dry but not clean! arg...... UPDATED :)

[Iwant3]

My daughter is great at going for a wee in a potty or big toilet and even when out she will ask to go and happy to use public loos etc....but

she still will not poo in a potty or toilet! So the result is we have to put a pull up on her when she needs to go - she will actually come and ask for us to put a nappy on! then in the next few mins after having the nappy on she will poo - so she has the control as in I need to poo, hold it long enough to get nappy/pull up on and then do it!

So i have to send her to pre-school in a pull up in case she needs to poo and when we go out too - which then makes her forget to wee in the toilet as she has the pull up on so she ends up weeing in it too so spoiling all her hard work with getting dry.

She's 3 in 10 days time btw.......and very stubborn. If we so much as suggest she goes in the toilet or potty to poo she has a melt down and if we have managed to get her sitting on it she will clench and go hysterical - so not the result you really want!

 

[tambo1976]

My Daughter did this and it drove me mad! I eventually refused to put any more pull ups on her. She wore knickers and when she pooped in them she HATED it with a passion. Me pulling a face of disgust and saying "Ewwwwww, oooooh poopie pants! thats smelly!" in a pathetic voice made her really hate having accidents lol.

She only poo'ed her knickers about 4 times before she started pulling them down and when I saw her removing her undies I whisked her straight on the potty or loo.

A bit of bribery and mega amounts of praise and it never took her long at all to learn where she had to poo. Omg I can even remember promising her a "poo pop" when she poo'd on the loo! a poo pop was just another word for a lollypop lmao

The only way to really learn her is to allow her to have the accidents and stop putting pull ups on her.

Good luck! xxx

 

[Happyred]

As long as she knows she can get a pull up on, she will continue to not want to use the toilet. I would sit her down explain to her that she is a big girl now who wears big girl pants, throw away all the pull ups (let her see you do this) and explain that if she needs to poo she should tell you and you will take her to the toilet or potty. Make a wee reward chart where she can get a sticker when she uses the toilet or potty and a reward for reaching 5 times, etc. when taking her to the toilet, font make a big deal of what she is about to do, but instead sit her on it and do something to take her mind off it. Sing a song together, tell a funny story or chat about Xmas. This should help her relax and let nature take its course. It will be difficult the first few times, but be strong and you will get results. Good luck! Xx

 

[Iwant3]

she is at pre-school 3 mornings, so not sure how they would feel about her not being clean and wearing knickers. will possible speak to them about it.

I have tried refusing to put pull ups on her, but she will just go back to playing with knickers on pretending she doesn't need to poo and then will hold it in so long, she then starts complaining about her tummy ache which will go on for hours (she is stubborn) then she finally starts to go uncontrollably and gets in a right state about it - which I feel is wrong and humiliating for her.

Most of the literature about potty training says not to push the issue and force them onto a toilet/potty as this is distressing and gives them a negative impression of the toilet - like some kind of torture chamber!

I have talked to her over and over and spoke about her being a big girl and wearing knickers (which she does most of the day) but she just says she's a baby when it comes to poo.

It doesn't help that all the other children i have in my care are all in nappies - some the same age as her, so I guess she sees me changing their nappies all the time and doesn't see a reason why she should not be the same!

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh blimey the other kids in your care in nappies, I can see how that may look for her, that's a real tricky one...could you start with weekends no pullups and see how you go for now, so that it take s the school thing out of the loop, even if she managed to hang on till monday morning, but it may start to break the cycle, or have a word with nursey and with their help go cold turkey...

good cluck girls are sooo hard work aren't they...

 

[Iwant3]

they certainly are! my son potty trained a week after his 3rd birthday and was dry and clean within a week - and has never had a poop accident - he's now coming up to 7!

I think she still wants this part of her baby hood tbh and as i said I am changing the other kids nappies and she's like my turn now - and wants me to always do the same for her as I have for them (fair enough I guess). The other kids are almost 3, just turned 3 and about to turn 3 (a week after my daughter does) and all in nappies 24/7.

 

[scn]

which I feel is wrong and humiliating for her.

Most of the literature about potty training says not to push the issue and force them onto a toilet/potty as this is distressing and gives them a negative impression of the toilet - like some kind of torture chamber!

It doesn't help that all the other children i have in my care are all in nappies - some the same age as her, so I guess she sees me changing their nappies all the time and doesn't see a reason why she should not be the same!

No tips I'm afraid, but totally agree with you.
Being a paediatric nurse, I've seen this lots and she will do it when she's good and ready. You'll probably find it happens when the other kids in your care no longer need nappies. She's showing you that SHE is still your baby and that you are HER mummy. She's still young and I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[Iwant3]

Thanks scn! I really appreciate your comment! I feel like I am under pressure to get her to use the toilet for poo too! but I'm not am I - she will do it when she feels ready. And good news 2 of the other kids are potty training at home so may soon be coming to me using potty/toilet

 

[Iwant3]

UPDATE - it's now mid-February and we have had pooing in nappies/pull-ups since I posted this......wearing knickers the rest of the time.

Over the weekend she just suddenly sat on the toilet and did a poo and has used potty or toilet since so leaving to her own devises she did suddenly decide it was a good idea, wasn't forced on her and we never mentioned anything when she asked for a nappy - we would just put it on, she would go and poo then come back and say she wanted it changed as soon as she had done it - we would then change her with no comment.

so happy she finally did it

 

[scn]

That's great Iwant3. They always manage when the time is right for them! I think you handled it well x

 

[HelenJ]

My son always refused a potty /toilet. At 3 I left him naked (bottom down) for 3 days and said if he pees on the toilet he would get a candy every time. First day he didn't but saw where the pee comes from and how it feels. Second day he tried the toulet for pee and third for poop. He has been without accidents since day 4 ever since (during the night too). I quickly reduced the candy intake. He only gets one for a big poop once a day.

All other things he refused (also stickers, small toys, reward chart). Perhaps not the best way too go but he really was scared and hysterical with the potty/toilet until he knew he could get a candy. I never forced it on him. He went to preschool playtime from 2 years on and they mever made an issue of m being in a nappy. They did take all the kids to the toilet and I know he sat on it there but just didn't pee. Until he did at home.

 

[babyem]

Yeyy! X

Tapping x