she have one shipped but she is adamant that's not the way.
She said that horses and humans need to connect, if there's no connection then there's just no point. If this horse is right for you and you are right for him then I would say go for it. Sounds like you need that connection hunny xxxxxxxxx

 

[Hunnie]

I'd go for it with the horse and buy it if it's a bargain! I don't think it will make an bit of difference once baby is here as you have already managed keeping them through being pregnant! The only reason I've really kept one of mine in this winter is to give me something to do and keep my sanity! (I'll fully admit to having a cheeky ride the other day because I've missed it so much and it's only been 4 weeks since I stopped!!)

 

[suzzi]

ive just sold my mare as she was very hard work and id woulndt have coped with her if it snowed here like it did last year, im not near to my horses and my cob would and does cope fine living out all year but my TB mare loses weight really easily and needs feeding twice a day and must have access to hay 24/7 and she still loses weight x

it was a hard desicion to sell her but i could of ended up with a c section and just wouldnt have been fair on her. she has someone on hand 24/7 now to look after her x

i think you need to do whats best for you if you have the help and can cope then go for it, id be lost without my gypsy cob, and the stress releif you get from them is unreal x x

 

[Sassysugar]

I have a tb mare and finding it hard at the mo, she's in now at night so I'm up with her twice a day and with the fact I'm breastfeeding, the times I get up to her can vary. I have got on her once since giving birth but I was uncomfortable so only walked. I miss riding her so much, but I'm defo going to struggle with it this winter

If you think you can cope with another, then yes, go for it, but it's not easy with a newborn. Plus I don't have anyone that can watch Colby as OH works through the day, so he ends up in the sling or maxi cosi while I muck out.

Unfortunately I'm thinking of getting rid of her but you can barely give horses away at the mo and would want her to go to a loving home.

Keep us posted on what you decide

 

[Cazza]

I don't have a horse ATM but will be having one on the next few years after moving to a house with stables and paddocks to allow us to have horses..............then becoming pregnant in the meantime!!

I do however have 9 dogs and they are my sanity - so I do understand your dilema.

Whilst we both walk/feed/train/care for the dogs I can see this becoming my 'time out' from Bubs whilst on Maternity leave. Therefore I'm planning a short break in my training classes for a couple of months then restarting the classes.

Luckily my OH is absolutely fine with this !


Go see the horse, if it's meant to be then you'll know and realisitically good genuine horses don't come along often.

 

[redbear]

I know my advise is a bit different i personally have no intrest in horses i got bought one as a child to share with my sister (she was very into horses) and because i wasn't interested i let her have it and got a lizard instead.
But its mainly about pets in general.. if you feel like you can cope with looking after three with a newborn then obviously do what you want however
if it was me i would wait until after i had Lo to see how things went with looking after the two and then get a third, if i found that i could cope, Having people to watch LO in theory may sound perfect but then again you may find that its a lot harder than you thought, people may let you down etc, And its a lot easier to decide not to get a third than buy one find its too much and then have to rehome him,
i know the horse is a bargin etc but another horse will come along, it could be a better cheaper horse you never know. Could you Part Loan a ridable horse for a few months that you wouldn't have to look after as much but could take out for a ride whenever you want? xx