Going out????

[melanieyeah]

My fiancee loves to go out on ''lads nights out'' but just once I would love to come with him. I ask that he'd be back at 2, and he'd roll in at 5.30 when its light outside, me in a sea of tears from worry (i lost my friend in a car accident after a night out drinking last week) so I am on edge about this sort of thing.I know hes not cheating on me, i know everyone in my town so I would find out fast.plus his reasen for being late matches what his mate says. Its not the first time he's done it, so I said that i didnt want him going out without me for a while. He says he has a work doo coming up so he has to go, which i dont mind so much but his party attitude had better change when we are expecting, i dont want to be left in the house alone while hes out partying. Am i wrong for feeling that he should be with me, i mean- hes not exactly 20 anymore like all his friends are, which is why hes compelled to go out. I dont want to nag him, but I need to know he will be there through thick and thin, when i might need him in an emergency instead of out''clubbing''. so am I wrong.. or does he need to cool it down?

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Has he never heard of a telephone? If he goes out make sure he calls you if he is going to be late! After what aas happened with your friend, it is understandable why you are soo worried, You obviously don't mind that he goes out, it's just it is his responsability too! can he do stuff with you? and go out a little less! Poor Melanie left at home! Just ask him to be abit more consideraate and explain what would happen if you had a problem when he was out!!! May drum some sence! I said may!!

 

[melanieyeah]

thanks for your reply! I don't like him going out at all without me, but at the same time his friends say he is ''under the thumb'' and it makes me seem obsessive if I say I dont want him to go out. He takes his mobile with him, but when i rang him last time at around 5am it was switched off, I even rang the hospital to put my mind at ease. I rang his friend who said he wasnt with him, but infact he was lying right next to him, hammered out of his face asleep. His friend didnt want to get matt(my guy) into trouble so he denyed seeing him..which fuelled my worry into some mad sobbing frenzy, to which i rang my not very pleased mother. Then he came home hammered, telling me he was at his mates who i had just rang, and i rang his mate yelling at why he had lied, and he just said sorry,i didnt want to get him in trouble. So now I am not talking to matts friend, i was sobbing to him and he couldnt even give me sympathetic truth. matt gets silly with drink... i hate it I am younger (19) but feel so much more mature than he is, I am ready for growing up, starting a family etc. He mentions babies often, but then he does this.. i say he cant have his cake and eat it.
thanks for your help, anymore advice would be appriciated..what would you do
???? muchos loveos

 

If he wants to be a daddy he needs to respect your feelings too and put eachother first above 'the lads'. Just my opinion and I know it might be a strong one- but if my OH did that I woud be f-ing furious with him and would doubt his ability to change his ways when he became a father.

 

[melanieyeah]

you are so right! I will talk to him about this, at least I know Its not just me making stuff up in my head. I should matter more to him at this point in time, especially for whats going on with our plans, i need to be put first right now. thanks so much you guys! I will update on what he says. xxxxxxx

 

Good luck babe x

 

[melanieyeah]

well we have had ''the talk'' and have come to a comprimise, when i am pregnant he can only come out when i want to go out, until then he said no more then once every 2 months, and he will be back before 2am, if not on the dot then he will die a painful death. it sounds harsh but i feel its the only way, i dont want him to feel trapped but I need him to be there for me. thanks so much you guys! *hugs* xxxxxxxxxxx