Everyone has smething to say! (Finding out the sex)

[Steelgoddess]

I just wanted to get some advice from you ladies...

When I found out I was preggo i wasnt going to find out the sex, but then OH decided we should and I kinda wanted to know too, kinda cause i was excited already and I wanted to bond with the baby...

Ever since i told ppl im find out the sex all i get:
"They shouldn't allow ppl to find out"
"Oh we waited"
"What you want to know the sex for just wait"

The lady at the hospital even said "Oh well I hope he or she crosses her legs so u can;t find out".

Its really bugging me its like ppl are trying to make out that im doing something by finding out, for ppl who don't want to know I respect that decision so why am |I getting so much jip for wanting to know what my baby is and make preparations?

Also what do you say to these ppl??

 

[Chrissy1]

tell them to shut up because it's your decision if you want to know.....not theirs!!

I'm getting a similar thing. Everyone keeps asking if I'm going to find out the sex and when I say 'no, but purely because DH doesn't want to know and our hospital won't tell you unless you both agree to finding out' all I'm getting back is comments like 'oh well it's better if you don't know' 'it will make the suprise more special' ect ect ect......

To be completely honest, I would love to be able to find out what I'm having but I know that if I knew there's no way I wouldn't be able to keep it from my DH for another 20 weeks so I'm best not knowing at all.

Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing the sex of your baby at all..... I think it can help with the bonding process and it can make it feel a lot more realistic when you can actually call your baby him/her rather that it or the bean or whatever other nickname people use for thier baby. I would love to know just so I could plan the nursery and clothing better. I'm finding myself restricted when buying things for the nursery because I think ohh that's nice but it wouldn't suit a boy or girl IYKWIM!

 

[Mrs_Jay]

funnily enough i get the opposite, ppl being funny when i said i was considering not finding out. either way tho i think ppl should mind their own business and you do what you want to do

 

[*Star*]

Why is it when a woman gets pregnant she suddenly becomes anyone's property???

It's your baby, and if it's your choice to find out what baby is then that's what you do!

I know it's been said a lot on here but other people should just keep the nose out of our business! Unless opinions are asked for of course!!!

When is your scan Sharne?

 

[jenjen]

I can't believe people have said things like that to you! Most people want to find out the sex of their unborn babies so it's not like you're doing anything out of the ordinary is it?!

Just tell them to mind their own business, or if you want to be nice about it, tell them it's your decision as it's your baby and that you would respect their decision to want a suprise if they should ever have a baby.

Don't let them get to you hun, it's a personal decision so nobody should make you feel bad about it. Some people are just far too opinionated

 

[Gem212]

I had that to especially from older people like my nan and grandad 'in my day we didnt even get a scan" etc etc and also why defy nature its one of natures last little suprises!!

At the end of the day its your decision, we didnt find out with our first which was such a lovely suprise, but we have with this one and it feels amazing knowing what you have inside you and being able to buy things and prepare for the birth!!

Tell them to bog off and mind there own business and that its your baby and your choice!! then when they look shocked at your response blame the hormones! - but at least theyll know how you feel x x x

 

[Fly]

People are so rude tell 'em to sod off babe!! - your body your baby n thats all that matters xxxx

 

[handbagqueen]

It's so funny that people always have something to say and have different opinions on whatever a pregnant woman decides to do! I get the opposite too- whenever I tell people that I've not found out the sex they say- 'oh how can you do that?' 'you must be so strong willed' etc etc. I just ignore and smile now cos it doesn't matter what they think.
You've been waiting for this special time so don't let anyone make comments to ruin it. just smile insanely and say 'really?' to anything they say- they probably won't want to say anythign else if they think you're about to go loopy!

 

[sparky]

we're not finding out as we want the 'its a ....' suprise.

But you do whatever you want hon, people will always have an opinion but as long as you are secure in your decision then basically fuck em'

but tbh i dont belive that not knowing with not make me bond with our child any less, its irrelivant to us the sex as i equally want both its just whatever comes along first!...otherwise our mothers would have a hell of a time!

 

[louxlouxbellex]

We are planning on finding out too and people keep saying that it'll ruin the surprise. Eh Hello! It won't ruin anything! it'll make us mega excited about our precious baby son or daughter plus it's more practical. It is annoying though as it's you & your OH's decision and no one elses! Tell them all to beat it!

 

[Chrissy1]

The thing that really gets me when people say it'll spoil the suprise....is that they don't seem to realise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at the birth, finding out what sex the baby is still a suprise!!!

 

[NickyB]

The thing that really gets me when people say it'll spoil the suprise....is that they don't seem to realise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at the birth, finding out what sex the baby is still a suprise!!!

