Fallen out of love

I wrote him a very long email explaining everything...and again i got nothing back (i didn't expect to) he keep sayin he is trying to change,but he i think he needs to do that on his own.He is still in love with me but i only love him as a friend,as i have fallen out of love with him.I will aways blame myself,but now i have to live for my LO.Thank you fr al the replies and keeping me positive :) I feel a little bit better as i don't have long left and i can't wait for her to be in my arms.He can not take just being friends.

He wants to mary me,but i could never marry him.and is askingf i have someone else.Its hard and im trying to get through this and stay postive,who new life could be so hard.
 
you are doing brilliantly keep it up hun, you are doing the right thing xxx
 
Lord no, don't marry him! People don't really change. You'll have your lovely LO and you can do this without him - sounds like you already are doing everything without him anyway! Good luck honey xxx
 
Here is the update

He fell of his bike last friday at around 3pm....

I was calling him for hours to see where he wanted to come and have chinese at my moms and just to check if he and the cats were alright.

finally at 7pmish he answers 'would love to but i have been in a accident' i panic..i phone and text till finally he calls and says he has already been to the hospital!!!

The woman who he talked about our relationship and how i moan and stuff picked him up and was dropping him home!!! I was very angry and very upset.

When he got home he phoned the ambulence and went back into hospital,because is leg was killing him.So skip forward.

He needs to go to the hospital again and the next night,The same woman collects him from the hospital (again) because she lives near by

They get chips and come back to the house as they have not eaten...HERE IS WERE IT GETS INTERESTING

He comes through the door and then she comes in..i say hello and how are you...and i thank her for collecting him and bringing him home (as i can't drive)
she doesn't look me in the face at all and walks past me! I walk in and ask her if she would like me to dish out the chips...she looks at him and asks him if he wants her to do it! Completely blanking me...so i dish it out,we eat and she leaves.I don't say goodbye as im angry and what is the point right!!!

Next day i bring it up.. he say he never saw any of that!
I mean the hole time it was him and her having a convo! He talks to me but she just sits and thinks im not there...he tells me is because of the way 'I' was off with her! I was never off with her..the women could not look me in the face! because of what he had told her about me,he told her i was forever moaning and that i was not having the baby for the right reasons,how he wished he never went through with the pregnancy n blah...Now how could i ever see myself with someone who paints me in a horrible way :(

a relationship is between two people and two people only!

He says he had no one to talk to and he was stressed...

Then he tells me,She and her partner have a 10 year old (she was 23 now 33) they have been trying for another baby for year and they cannot get pregnant.So my mom tells me its jelousy...but i can't help if m pregnant can i! He tells me she even joked about where she could get sperm of the internet :/

He asks her is she has a problem with me,,she ignores him ( I dont believe it at all)
I think he is hiding what she has really said about me :(

Now i was starting to fall in love with him again,we got really close after his accident last week.I was willing to leave the past i the past,but after him saying it because of how i was acting with her,made me realise he would never take my side.I don't trust him or understand him at all.The old man locks his phone/computer.Because i read what he had told her in the email,he made me a separate account on his laptop for me.There is no trust at all.

I thought it would be okay.Now im 36 weeks pregnant lookng after him and his three cats.Im so tired i have to cook,clean everything.He is having his windows done, and carry the shopping we ordered off the internet :(

My back hurts,my legs are going to give way,my hands ache :( i sit and cry because i can't do it,but i have to :( im the only one that can.Im so lonley it hurts :( will i ever find happiness in life.I feel even though im only 21,my life will only get worse :( I have never really known love and i can honestly say i don't think i ever will.I don't even have friends to talk to.i haven't left the house in 10 days now,i just sit and watch tv with him,cook,clean wash up..that is ow my life,im really hoping when he takes his cats of Tuesday he can drive and try and get about more as i want to go home :( i need to not be surrounded by furr and dirt and flys.I just want my own bed and no to be walked over by cats all the time.

I think i will ask for ant-depressents the next time i visit my midwife i will ask about it.Can you take them while your pregnant? I need something to keep me stable as i don't think can do this anymore :(
.
 
I'm not sure whether you can have anti-depressants when you are pregnant but talking to your midwife about whats going on is a really good idea! In all honesty, if this was me, i'd have left by now but i can understand why you haven't. I hope you get it all sorted, let us know how you get on xx
 
Jesus I thought my fiance was bad. Hon I wish there was more I could say that was reassuring, but in total honesty you're better off without. I'm not sure if you can have antidepressants but she might be able to suggest a good counsellor for you to talk to.
Sorry I can't be of more help hon but I'm gonna message you my email address. It's not MSN but feel free to drop me an email anytime. x
 
Get yourself away asap. This is not good for you. You dont need the anti-depressants you need this person out of your life. You have your whole life ahead of you and a joyous baby on the way this man is draining you GET OUT. OK lecture over :) there is an antidepressant called lofepramine which can be taken in pregnancy.

Life is not over hun go no, youve got lots ahead of you honestly I promise its all going to be fine but you have to get out xxx
 
^^^ What Geminiblue said.

You don't need antidepressants sweetheart, you need a supportive caring partner.
He keeps saying that you're having the baby for the wrong reasons, he's spilling his guts to a woman who he brings to the house and treats you like you're invisible, I'm not surprised you're depressed, but pills won't solve your problems. You need to tackle them head on.

You deserve better than this.
You deserve better than him.
 
Im going to my see my midwife tomorrow,so i will ask her and i will ask for some advice.
 
I'm going through the same right now so just wanted to stop by and send you a (big hug) xx
 

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