falling apart...

[titch]

Urgh, this is me just whinging, this motherhood is not going how I had anticipated.

im on blood pressure medicine which makes me feel tired, I have a colicky projectile vomiting baby, and therefore continuous mountains of laundry, my boy cant breastfeed properly so Im constantly sterilising stuff, now my c-section scar has got infected so Im in pain again, and on antibiotics and I just feel bleugh. Ive gone back to not being able to lift anything cos of the scar pain and no matter how much I shower I smell cos my scar is just festering oh and Ive developed some kind of allergic rash on both my boobs which is crazy itchy

I have no energy to actually interact with the baby in the brief moments when he is awake and not screaming. Im starting to feel impatient when I hear him cry, then I just feel massively guilty about it cos its not his fault.

 

[AugustMum]

Oh tiny...

I cant really offer words of advice, just say that things WILL get better. My scar didnt get infected properly but it did swell and get sore and that made me feel like crap and Id just burst into tears because I felt so low, so having to be on antibiotics and have a scar that sore must be awful, but in a week or so it should be healing nicely again for you.

Dont feel guilty about getting impatient though, I do that too. Its horrible watching your baby scream, and when theyre flailing around with colic (and headbutting you when their over your shoulder!) it can get tiresome. Just remember to try and take a bit of time out with a bath or something occasionally. The bathroom has been my saviour!

 

[inky]

Melio's right Tiny, things will get better - that's what keeping me going at the moment as well! Although I can't empathise about the scar, I'm also on blood pressure meds that really take it out of me, and am dealing with a sicky colicky baby, just hearing him cry all the time breaks my heart because I know it's because he's in pain. My health visitor came round yesterday and thankfully was really lovely, she reassured me that this is all temporary and before we know it he will be smiling, laughing, keeping his food down and generally being a lot more enjoyable! It must be doubly hard for you with your scar, but that will get better too

Re allergic reaction - are you using breast pads? Only I've noticed that if they have plastic backing, my boobs get all wet and sweaty and horrible and that makes them itch. I've lumped for just putting down folded tissue and changing it every hour or so - it's a pain but I'm not itchy any more

 

[ERIN84]

Oh Tiny, I really feel for you. Its so hard becoming a new mummy at the best of times without what you have on your plate! As the other girls have said, it will get better but I would imagine us saying that is not much use to you at the minute. Dont feel guilty about when morgan cries, your body has been through a hell of alot and your emotions must be all over the place. if you keep feeling this way, do talk to your HV or MW though hun, just to get it of your chest xxxx

 

[titch]

thanks girls

I had a sleep and 2 hours 'off' this afternoon which has done me the world of good. Im just properly feeling sorry for myself at the mo! so glad its the weekend and daddy is so hands on with the LO when hes home gonna make my mum move in tuesday to friday i reckon!!

 

[isobel84]

oh tiny! alot of ppl have said to me when i been worried about being frustrated with the baby that most of the times you just need to get away for 15 minutes and then you are fit for fight again.

1 girl said she put her son in the pram, furthest away in the garden closed the door and sat there drinking a coffee watchin the pram, but she couldnt hear him. thats what she needed to be able to cope before dealing with it again. I think being a mum must be the hardest job in the world. but thats what make you the superwoman you are. you can do it.

Im having my mum coming over from sweden as soon as Noa is here, cuz i know i will not be able to coop on my own, its too scary.