Precisely right, I can't explain why I wanted to know. But it's really nice not having an 'it'.

 

[abcd1234]

I cant believe people are saying that!!

It's your baby, its not like you're going to love them less if they are a boy/girl, it's nice to be able to say he or she and i'm glad i found out, i love being able to say "SHE has HER little feet in my side" i understand why people dont want to know but im impatient. She wont be named until shes here and i did want to keep the sex between me, baby daddy and our families but he went and told everyone in work!

If you and your OH want to know the sex then find out, who cares what they say!

 

[Strangeness]

The amount of people who make a comment when I tell them I'm having a girl is head doing! "Why did you find out?" "Oh that's ruined the surprise!" "Oh, so you know?" Grrr! It's not like I have done something awful because I know what sex baby I am having. I usually just brush it off with "I'm impatient!" but it is starting to grate on me! I'm not missing out on the surprise because it will still be a huge surprise meeting my baby. I found out the sex with my son and don't feel like I missed out at all, it was still the most amazing experience of my life!

 

[mibiuk]

Hi Sharne,

I am one of the people on here that doesn't believe in finding out the sex of babies I just find it nice until the big day but hey thats just me and my husband likes the surprise too! The biggest issue we have with keeping it to not knowing is that my husbands mother is a bit of a b**ch when it comes to us becoming pregnant as she has 3 other grandsons she is desperate for a grandaughter, when i was carrying my 1st its all well if its a boy im cutting its tickle tackle off and putting a dress on it! So down to this pure attitude and the way she bullied my SIL to find out the sex of hers well thats why I am strong on the no finding out sex rule..

To give you comfort Sharne, I had a private scan the other day as having strange pains but its something else medical and our LO is fine and im NOW a little wiser not that I want to be but put it like this MIL is going to be deeply disappointed.

PLEASE do not let anyone make you feel guilty about you wanting to find out the sex of your baby as ts YOUR CHOICE at the end of the day and if it makes you feel comfortable then sobeit.

I wish you all the best at your scan and fingers crossed that if you want to know what sex the baby is there legs are uncrossed.

Take care
Kathy xx

 

[gerb]

ooh i definately want to know. its either a boy or a girl its not that much of a surprise as far as im concerned, but i figure its the individuals choice. if they cant tell i will get another private scan and find out.
i can understand why people want to wait but its not for me. if hubby wanted a surprise thatd be fine but he doesnt seem worried so as i really want to know thats what wel do- we havent decided if we will tell others or not yet.
im not really bothered if people think im bad or not- if it was such a bad thing they wouldnt let u do it! we will love what ever it is it will just mean we can be more selective with our purchases rather than buying everything in 'cream'!

 

[Hazel]

I have felt that I have been spoken down to by some people when I said I wanted to know the sex.

I get the response "I wouldn't care as long as it's healthy". Are they saying that I am putting finding out the sex over the health of my baby?

I wanted to know, I was convinced I was having a boy but didn't actually have a preference one way or the other.

If there is the technology to be able to find out then why shouldn't we?

DH and I have chosen not to have the 4d scan as we've decided we want the surprise of who she'll look like when she's born.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Hey girls, wow thanks for your response everyone has given me so much insight and those that don't want to find out too

I guess with what i meant with bonding I mean refering to as a boy or a girl etc but i think we bond with them no matter what, I guess i was trying to think of excuses to say to these particular ppl.
Maybe with older generation its a jealousy type thing ie they didnt have it in my day these youngsters of today etc etc...

Midna, You make a really good point I didnt think of it that way...

I dont know what to do now this is really bugging me...

Did anyone find out and wish they hadnt??

 

[Gem212]

Like i said before i didnt find out with my first which was a lovely suprise but i felt myself wishing my pregnancy away so i could find out if i was having a son or daughter, but it was a lovely suprise to not know! BUT it was also a lovely suprise to find out at 20 weeks im now so excited and have thought of names bought loads of little boys bits and bobs etc

Me and my OH both agreed that we would always find out when we have more!

So as a personal preference ive found it much better knowing than before when i didnt know x x x

 

[Steelgoddess]

Like i said before i didnt find out with my first which was a lovely suprise but i felt myself wishing my pregnancy away so i could find out if i was having a son or daughter, but it was a lovely suprise to not know! BUT it was also a lovely suprise to find out at 20 weeks im now so excited and have thought of names bought loads of little boys bits and bobs etc

Me and my OH both agreed that we would always find out when we have more!

So as a personal preference ive found it much better knowing than before when i didnt know x x x

Thanks hon your replies have been really helpful,

Thanks Midna... Im getting re excited abut my scan now,,