Does it mean I'll be a bad mum...

[HeppiBean]

I've just had a friend of my OH's who is also pregnant tell me that I don't know what I'm doing and I need to read the "parenting book" just cause a few of the suggestions she made for my "essentials" list I didn't consider essential or just don't need them right now... Such as a moses basket, cause we're going straight to cot with a newborn safety thing (from mothercare) to save a bit of money... And a playgym (i'll get one when they're old enough to use it) and a stair gate (again, when they're old enough that it's necessary)... And apparently formula is a necessity... What's wrong with my own milk ey?!?!

Really angered me and made me feel really small xx

 

[bethx]

You wont be a bad mother at all, unfortunately during pregnancy you will always find people to tell you what you are doing is wrong. Your right all those things you dont need straight away and if you dont want a moses basket you dont have to have one. Justt keep reading your books if thats what you want to do and do what you want. You'll never please them all so dont worry about it.

 

[HeppiBean]

Just made me feel really stupid that's all... She went on a HUGE rant took me forever to read (was a message on fb)... I barely even know the girl!! Never met her... She added me cause of OH and we're both due around the same time :/ xx

 

[midnight]

no your only doing similar to what im doing and this is my 5th i tend to buy as i need and not everyone uses a moses basket and you right you dont need formula if your going to breast feed and i totally agree with buy as you need your going to be a fab mummy ignore this woman xx

 

[MrsR]

Hugs x I don't consider a lot of things that others say are essential as essential! Such as walkers, door bouncers, baby bouncers etc etc etc lol x you'll be a fantastic mummy, don't let anyone make you think different x

 

[tinytoes]

You are not going to be a bad mother , I didnt get any of the"essentials" and got what I needed when I needed it . Parenting books .. well the best way to learn how to be a parent is by doing it . Dont let anyone put you down xxx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Its upto you what you do hun don't let her tell you different xxx

 

[Vicxzy]

Haha what a spectacular cow & know it all! tell her to deal with her own business before sticking her fat beak into yours!
She'll be the one whos a crap Mum as she'll be too busy interfering in other peoples lives to look after her own kid x

 

[leibiloo87]

I wouldnt let her bother you hun sounds like a bit of a freak to be honest whatever YOU think is essential is just coz someone else is getting it doesnt make it essential, I mean what the hell would you need a baby gate with a newborn for???? sillly! This is our 3rd baby and we have just got what we know we will use dont let her make you feel small what your doing with the cot thingy is perfectly fine and if your breastfeeding why would you waste money on buying fomular id send her a message back telling her shes bloody crazy but thats just me lol xxx

 

[cherrybinky]

Heppi. We all do things different hunny. I made it quite clear to all and sundry that it might be my first baby but Im not taking advice about cots, prams, nappies, feeding etc from ANYONE. Its our baby and me and Pete will do things our way. Ive already warned his Mother and told him not to compare me and our baby to his ex and their 2 children and experiences. *ranty bit over*

I have a supervisor who's already told me Im having an epidural as water births are naff, I shall be using disposable nappies (which I wont) and that even though Im step Mum to 2 children already I know nothing. Some people just think they know it all and will rub you up the wrong way. I say "UP THEIRS" !
xx

 

[xx emma xx]

Why oh why oh why would you need a stair gate! That's just ridiculous. Ignore her. You will be a great mum x

 

[pinkymum]

Don't let her upset you hun. As some of the girls have said you do it your way. What one person might see as essential another might not. It gets annoying when people want to give advice. Take it with a pinch of salt!

 

[snr1982]

best thing you can do is hit the delete button on her message, do as you want its your baby.

 

[Baby Bean]

She sounds awful, it definitely does not mean you will be a bad mum. Sounds to me.like you are very sensible! People always try and tell you what to do but you need to just do what is right for you hun, your instincts as a mum will be right x

 

[HeppiBean]

Thanks everyone... I mean, I would love to be able to afford a moses basket and other lovely things for my child that I won't necessarily "need" but as me and OH are on benefits due to my health (he is my carer) we just can't afford to... Best bit is I had a huge go at her not too long after posting on here and she's deleted me now... HAH x

 

[Yodabo]

No way will it make you a bad mum! I only got what i needed. Its tempting to try and get it all when its your first but really there's no need! I didn't buy any big things till my boy was old enough to use them, its called spreading out the cost, nothing wrong with it! Oh and personally, i would've rather him get used to the cot from day 1 than try the transition from moses basket to cot! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, your going to be great! x

 

[PrincessPeanut]

Tell her reading her pointless rants on facebook when you don't even know the women is non essential along with emailing people telling them what they are supposedly doing wrong, is also non essential so therefore she is non essential and should just shut the hell up.
Bah!!
Some people are cows! Hugs xxx

 

[Sunnyb]

Hate people that interfere! You do what you feel is right for you hun.
My only suggestion to you would be on the breastfeeding front & this is only down to my experience & a friend who encountered the same thing. Just get a plastic cup or a couple of baby bottles & some sterilising fluid & maybe a couple of cartons of ready made formula. This way you can have a back up should you encounter any issues with breastfeeding. I had really sore nipples one night & struggled feeding & Joseph screamed all night. It was so stressful & had I had a bottle to give him to get him through to the morning & I could speak to my midwife it would have been much less stressful. I think you are sensible to not buy stuff for the sake of it & does spending a fortune on a baby that doesn't understand what you're doing make you a better parent? Nope. Does it mean you love them more cos you spend a fortune? Nope. Will they love you any less for it? Nope.
My advice, bin her as a FB friend! I don't go on Facebook for all the annoying interfering twods I know at the moment. It just makes me fume!!!!

Sunnyb xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Good for you having your rant Heppi bean, she doesn't sound very nice at all!

You don't need a moses basket , we have hardly used ours (my sister lent us hers), he didn't like it and we wanted him to sleep with us, and now he sleeps in the cot. Maybee you can get a pushchair with carrytot in built so you can use that anyway

You don't need activity arches , devon used his after 2 months , but again you can get them later when the car boot season is on and you can really get good quality ones as all are used lightly.

One of the things I would say I did with my first is raid mothercare for everything, and then after you have baby you realise what a lot of stuff you don't need, use or want. If you have already switched onto that one and you havn't even had baby yet, your onto a winner and will be a very sucessful mummy X

look up toy librarys in your area after you have baby as they lend toys even big ones for 2 weeks at a time, and things are so short lived with babies growing so fast , you can just keep on changing things.

Oh I bottle fed 3 kids and am breastfeeding for the first time, I would say go for it, so much easier and cheeper - saving a small fortune at mo